Lieing to my mum so she will baby sit ?

[Sweetpeach3]

Feel awful but I've begged my mum to watch the kids for 3 hours tomorrow an take them to school for me
She thinks I'm goin to finish my Christmas shop an baby shop as I'm due in 5 weeks and I'm all done (secretly) I just want to go back to bed and sleep until I pick the kids up at 6???
AIBU? No way on this earth would she have them for any other reason because if I say it's hospital appointmenfs she just invites herself along then kids are in toe lol

I'm feeling so low and shitty right now. Not sure if any of you have seen my other posts but DC dad is the biggest twat walking....
he's been out every day since Thursday and hasn't bothered to help me with the DC really and as far as I'm aware he's out again tonight but he said that's okay because he seen them for half hour yesterday....
he offered to come round one morning why I had an hour an he watched the kids. Fucking pointless as all I heard every 5 mins was "** were is that, what do they want, what are they saying"""
my Ds is ill and his meds make him hard to handle and now my hips are going funny (having physio) it doesn't help one bit. I can't breath when I carry him up to bed of a night time lol
Genuinely at my whits end I can't take much more shit and 0 help when I feel so low and knowing everyone else who should be willing to help isn't and their having the life of fucking Riley !!!

Ex says he doesn't mind having the kids but theirs always a catch I HAVE TO GO WITH THEM TO HELP!!!! Not a fucking chance easier go out on my own with the kids without him because he's worse.

Iv made it clear I want to have the baby on my own as I don't trust him to be their as he's been secretly all over social media when we was together posting pictures of the kids everywhere (I hate hate hate this) and I know he will with the new baby and he's not even been to an appointment or got him so much as a fuckin nappy and I ain't having him get to be a false brilliant dad to everyone ! An then my mums tryin take over how she's guna cut the cord etc I don't want her to so Iv just asked her to not come with me. My best friend is the only one I want their because she will put me straight an listen to what I actually want. I'm shutting wveryone out I know

Goin midwife Friday because I'm beyond depressed never felt like this I should be happy and exited it's Christmas and my new pudding is en route so I know it isn't normal just feel bad lieing to my mum

Sorry for the essay I'm just so pissed off

Your mother is a bit lousy to be honest. You’re 5 weeks of having a baby as well as having other little ones and you have to lie to her to get her to help.
Your mum will never know, though. Enjoy your lie in and none of this guilt nonsense, either. You need your rest.
Mind you your mum sounds like a Saint compared to my friends mum. She (my friend) used to have pay her mum to mind her dd. Fancy wanting paying for minding your own grand child. Her reasoning was. Well I’ve done all my baby sitting ,
fair comment maybe, but so has every other nan on the planet.

Enjoy your sleep, Sweetpeach. I can remember longing for just that - a day alone to sleep as much as I wanted. Sheer bliss.

Hope your birth goes well.

Sleep well and good luck with everything! :)

MidniteScribbler posting shit like that to someone who is clearly struggling, upset and having a stressful time, is a really knobbish thing to do.

Do you feel better for posting that? I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks "twat" when I see posts like yours, so in your attempt to look superior you're just making people think you're acting like a knob. I really would stop, if I were you, and I wish MN would delete shitty posts like yours.

@MidniteScribbler

Dear me, I have seen some sneery shite posted on here over the years but that really takes the cake. How mean. But that's obviously just you I guess.

OP good for you 💐 and YANBU.

YANBU, enjoy your rest, I’m sorry you are dealing with so much, sounds shite. Get down time however you can!

I’m not liking the way the DM is being slated. What if the DM kept telling OP her partner was a waste of space before DC1 even came along and was ignored? I’ve known people get to DC3 and complain about DP/H before and throughout every pregnancy.

@tellmethetruth4 because even if that was true, what mum wouldn't want to help out their daughter in this situation for one afternoon? Seems selfish to me for the DM to force the OP to lie and beat herself up for it when she's struggling so bad, whether she thinks she's 'made her bed and must lie in it'.

Online shopping is still shopping. 10 mins on the Christmas bargain shopping threads would do it!

Oh OP, this sounds like such a rough situation. Would you consider caking your midwife today to have a chat about how you’re feeling? As you’re so close to delivery, the sooner you get support in place, the better.

Do what you've gotta do. It sounds like you're not getting much support here. I think your mum is giving the support she feels like giving, same as your ex and it ends up being more of a burden than a help. You need actual support.
At 34 weeks pregnant with kids if you've got to lie to get some rest, then so be it.

I hope things improve soon.

Once little one is here, it really might be worth saying to your ex, have time with your children. Its not babysitting. Its parenting. X day of each week is yours. I'll have them ready for you to collect. Hopefully as baby naps you can too for that one day.

And where your mums concerned, can you say mum I NEED this help please. If you're really specific and explain that it's something you need is she likely to listen?

You sound really put-upon, OP. YANBU.

In the long term, you really need to become able to stand up to your mum. I'm not sure if the father of this baby is your ex or if you have 2 useless pricks in your life, but you need to get shot of him/them too.

I lied loads to loads of people to get a rest when I was pregnant. I didn't feel bad then and I don't now dd is 8 weeks old!

Yanbu.

You aren't going to be any good to anyone if you wear yourself out.
Have a good sleep!

Do you feel you have to lie otherwise your mother wouldn't take them, if so go for it. That very mean of her.

I dont mean to sound harsh, but you need to toughen up with the ex. If it's his time to take the kids, you absolutely don't have to be there. He needs to manage his kids by himself.

@Tellmetruth4 even if X was a useless twat before dc1 and il admitt looking back it only started after dc2 an iv carried on to have 3 kids with him- my choice I wouldn't dare change my children. *
BUT *
Their still her grandchildren so why would you want to have them for a few hours? I don't ask her ever and this is the first time she's had them since my birthday in December LAST YEAR. If she ever wants to see them I travel on 2 buses to hers with a double pram even when my dad drives ?
I was fine up until August when my ds1 suddenly became ill and it's really took its toll on me dealing with it, it came out of no were and it's really severe. The medicine is 30ml a day and I have a review Friday and it keeps going up an up an new ones added in etc it's so shit because it's changing my baby! Iv spent weeks in hospital with him and appointments every week. She didn't have dc2 when this happened. She was moaning at me giving me more stress so my brother had dc2 when this was happening. He and his wife help me a lot if needed as their boys are 13 now so the kids adore them!!

Im looking forward to dropping them off and going back to bed all day to just lie their in complete silence! I feel slightly better knowing I'm nbu
Lost my shit last night and Put x straight he's going to have them over the weekends until baby comes then once baby is here he's going to work out set days to have the older 2 depending what suits us all best - he won't have the new baby as he's scared of baby's an in Brest feeding so don't know how on earth he's guna bond? 🤷🏼‍♀️and if he sticks to it is another matter but hey

DM- not told her about the little lie in regards to shopping but iv told her how shit I feel and the way she's being isn't helping. She said she will back off in regards to my labor an just let me deal with it my way. I told her she was to much packing mine an the baby's bag and then herself one and then telling everyone she's cutting the cord etc. She may be exited but I had 0 input and it's my baby
She agreed and my brother told her she's being abit much so hopefully it'll get easier now xx

I would help you! Maybe you should post a general location but perhaps I’m being naive. It doesn’t matter what you say to your mum. Get the sleep you need.

Yanbu. It s only a little white lie which you shouldn't have to tell if people were actually supporting you properly.
If my dd ever has a baby I will help her any way I can but not intrude on labour/hospital stuff unless asked. That's her and her dp s time.
I had 2 shitty pregnancies (pre eclampsia) and really valued my dm s help.
Not so much my ex P. He kept going out drinking too and was harder to deal with than 2 kids. We were better off without him tbh.
Hope all goes well and you get some much needed rest. Tiredness is horrible.

@recklessruby exactly. My DSS had w little girl and I used to have her once a week for them why they had a break and she's only a month younger then my DD so I had 2 newborns and a 1Yo was hard work but you help your kids don't you

But anywaysssssss mums
I'm off the hospital soon because I think my waters are slowly breaking haha just don't think I'm ment to be lazy lmao, had a wee last night and then about 5 mins later had a trickle down my leg? Number 3 and iv never had them break iv either had them broken or it burst as the baby's head came out! So iv no idea if they've broke or not just strange it happened after I had a wee. It didn't smell or have any colour and I lost my "plug" about 2-3 weeks ago but MW said don't worry.

But atLeast I'm on my own for it an I'm managing to pack my bags for myself! hahaha told my mum when I dropped the kids off an she said she was exactly the same with me (4 weeks early and number 3) never had her waters break before either an she started as a trickle so never know I could be following suit

Feel a lot happier today an the fact of she just said to keep her updated and she will just get the kids from school and stay at mine incase anything does happen! Feel like me exploding my shit has actually got me somewhere instead of being a push over ! Xx

Hope your okay Sweetpeach3

@Sweetpeach3 how are you? hope it all went ok

@X0X0 @ohtheholidays
We're all fine thank you, my mum has now offered to have them every Tuesday morning then take them to school in the afternoon so I have a full day to be lazy or nest! Feel like I got somewhere eventually after my break down!
But the waters was a false alarm. Think I just pissed myself so still no baby :( hot curry tonight after a long day walking! I want this baba out so I can feel human again lol xx

Good to hear xx best wishes