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Just had to report domestic abuse. Heart is racing

22 replies

ChocolateSiany · 11/11/2019 16:43

Neighbour was screaming at his partner. Heard him punch something. Called her a cunt. Said he was going to smash her face in. Dog was barking and going nuts. Told her he was going to kill her.

Just called the police. They're there now. Feel awful. Recently out of an abusive relationship myself. Feel a bit numb.

Anyone else had to do similar?

OP posts:

Pushpushpoosh · 11/11/2019 16:45

Well done OP you may have saved s life. Very scary situation and you did well to report it. Flowers for you!


Raphael34 · 11/11/2019 16:46

You’ve done the right thing op. Have you heard them fight before?


hippityhoppityboo · 11/11/2019 16:46

I do the same most weeks.
Police arrive and couple deny all knowledge that anything’s been going on.
I just worry that if they kill each other and I turned a blind eye i would feel awful.
Genuinely might not bother anymore.


SirVixofVixHall · 11/11/2019 16:46

Well done OP. Sit down and have some tea and something sweet. Do you have a friend who could call round ?


MrsTerryPratchett · 11/11/2019 16:47

I had to once. Thankfully it did appear to stop it. I've always hoped that was the night she made him leave. Certainly the fighting stopped.


lexiepuppy · 11/11/2019 16:48

Well done you! This has probably triggered things for yourself, but you may well have saved your neighbours life and the dogs.

You have done a really good thing and been very brave and not just ignored it.

Make yourself a cup of tea and have a sit down. Flowers


DowntonCrabby · 11/11/2019 16:51

Well done OP FlowersCakeBrew


EdersonsSmileyTattoo · 11/11/2019 16:56

I did it several times a week for eight years when we lived in our old house.

It was horrific to listen to, and they both seemed to start on each other. They’d be practically killing each other, the Police would come, take one of them away, they’d be back the next morning and it would start again.

She was as bad as him and threatened me with a broken bottle. I left them to it in the end.


ChocolateSiany · 11/11/2019 16:56

Never heard them fight, ever. Only heard him scream at her. It's abuse.

OP posts:

NKFell · 11/11/2019 17:02

Well done OP.


Bluetrews25 · 11/11/2019 17:05

Let's hope he stays away and she doesn't take him back.
You did a good thing.


LagunaBubbles · 11/11/2019 17:06

You've did the right thing 100% sure. But be prepared for one or both of them not to see it like that sadly.


ChocolateSiany · 11/11/2019 17:15

They live in flats so they don't necessarily know it was me who called. You could hear it from the street too. They didn't arrest him.

OP posts:

Alicenwonderland · 11/11/2019 17:23

Well done! You've definitely done the right thing. If she ever finds the strength to leave him and there are children involved your call will be on record and she will therefore have evidence of domestic violence if it goes to court. Many women have no evidence and therefore the men can use the system to further abuse the woman through child custody battles. I'm grateful to the person who reported my ex to the police as there was a witness statement.


CravingCheese · 11/11/2019 17:28

Well done, OP. The world would be a better place if more people had a neighbour like you. Flowers

Maybe do something to relax and treat yourself? A hot bath, meditation, yoga, baking? (whatever you like to do...)


WorldEndingFire · 11/11/2019 17:30

Awful. I'd consider making a recording using an app like the Noise app if it happens again so that there is physical evidence if the victim does wish to pursue charges in future?

That must have been very traumatic for you too - take care.


Raphael34 · 12/11/2019 07:46

Do you know the woman to talk to? She may need support


CautiousPractice · 12/11/2019 12:14

I have had to do the same on my upstairs neighbours regularly over the last 3 years. He screams and hits her for being lazy/talking to guys/he cant find his wallet, throws furniture about, calls her all sorts of names. I call the police, she has him arrested, backs down a day or 2 later, and then hes back again. He cheats on her, she starts screaming all manner of abuse at him, throws his phone and stuff out the window, throws stuff at him, she hits him, he hits her back. I call police, he gets told to leave (because they'd have to arrest both of them), he leaves, she declares she will never ever get back with him because he cheated. A few days later hes back, and within a week hes hitting her for being lazy, and the cycle starts again. They are both as bad as each other, and I was sick of reporting it to our landlord.
At the end of last year, it went suspiciously quiet for a long period, and I thought she had finally got rid of him for good, until I ran into her on my way out and discovered she was actually pregnant, and he had stopped hitting her so that SS wouldn't take the baby. He had caused a miscarriage in Mid-2018 due to violence so was on their radar, and she has an older child in the care of a family member because of her behaviour(All learnt from the crap they scream at one another). The baby is now a few months old, and I know its only a matter of time before he snaps and starts hitting her, and I WILL call the police and SS to ensure that the baby is safe.


fazakerleyjackie · 12/11/2019 12:43

Good for you, you might never know, but possibly you saved a life today.Flowers


Loneranger14 · 12/11/2019 12:49

Well done OP I've recently come out of a domestic violence realonship myself and my neighbour saved my life a few times although I'd never even spoke to them they heard me screaming a few times and rung the police I might be dead if it wasn't for the neighbour as he used to break my phone or take it from me so I had no means of calling for help
Luckly I got free from him it's been 11 months and the trauma still affects me now


ymf117 · 12/11/2019 12:53

Well done and definitely keep reporting, no one should have to live like that and people shouldn't have to see or listen to it either. Calling the police out shows not everyone will just turn a blind eye and hopefully appropriate action is taken.


ThePolishWombat · 12/11/2019 12:58

You did the right thing OP Brew
With the shocking DV statistics in this country, you may well have just saved a life!

I had to do it when I lived in my old house. Gay couple who’s house joined into mine used to have raging physical fights and we could hear everything through our bedroom wall. One night I’d got back from my closing shift at the pub - so coming up to 1am. Heard them arguing, heard a crash of glass smashing, then one of them properly screamed - the other one had glassed him in their kitchen and then continued to throw crockery Confused Police arrived and arrested the glass-thrower.

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