Worst mother ever?

[rosgirl]

My 16 year old dd met a 18 year old on social media, she's met him once when he came to our house she now wants to travel 100 miles to stay the night with him I have refused this and I'm now dealing with a miserable stroppy teenager who hates me aibu or are my worry justified?

Do you even need to ask?

I can imagine that at 16 I would have thrown a complete fit about this, my dad would have said over my dead body are you going, I would have sulked but secretly been oh so relieved, and in later years it would be part of family folklore. Just keep saying no no no. She wants you to say no. If you don't say no she will hate you for not saying no in a few years.

Her response to your perfectly reasonable compromise demonstrates just how immature she really is.

There's three, that I know of, cases of young women being murdered by men they've met up with, currently in the papers.

I'd be educating her, fast on what type of men there are out there. Including kidnap and torture cases.

Normally I'd say 16 year olds still need a level of ignorance but she needs a wake up call, fast.

@RiftGibbon if you Google the countries that make up the UK you will see that in Scotland you do not need parental consent to marry at 16. You can marry, serve in the army, leave care, vote local and EU elections at 16 in Scotland. You just can't eles where in the UK.

Anyway, I digress. I think keeping your daughter safe is the most sound advice. By all means facilitate contact in your home but I would not be sending her up on her own. I like your compromise of going up and staying near. She will calm down soon and will most likely thank you down the line.

Stand your ground. What she's suggested is dangerous and stupid.

I’d say let her go but tell her she needs to keep in touch and maybe ask for his address? You don’t want her going out and lying to you where she is going (what I did at 16)

You have every right to be worried

Sometimes you have to be the boring old unpopular hated parent.
Just tell her she's not going.

Butchy I must be looking in the wrong place at the law. I'm in the UK and as far as I can see, parental consent is required for marriage if the person is under 18 (and over 16)

You clearly are looking in the wrong place. . I’m in Scotland. No parental consent required.

How was she proposing to travel the 100 miles to meet up with him, @rosgirl? Can she self-fund or was she expecting you to cough up? (Hopefully the latter, as that makes it easier to ensure she doesn’t go).

Jesus H Christ, I’m dreading having teens. You sounds like a good mum, OP. Good call on asking the pcso to have a word with her too.

Thanks, Butchy. I am south of the border, hence my confusion.
Hope OP can get the situation sorted.