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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu to decorate shared living space for Christmas?

31 replies

Lemononachair · 15/11/2019 15:54

I live in a shared house with a big communal living room/dining room and kitchen.

I have my own room and bathroom but they are quite small and all the available space is taken up with storage for things I need plus TV/bed etc.

This time last year I was suicidal and depressed after my ex left me for OW. I had no motivation or interest in anything and basically shut myself away like a hermit in my room. I threw away all the other decorations I had, some of which I'd had for years, because I didn't have the room to store them and tbh I wanted a fresh start with new things not tarnished by my ex.

This year I am in a much better place physically and mentally and am actually starting to get excited about preparing and decorating for Christmas. I want to buy or make some nice new stuff that I can keep and take with me when I eventually get my own place.

I do want to decorate my room but in reality there is just no space. No room for a tree, only one tiny windowsill which can only accommodate a few picture frames. I can't stick anything to the walls or ceiling.

Wibu to decorate the shared space? I can't afford much so it will just be a few things, plus a tree. We have a wood beams and log burner, it's such a nice cozy space it's begging to be decorated! There is a plug socket and a space right next to my room which would be ideal for a tree and wouldn't get in anyone's way. Would this be ok?

OP posts:
HaveeeeYouMetTed · 15/11/2019 15:57

I can't see any issue with decorating for the festive season but really you need to be asking the other people who share the communal space.

Elbeagle · 15/11/2019 15:58

Why don’t you ask them?

DisplayPurposesOnly · 15/11/2019 15:59

really you need to be asking the other people who share the communal space

Yep, why are you asking us!

TulipsTwoLips · 15/11/2019 16:01

Ask them not us! 🎄

DisplayPurposesOnly · 15/11/2019 16:02

Sorry, also meant to say I'm glad to hear you feel better this Christmas than you did last year. It's a tough process.

beethebee · 15/11/2019 16:03

Of course ask your housemates, but don't be upset if they say no. Some people really dislike Christmas for a wide variety of reasons.

Original poster
Lemononachair · 15/11/2019 16:04

I know it's obvious to ask them! Just thought I'd throw it open to the MN audience as I really want to do it and if I ask and they say no I can't do it anyway. At least if the general consensus is ok, I know they probably won't ask me to take it down Grin

OP posts:
Baileyscheesecake · 15/11/2019 16:06

Also even if the other people you share with agree, ask permission from landlord if it involves attaching decorations to walls etc.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 15/11/2019 16:08

I'd have been delighted if someone decorated the shared spaces when I shared houses!

As long as it's not too full on (electronic singing reindeer) or completely obliterates the TV etcGrin

Good to hesr you're feeling better..
Long may it continue!

WantToBeMum · 15/11/2019 16:14

So good to hear you are feeling better this year, well done! Christmas is a very emotional time of year so you may have ups and downs over the festive period - make sure you have a support network in place ready.
Your wood beam/log burner home sounds amazing!
Decorating the shared space sounds lovely. As others said, I would ask the other occupants. I can't imagine they would say no, they'd be very mean if so! But it's polite to check...
Do you know/socialise with them already? It could be a good opportunity to mix - tell them what day you plan to decorate and invite them to join you at the same time with their own decorations, bring some mince pies and chocolates? Knowing your neighbours makes for a happy home in my experience.

X0X0 · 15/11/2019 16:18

definitely ask the other people, they will probably be fine! (I would if I was there)

SyntheticPumpkin · 15/11/2019 16:24

You need to ask them. You’d feel worse if you put decorations up and someone asked you to take them down. And others might like to join in as well.

WorraLiberty · 15/11/2019 16:27

At least if the general consensus is ok, I know they probably won't ask me to take it down

That doesn't make any sense.

The general consensus on an internet forum doesn't make any difference here.

Just ask the people you live with.

LifeSpectator · 15/11/2019 16:31

are there religious issues you should consider for those that share with you, to be taken into consideration? and if they come home drunk one night and decide to rearrange it all , will you be upset, it would be better to ask and you might even suggest they chip in with the cost of the tree..

littleducks · 15/11/2019 16:36

Honestly if I lived with you I'd rather you didnt. If you asked I would probably say yes anyway but I'd be annoyed if you just did it.

NotStayingIn · 15/11/2019 16:39

I’m glad you are feeling better. This is a lovely idea, if I lived with you I would really appreciate it. But as others have said do check with your flat mates. Hope they are ok with it! Glitterball

NotStayingIn · 15/11/2019 16:40

littleducks and I should never live together! Grin

Original poster
Lemononachair · 15/11/2019 16:40

@IamtheDevilsAvocado no worries about inflatable Santas etc, I don't have the money for them and I don't really like that sort of stuff 😆

Fortunately there is no shared TV, we all have our TVs in our rooms. I only share with 2 others and they spend virtually no time in the shared space except the kitchen to make food. I'm the only one that ever uses the log burner or the sofas, no idea why!

I don't really want them to split the cost as whatever I get I want to take with me when I eventually leave. I may have to mention it to them but I just don't want them to say no, I plan to make it look really lovely.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemononachair · 15/11/2019 16:42

Oh, forgot to mention, there aren't any religious considerations that I know of. Afaik they are both 'Christian' if not strictly practising.

OP posts:
Elbeagle · 15/11/2019 16:43

Grin so you don’t want to ask them in case they say no, and are going to do it anyway?

WorraLiberty · 15/11/2019 16:43

I may have to mention it to them but I just don't want them to say no, I plan to make it look really lovely.

That's as may be but this time last year, you were suicidal and depressed.

Perhaps Christmas is a bad time for someone you live with and for personal reasons, they may not want their home decorated.

The chances are everyone will be fine with it, but you do need to ask.

phoenixrosehere · 15/11/2019 16:44

Just ask the others.

I wouldn’t mind as long as it was in December.

ReanimatedSGB · 15/11/2019 16:48

You really do need to ask. It is their home as much as yours and if one or more of them really dislikes Christmas for whatever reason, it's unfair of you to clutter up the shared space with decorations.

And when you ask, do not prod for reasons if anyone objects. It's' not your business as to why they don't want decorations in the shared living area.

fedup21 · 15/11/2019 16:50

It’s irrelevant even if 100 people on mumsnet reply saying that they think it’s nice!

SyntheticPumpkin · 15/11/2019 16:52

I may have to mention it to them but I just don't want them to say no, I plan to make it look really lovely.

They probably won’t say no, but you need to check in advance. You don’t know if there are any unusual allergies or phobias. You may not know whether unexpected change is an issue for them or, as Worra said, whether they have personal reasons not to want their home decorated.

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