Agent INSISTING abusive ex is present at end of tenancy inspection.. AIBU?

[Puliperusal]

I had a joint tenancy for ten years.
Was divorced in Feb this year, he moved out later that month. He has given notice so me and kids have to move out (I don't earn enough to take it on alone).

Agent is aware we are divorced and things are awkward but is INSISTING BOTH of us be present at exit inspection.

Why?
he will be AWFUL, I'm afraid of him being there, he will kick off majorly if anything is wrong (despite never cleaning anything ever).
I can face him being there, I'm so afraid I will have to get a chaperone just to keep everything calm.

Does ex HAVE to be there?
(When we were married we left three other rental properties without agent insisting we were both there).
Feeling powerless and scared..

I can understand why you're feeling wobbly about this.

Has the agent said why he needs to be there?
If it's just down to paperwork then can he not accommodate your ex going to the offices to sign things?
Do you have access to your contract to see what it says about end of tenancy arrangements?

That's fucking ridiculous.

Either tell him that you have an injunction against him and so he can't be there or tell him that he has refused to be there. And that if there are any issues you will sort it out

He does not have a legal right to demand this

Go back to the agent and ask them to point you in the direction of the relevant legislation, and then you'll allow it. Until then, politely tell them to go fuck themselves.

Sod your tenancy agreement or any agent insisting on anything.
Write to them stating clearly
'Ex moved out on this date. He will not be present at check out because he is abusive, and it would not be safe for me to involve him in this process. If you do not understand the risk I would be facing if I did this I suggest you contact the local police domestic violence liaison department for some clarification on the matter.'

Don't be too ashamed to tell them he was abusive. It needs to be explained.

Presumably the agent is thinking about any dilapidations /repairs and return of the deposit (to whom, dispute of dilapidations/cost). From a contractual perspective, your DH has a right to be there but if he does not want to attend, to leave this up to you, he doesn’t have to attend as it was joint tenancy.

There are people who can represent tenants for check out process, usually hired to ensure highest percentage of return of deposit but you could hire someone for this instance too. They’re usually @£150 so if deposit is significant, it’s usually worth it. Then you wouldn’t have to go either.

Tenants dont need to be there at all

Is agent gonna refuse to inspect forever??

I guess it's because the agent can pursue either of you for any damage?
Could you ask the agent to do the inspection with you and then later the same day do it with him. So you don't need to be in the same place?
Or just tell the agent that any damage would be taken out of the (jointly held?) deposit anyway, so only an issue if he is going to dispute that formally with the deposit agency.