To think a relationship can survive cheating, of any sorts?

[Mimipops]

Sorry its a long one!
Back story is, over a year ago I discovered DP hadn't been entirely faithful to me. At this point we had been together for almost a year and I discovered he had never fully "ended it" with the girl he was "seeing" before me.

To go into some more detail, our relationship got pretty serious, pretty fast. We were living together within a few months and I was pregnant within the year. However after about a year, due some suspicious behaviour (him being very protective over his phone, and extremely paranoid regarding me and mine) I done some snooping through his phone and discovered the girl he was "seeing" before me, he was still in touch with. Even though he had ensured me he wasn't.
As far as I am aware there was nothing serious between those two, she wanted a relationship and he wanted casual sex when it suited him. Though the messages exchanged (while with me) was him leading her on to believe they as some point could develop into a relationship.
I do believe his reason for keeping in touch with her was to do with work, as they are linked through there jobs and he was far too much a coward to deal with the consequences of shagging a colleague, and one of them wanting more. So he burried his head in the sand and kept her hoping and believing there was a chance for the sake of an easy life. Not caring of the effect it was to have on me.
I am fully confident there was nothing more than text messages during this time, due to knowledge from mutual friends, but none the less the messages were of a totally inappropriate and unfaithful nature, while in a relationship.

Basically what I'm asking is has anyone been cheated on (or cheated) and made the relationship work afterwards? Reason I have went into so much detail is that cheating isn't always just in a sexual nature, so I'm asking anyone who this applies to too?

As I said it happened over a year ago, I told him I didn't know if I could forgive but I would try. A year down the line I have tried but I feel like I'm nowhere near "over it" and don't know if I ever will be

YABU

He kept his options open by the sound of it.

So he burried his head in the sand and kept her hoping and believing there was a chance for the sake of an easy life. Not caring of the effect it was to have on me.

I'm not particularly cynical compared to a lot of Mumsnetters but even I don't believe that.

Do you? I mean really?

A relationship, theoretically can recover from infidelity.

I don't think this one will however. Your DP sounds extremely selfish and entitled and I don't think that's as easily fixable as we'd like to believe.

Ok I've just voted the wrong way because I thought your aibu was that you couldn't/weren't getting over it and I hired yanbu .. ie of course your not getting over it, that's understandable and you shouldn't keep on trying

He's a cheat.

Also he's a coward/lacks integrity if it truly had anything to do with not dealing with shit in work.

*I voted yanbu

(Now I realise the title is suggesting a relationship can/should get past infidelity and I'd say no so yabu).

I know you're wanting to be reassured OP, but just no.

our relationship got pretty serious, pretty fast. We were living together within a few months and I was pregnant within the year.

Moving forward - maybe try to avoid doing these ^^ sorts of things.

If : when you want to move on, it is infinitely easier....

I'm genuinely not looking to be "reassured". I'm querying if anyone here is be in relationships that have survived someone cheating. I've stayed for a year for all the wrong reasons, and if anything now I think I've finally made my peace with the fact that it's done and I can't just keep using excuses to stay because its easier than walking away.
I really was just asking if anyone had been in similar situations and what their outcome was.

💐
I stayed after his 1st cheating incident. He saw it as a green light to do it again. Numerous times. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.