WIBU to tell my DP- bad dentist?

[HaloKitties]

Am prepared to be flamed/ called a nutter for this but hear me out...

So, a couple of weeks ago my partner ate something scalding and burnt the inside of his mouth. He wanted to know how bad it was so I had a look with a torch. I have also checked his tonsils when he felt ill, so have seen these problems more than once.

I noticed that there were some visible issues with his teeth. A white molar filling was grey around the edges, the tooth next to it had a small black 'pit' in the side by the cheek and greyish 'channels' on top of the tooth. Another tooth has a relatively sizeable black spot, recognisably a hole or pit.

I asked him a day later if he had any tooth pain, but didn't mention what I had seen (don't want him to think I was 'inspecting' or being weird- it was hard not to notice!), and he said he didn't have any. I knew that we had our dentist appointments soon, so I didn't say anything, he wasn't in pain and I presumed the dentist would sort it out.

We went today and I was first, used the mirror and explorer, told me to floss and then did the exact same with DP, did not mention any of the above, nothing about his staining, in and out (of his mouth) in less than a minute.

WIBU to I tell him what I saw so he can get a second opinion? Any dental buffs on here who can say if what I saw sounds like an issue? Should the dentist have mentioned it?

I would have just said 'babe your tooth looks a bit funky, maybe you should ask the dentist' when I was looking.

Well I went to the same dentist for years - no problems never needed treatment, then turned up for my checkup to be told he'd been replaced. Could not understand why new dentist said I needed 3 fillings replaced and 2 new ones. Turns out previous dentist was a (barely) functioning alcoholic who'd had 5 cases of malpractice filed against him and been struck off. From what I've heard since although I needed work done and he didn't do it, this was probably preferable to the treatments he has attempted and botched.
So yes, they're not infallible, the fact he's already experienced pain should hopefully be a good enough reason for a 2nd opinion.

If you search for arrested decay, you'll see lots of images of teeth with dark marks on them. Staining does not necessarily need a filling. The tooth with a white filling with staining around it may have a filling that needs replacing.
Without x-rays and a check up no-one else can tell.
Why didn't you mention it to him or at the appointment?

Like I said- I thought the dentist would say something and I didn't want to overstep any boundaries.

Darkly stained pits and fissures are actually a sign that any historic decay has stopped developing or is arrested. Active decay has a very distinct appearance and xrays will confirm the presence of a lesion.

I sometimes have black dots on my teeth and worry about them, but have seen several dentists over the years who haven't mentioned anything being wrong. It's probably just staining, which is harmless. I suppose they sometimes do say 'partially eroded' as part of whatever they're doing and saying to the nurse etc, but they don't see it as an issue.

What they do say each time is for me to get a scale and polish. It's probably just staining with your DP and that's something he could do.

Have you told him now Halo? If the marks/staining have been there for a while he will probably have been told about them.

This is weird! Even if you thought the dentist would bring it up why would you still not mention it? Is this a very new relationship? I'm not sure how you can be in a relationship with someone and not say "one of you teeth looks like it has a grey mark I wonder if you need a filling?" Or whatever. Just speak to him for god sake.

Overstep your boundaries??

you can get naked with a man and have sex with him but telling him he has some cavities he should get looked at would be "overstepping"

Slightly weirder that a simple health question is being turned into a relationship critique.

Why didn’t you say something to your husband when you looked in his mouth? If I looked in my husbands mouth and saw something that didn’t look right I would tell him. What have you got to lose?

Black is often arrested decay, or even just staining if its in the pits and fissures. It doesn't need a filling or anything and has potentially been there for years

White fillings can often disolor around the edges, especially if the previous filling was metal

In all honesty the dentist will be better and knowing what's decay than you. We train for 5 years

It's weird though you wouldn't mention it if you thought he had decay

I’d have told my dh straight away what I’d seen.
I don’t get why you felt awkward about it

It's not problem with our relationship, we have not even been going out a year, just see the same dentist so made our appointments at the same time.

He can get nervous about his health, so I was reluctant to induce anxiety by saying something that might be irrelevant.

Thank you for the comments about arrested decay, that is what it looks like so probably no problem, I was just concerned that the dentist spent the same amount of time checking both of us when he had a lot more going on.

Like I said- I thought the dentist would say something and I didn't want to overstep any boundaries.

So you are shagging him, yet think this is overstepping boundaries

Just tell him ffs

Not sure why sex brought into this- I never mentioned how intimate we are, and it's irrelevant.