Cant understand it!

[Charleigh88]

So I was with my bf for 2 years, I have a child from a previous relationship who is 10. We had a baby this year. We went to buy a house in July and he admitted to me that he had spent £14000 on gambling in a few months and I found out he had been lying about so much more. His parents are the most horrid people Iv ever met. He worked away during pregnancy and went away Mon-Fri when baby was 2 weeks to get money to buy the house. He started saying he wanted to play golf at weekends and go to the pub so I told him to leave, I hoped he would see sense and sort things out but he went the other way. He rented a two bed cottage with his friend, and has seen our baby for a matter of hours through force since July. He is seeing someone new I assume. I just dont understand it all. His parents have said they want nothing to do with her. Iv tried mediation and he didnt turn up. Its so heartbreaking. I feel so upset by it all. Has anyone else had this situation?

I wouldn’t force him or anyone else to see the baby tbh. If they don’t want to see her they don’t deserve the privilege.
My oldest 2 dc are not my husbands. Their biological “dad” and his family wanted no contact with them at all after we separated. I forced the issue for a while but it made everyone miserable. My dc included. So I let him go off radar.
They are late teenagers now and he suddenly wanted to build a relationship with them about 4 years ago. They did not want anything to do with him at all and have ignored all efforts he has made to connect with them.
I’m not saying it was easy and of course in an ideal world all children would have wonderful relationships with both parents and extended family but it doesn’t always happen.

Sadly there’s no way of making anyone have a relationship with anyone they don’t want to.
When your DD is older she won’t have anything to thank him for.

Yes. Oldest child has never met her father and as an adult despises the twat - 25 yrs of no contact. Awful family too ( I was warned ) Contact the CSA.

His family sounds as horrible as him. I really wouldnt push for any contact, best to keep your baby away from them.

There's something wrong with all of them, and as others have said, you're better off without such people.

They may live to regret their callous disregard for your daughter, but that's their problem. For now, if they don't actively seek to be a part of her life, they don't deserve to see her. I'd worry it could do her more harm to sense that they're being "forced" to see her than for them to simply not exist in her daily life.

I think I was just so naive, I didn’t expect it off him at all as he always seemed so caring. His parents actually said they would choose his dog over our baby and he didnt react at all. They literally live up the road all of them from me. Its just gut wrenching. I have stopped trying to force him two weeks ago. He no longer works away, is home by 430 every evening and has weekends off. He works for his parents aswell so its all worked out perfect for them. Im just struggling as his web of lies have all slowly been coming to light and I feel I dont know who I was even with. My baby is so much better off without him I know that its just upsetting x

This is also his only child, and his parents only grandchild. His sister will never have a child. The parents have even told his Aunty amd cousins not to see her as she doesnt want them too. She is so manipulative its unreal. His mum dotes on his cousins children 😕