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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I save more for DNiece than DGodson?

37 replies

Bringofbridge · 15/11/2019 16:26

I save £10 a month for my DGodson. He's 18 months.

My sister Is about to have her first baby. I was going to save the same amount for DNiece, but I don't know if I should maybe save a little bit more for her, say £15 or £20 a month.

I just know that DG has a big family who may well be saving for him, whereas DN won't have anyone else.

I should add, neither of the babies' parents know, and the accounts are/will be in my name. I intend to hand it over when they're looking to get a house or buy a car. It won't be a massive sum, but I want them to have a little amount behind them because there is nothing worse than having absolutely no safety net at all.

AIBU to put more away for DN, or should I keep them the same?

OP posts:

Samsarina · 15/11/2019 17:17

What a lovely aunt and godmother you are

Hippee · 15/11/2019 17:17

Is your sibling likely to have more children?

CastleCrasher · 15/11/2019 17:22

It's a lovely idea. Personally I'd have one account and use it to help out the DC as you see fit when the time comes. At this stage it may look like one will need more than the other, but things change. Also, what if your friend or sister have more children, and you want to save for them? Far easier to have one account than your yourself in knots with lots of them.

HUZZAH212 · 15/11/2019 17:22

Yes, definately look into the interest rates. If the money is sat in the bank so many years it should be working hard for you not the bank. Have a look on moneysavingexpert, or make an appointment with a financial advisor if you've a bit of free time. Dd had an ISA from grandparent that was rolled over twice at maturity, and the interest wasn't paltry when it was time to cash it in.

Original poster

Bringofbridge · 15/11/2019 17:26

Does your godchild have siblings? If so, have you considered that your cash gift might cause some jealousy later with other sibs who do not get the same or similar from other godparents? Also consider if others come along, you might feel obliged to do the same for each. If you end up with 10 godchildren and 17 nieces and nephews, that is a lot of dosh!

He doesn't yet, but he might one day. I can't imagine there'll be more than one sibling in the future, two at the most. To be honest, I don't think it would be right to favouritise him so I probably would make him and his siblings the same, but perhaps with a smaller amount of money each.

Mine and my sister's godparents used to treat the two of us the same but they're mostly uncles and aunts. We don't have a closer relationship to our godparents. I would like to have a close relationship with my godson.

My sister is my only sibling so I should avoid 17 nieces and nephews unless she works fast . I would keep them all the same too.

Have you thought about doing a £150 premium bond for each and leaving it at that?

I did look at Premium Bonds when DG was born but at the time they needed to be in a parent or guardian's control & were automatically accessible by the child when they turned 18. It may have changed since then.

OP posts:

Original poster

Bringofbridge · 15/11/2019 17:30

Is your sibling likely to have more children?

I would have thought so, yes. I would imagine she'll end up with two, but maybe she'll change her mind and stick with one, or love motherhood so much she'll end up with more.

OP posts:

ambereeree · 15/11/2019 17:32

I would save more for my neice.

SunshineCake · 15/11/2019 17:41

Buying premium bonds are the best idea imo. Safe money, all the £25 wins add up and there is always the change of a bigger win. Someone with £5 bond bought in the distant past won big. Make sure it is put in the child's name though. My grandparents didn't and it died with her even though it was clearly bought for me.

Babybel90 · 15/11/2019 17:45

I’d keep it all in one account in your name, you don’t know what the future will bring and you may need it yourself, or there may end up being more god children and nieces/nephews - if not then split it as and when the need arises.

Soontobe60 · 15/11/2019 17:47

In your shoes, I'd open a stocks and shares ISA in my own name and put £20 a month in, increasing it annually by £5 a month. By the time the youngest one is 18 (or the age when you want to hand over the money) there will be much more than £3k.
If you have a will, you can have it included that in the event of your death before they reach that age, the money gets split between them.

Fuzzywig · 15/11/2019 17:48

Situations change. As the money is in your name and you won’t be gifting it to them until they are adults I would suggest it is too soon to make a decision. There may be a few other nieces and nephews along the way.

I think it’s a decision for another day. It is a lovely thing to do.

BackforGood · 15/11/2019 18:16

I agree with @PooWillyBumBum in the 2nd reply.

Just save what you can and make a decision, based on circumstances at the time.
In your own mind you can 'remember' that the savings are to be 1/2 each or 2/5:3/5 but, if they don't know anything about them, then it doesn't matter if you change your mind at the last minute.

Circumstances can change so much over 20 years.

You could easily end up with several more Godchildren and/ or DNs, and might not be able to afford to save equal amounts for them.

I'd just save what you can, in your own mind, (and yes, move money about and chase what interest you cn), and then decide how you are going to distribute it, knowing their circumstances, when the time comes.

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