A bit juvenile but here we go

[Angelita87]

Dp used to have feelings for this woman he used to work with and she had feelings for him as well. This was about 4 years ago before me and him got together. They never dated but it was definitely mutual feelings.

A week or so ago, she added him on Facebook out of nowhere and then posted a rather...suggestive Facebook story of her in a bikini. They’ve not been in any contact other than becoming Facebook friends.

However I’ve just discovered that about 10 minutes after he viewed this image, he searched for her on Instagram and requested to follow her.

AIBU to think he’s looking for more with her? As I admitted, it is very juvenile but can’t shake my concerns.

If you mean your concern, it doesn’t strike me as juvenile. I’d be concerned too.

Hmm does sound a bit dodgy. How long have you been together?

Keep your access to his Facebook, don't let on that you suspect anything. I would keep an eye on the situation.

ALWAYS go with your gut feeling op.

I'd be pissed off and I'd feel insecure and jealous but then I'm a fairly jealous and insecure person having been in a longterm relationship with someone who had no respect for me in this way. His reaction will speak volumes. When I feel insecure and jealous, I usually speak to my husband and he puts my mind at rest. He isn't defensive usually and takes my concerns on board. That is the complete opposite of the dickhead boyfriend who would get angry and turn it around on me being the problem. The two different approaches show their true colours to my mind.

You are aware now.
Don't over think it, but be aware.

Thanks for the responses so far!

@Antigon We’ve been together for 3 years and we live together.

ALWAYS go with your gut feeling op.

But ALWAYS remember it is sometimes wrong.

I’m worried that if I question him about it, he’ll say I’m overbearing for caring who he adds on social media.

Yes I would be keeping an eye on that

Sneaky but... can you go on his Facebook and remove her as a friend?
Then he will think she’s deleted him and she will think he’s deleted her.
Yes immature of me but it would bother me.

I’d be concerned but wouldn’t say anything. I’d keep a close eye on it.

Looks like your not alone in your insecurity op

Do you trust him , if not end it. But if you start getting all weird about this claiming he wants a relationship with her because he saw her in a bikini on face book it's probably going to self destruct anyway.

He still fancies her... still focuses on her.... dodgy

I think it's definitely dodgy - there's literally no need for them to reconnect with their mutual feelings for each other in the past, when you're in the picture. You're not being juvenile at all, I'd be highly suspicious.

Don't say anything, just be aware

Like PP I have been in a long term relationship with someone who cheated on me and had no respect for me. It left me very insecure and jealous.

This situation would definitely start alarm bells ringing for me.

But I would talk to my boyfriend now because when I do he reassures me and calmly listens to my concerns and keeps things open. Where my ex would get angry and shout and turn it around on me.

I would mention it to your bf before you build it up and it gets worse in your mind.

Thanks everyone, I’m feeling reassured that I’m not overreacting! I do love and trust him so I’m not going to go in all guns blazing! It could be nothing but will absolutely keep an eye on it. I wouldn’t feel comfortable logging onto his Facebook to remove her though so I’ll keep an eye from afar!