Behaviour on trains

[Ghoulestofmums]

Inspired by the boiled egg gate thread, I understand that eating smelly food on trains and putting on make up on trains are both no no’s for MNers. (I rarely use trains so have no strong opinions).

However, I have an annual lengthy train trip and wonder how to avoid annoying fellow passengers, I have to leave home by 5.00am to drive to the station. Catch train at 6.00am, arrive 9.30 am, straight to all day meeting, catch train home at 4.30,pm (usually arriving back at station with 10 minutes maximum to spare) and arrive home around 8.15. Lunch is a working lunch with a few titchy sandwiches laid on,

Now, pre 5.00am I can’t face breakfast, or putting on make up. So the only chance I have to put on make up is on the train (colleagues waiting for me at destination station). And the only chance of food is a Danish etc from the station.

On the way back, after hardly any lunch (and it’s a working lunch anyway) I don’t have time to eat at the station but can only buy a baguette etc to eat on the train. By the time I get home at 8.15pm ish, I’m far too tired to eat.

Basically, then, my only down time is the train. What should I do?

There's someone putting make up on the train right now opposite me. I don't see the problem, not harming anyone.

I go on the train four days a year to a conference. The behaviour on trains is shocking to me. It's like going to the zoo! People have no dignity.

What happened to the days when people were able to get (fully) ready for their day, eat breakfast at home and get on the train and be quiet? If you have to do anything (laptops/movies) do it silently. Have some dignity. If it wouldn't happen on 'Brief Encounter' please don't do it.

Lipz you know it's not normal or reasonable to get such rage over tiny noises?

I don't really get it tbh. I regularly travel on the train between London and Aberdeen and I have been served Curry, Egg Sandwiches and Camembert. None of these things I would actively choose to eat on a train, but if they are on the menu then yes, of course I am going to choose it.

Ha, I do hope you're joking TheSquashyHat , try spending 240 days a year commuting and then we'll talk.

Rules for trains:

Do not play music/programmes/podcasts people can hear through your headphones and definitely not in quiet carriage

If in quiet carriage do not have loud conversations, either in person, or on phone

Do not eat smelly food

Do not put cases on seats, my bottom needs a seat more than your case does (same goes for bags, but they are usually easier to move, the problem comes when person is petrified someone will steal their case, even though it's very heavy and you can't run off with it!)

Don't really mind about make-up on train though don't know how people can manage to put eye make up on, on a moving train!

I find commuter trains are generally ok but if you travel in the day you can kiss goodbye to anyone paying any attention to the quiet carriage for example.

If it wouldn't happen on 'Brief Encounter' please don't do it Love this!

What's people's objection with make up?

It’s a bit ridiculous how non-commuters react to routine things on trains. You need to be prepared for anything - including the toilet malfunctioning so the smell of shit wafts up suddenly through the carriage as happens frequently with Virgin.

Lipz I presume you know you have misophonia and are seeking help for it.

It must be so hard to go through life with that degree of anger at minor sounds. If you don't know that's unusual, then for info most other people aren't so enraged all the time. It might be worth looking into what steps you can take to minimise the triggers, because everyone else isn't going to stop eating crisps any time soon

My pet hate on the train is people in the quiet coach banging away on a laptop. Typing is not quiet, and they seem to have to type furiously just to demonstrate to all the other passengers how terribly busy they are. Drives me mad.

Lipz I presume you know you have misophonia and are seeking help for it

I don't think Lipz' post suggests she has misophonia! Aren't most people annoyed at people who have to rummage noisily in their giant bag of crisps and then crunch noisily? Noisy eating is bad manners. A wee bit of consideration makes everyone's journey more pleasant.

You could eat your breakfast pastry on the platform before getting on the train, and bring a packed lunch (e.g. chunky soup in a flask) to eat at work. If nothing else it'll make a statement about the inadequacy of the titchy sandwiches.

I have a similar commute to you. I eat a non smelly breakfast in the first part of the journey and then I apply make up in the loo before getting off.

I think anything which invades other people's space or senses - so smells, sounds, physically in the way, is unreasonable. I don't see the issue with makeup, but deodorant or nail clippings I do.

I took the two hour train from at lunchtime recently and most people were eating something - including a lot of station takeaways; I think at a 'normal' eating time that's to be expected.

It all depends who you are sitting next to. I used to do early/late communtes and I honestly couldn't have given a shit what you pulled out. I'd notice but it's just a sandwich etc it will be other soon. It was always coffee I could smell the most.

I did use to buy a cheese sandwich, think that's harmless but I'm sure someone will come and say that cheese is vile in public. A croissant smells lovely, surely everyone likes the smell? I did have a journey where a woman washed her feet by spitting on them and wiping with tissue, now that was disgusting!

Also dont see the harm in putting on make up on the train, as long as you're not asking the passenger next to you to hold your bag then I dont see how it bothers anyone else.

OllyBJolly she isn't talking about being mildly irritated though by noisy eating. Her emotional response is high. To something that is not a big deal.

that little clicking really gives me the rage !!!

Crisps make me want to rip my ears off my head !!

Noone should be made that angry by minor noises. A bit irritated fine but not to that extent

I’m with SquashyHat and Lipz.

Actually, maybe not the make-up bit but definitely the crisps. But my biggest bugbear is people who watch stuff on their phones with the sound up. That really is the pits and it’s becoming quite common.

but am sure you are socially-skilled enough to account for this. It's not necessarily about social skills. I don't have a very good sense of smell (ie I can still smell, but not as well as some other people I know) and it wouldn't have occurred to me to think that an egg mayonnaise sandwich "stank". (Hard boiled egg in shell, yes, but not egg in mayonnaise sandwiched between two slices of bread.)

What happened to the days when people were able to get (fully) ready for their day, eat breakfast at home and get on the train and be quiet? They disappeared at about the time that people started to have commutes of an hour or more, or were expected often several times a week to travel to meetings requiring you to get up at 4am to start a journey at 5am and not get back home till 10pm. Fortunately when I was doing this I was to reclaim for first class travel, and breakfast and evening meal on the train - few employers allow that nowadays.

Added to which Brief Encounter was set at a time when few married women worked. But of course you knew all this, didn't you?

Aren't most people annoyed at people who have to rummage noisily in their giant bag of crisps and then crunch noisily? No.

You could eat your breakfast pastry on the platform before getting on the train, Seriously? The platform is usually nearly as crowded as the train, you are standing up having to juggle bags, and there is a stiff breeze all of which means you're more likely to waft crumbs over the person next to you.

I doubt the platform is heaving for the 6am train.

Make up is completely fine. Don’t listen to nay sayers. It’s misogynistic to suggest women should wear make up (as society expects them to and this is undeniable) but that it must be done “in private”. No nail varnish as it smells and importantly keep your elbows to yourself. Just like anything else, it’s no excuse to put your elbows into your neighbours space.

Food should not be smelly or messy - something simple like a wrap, bagel or pastry that can be eaten with your elbows in.

I often wonder how people get through the day. Imagine having to outline your day and ask when you should do something quite so basic as eat

I would far rather you apply your makeup where I can see you (as a bare-face person I find it fascinating) than take up a loo that I'm probably going to need quite suddenly. That really is anti-social.