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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Guest room opened how long?

32 replies

Trickyshel · 13/11/2019 10:39

So I helped a colleague going through a DV separation by offering my spare room until she got on her feet.
That was 5 months ago.
How do I approach the subject of her finding her own place now? Or is it rude of me?
She works full time and isn't depressed with the situation.
My close friend says I've made it too easy for her as I provide meals.for her and ask for for very little rent (thinking it was allowing her to save towards her own place)
Thanks for any advice....

OP posts:
TheSilveryPussycat · 13/11/2019 16:38

She can't claim that she's become a tenant now. She is a licencee, which means you can ask her to leave any time.

Raphael34 · 13/11/2019 16:46

I’d give her a month to move out

Ponoka7 · 13/11/2019 16:52

Very few people move in December, it's the worst month to be looking for somewhere to live. So I'd start the conversation about what her plans are, how her saving is going and expect her to find somewhere by February.

The arrangement needs to change in regards to meals.

Don't put yourself out over Christmas, you've done your bit.

Hugsgalore · 13/11/2019 16:53

Look... there is no point in lying to her. She is your friend and you work together. Any lie will be you d out and she'll be hurt.

Just say... Look, I'm really glad to see you're doing ok and I'm glad to have been a help but this arrangement was never meant to be permanent. Have you found anywhere to live permanently because ideally I'd like the room back before Christmas.

That gives her more than one month. And stop cooking for her. You're doing yourself no favours here! She'll never want to leave

Trickyshel · 13/11/2019 21:24

Thanks for all your messages.
The original arrangement was "until she got on her feet" no actual timescales.
I started making her meals as she was Malnourished from her relationship.
She has mentioned that she has looked about (on the internet) at properties but wants to stay in the area which can be a little expensive.
I have suggested registering with an estate agent, but haven't approached the timescales .
She is a similar age to my DD so I have probably mothered her a little.. Still I need to have the chat about maybe 2020 a new start, :)
Hubby and I are looking forward to having our space back again.

OP posts:
Cryalot2 · 13/11/2019 21:33

You have been a kind soul.
I think over a meal explain she has to the end of the year to move as you are needing the room .
Good wishes .

Sweetpea55 · 14/11/2019 18:59

Tell her youv got family coming for Christmas and you'll need the room. Say you didn't realise that she would still be here at christmas

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