To want a body owners user manual

[NonUrinatInVentum]

I adore Bill Bryson and can't wait to read his new book The Body - an occupants guide.

We SHOULD get a user manual. I want to get the most out of occupying a body and reassurance that mine isn't weird when it does things like javelin arse!

I want to be told in advance that it's possible to swallow and breathe at the same time but it does come with associated risks.

What would you add to the manual?

I think Bill Bryson is great too , his book should be fab.

What the hell is javelin arse ! ?

I would like to know it there is any use for all the static electric my body seems to be able to generate , I am sure I could power a small village some days . And why the hell does it hurt so much !

Javelin arse is that pain you get near a period that literally feels like a javelin being shoved up your arse!

Yes to the static electricity. I electrocuted my cat earlier whilst booping him on the nose. He wasn't impressed.

Ah I have never heard it called that .

Poor puss , If I was to give a cat a static shock the poor thing would end up looking like a startled flue brush (ing)

A explanation as to why my nose gets itchy the second my hands get wet would be appreciated.

I'd like to know why using an earbud feels so damn good