How old is your child when you start teaching them about sex

[PineappleBun]

DD (6 ~ nearly 7) asked about how a baby is made. I want to teach her properly without any nonsense. But I feel it's still a bit too young to tell her about sex ......hmmmm or not ?
Also not sure what other parents would think as I can imagine the kids may talk about this. Or am I worry too much ?

I told my 5 year old about eggs and sperm but dodged how they got to meet by turning on paw patrol

www.amazon.co.uk/Lets-Talk-About-Where-Babies/dp/1406357863/ref=asc_df_1406357863/?hvlocphy=1006822&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=310783995501&hvpone&hvlocint&th=1&hvpos=1o5&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-563852081949&hvrand=3306199276359481376

My child is 7, this book was great over the summer. We went at his pace (and haven't finished it!) . He had talked about things discussed in the playground so it was time for good, factual information.

Thanks Swimslikeamle. I have been looking for a book like this.

I told my 7 year old about eggs and sperm and how a baby is made. She knows the sperm come from daddy but she never asked how the sperm got to the egg. We have a book in the series Swim linked to which is very good.

I’m a fan of the Its Not the Stork series.

It covers anatomy, consent, and addresses the intimacy portion at an age appropriate level.

Just tell her properly. For the sex stuff teach her The mechanics and that it’s intimate, private and involves trust for two people to have sex. And is a better experience when love is included. No stuff about marriage. Also tell her about consent, it’s a great opportunity to do this, and bring it back to the pants rule that she should already have been introduced to in school.

And to lighten and give context to the whole package, tell her about animals and species etc. and twins and how babies get out. It’s all one topic and is fascinating. If you think that she’s able to understand it’s not a bad thing also to teach that there is an emotional and physical side to sex. And it’s for adults and people who are grown up enough to be ready for it. But never for children.

I’m doing it really really slowly. A drip feed of information. My eldest will be seven soon and he understands the lady has eggs and the man has seed. I use proper words like vagina and penis sometimes alongside our rather twee words for those things. I said sex for the first time at the weekend and he was entirely unbothered.

I got really bullied for knowing nothing at all about sex when I was 10/11. There’s not a chance that’s happening to my kids.

We told ds’s aduktsnhavebansoecialmcuddle around about 7/8 then around 9/10 just before Sex Ed we told them the truth.

I told DD when she was age 6, basic sperm meets egg.
A year or so later she asked why men have a penis and women a vulva when I told her the penis was like a hose to go in the vulva to deposit the sperm. She was 🤢

My son learned the horrid truth at 7 [Grin]
I simply answered his questions as her asked them. So at 2 he knew that babies come from mummy's tummy's.
At 4ish he asked how the baby gets there and I told him about "Daddy's seed"
He took a further 3 Years to ask "But how does Daddy's seed actually get inside, though?"
I must admit I was a bit surprised by his lack of curiosity.
The 4 year old knows because the 7 year old told her. There's no such thing as innocence for second children. [Grin]

When ds was about 3 he asked where babies come from, they grow in mummies tummies was enough to satisfy his curiosity at that point and then I added more details (seeds, eggs etc.) as he got older and asked more questions. When he was 5 and I was pregnant with dd he finally asked exactly how^^ daddy put the seed into mummy. I bought him a book aimed at his age group which explained the mechanics of sex in an age appropriate way and we read it together. His response? "Errrrr! My dad did that to you? Twice?!!" 😂
My approach has always been to answer questions as they arise in an age appropriate way but totally honestly and without euphemism or metaphor. Ds 12 and dd 6 are both aware of how babies are made now and also know about periods and the menopause.
It gets even trickier when they get to 12 and start asking about things they've heard at high school! So far I've had: what is porn hub? What is 69? And what does 'head' mean?!

As soon as they can talk and understand, in tiny, age appropriate snippets. By 7 they should be pretty well informed.

Oh don’t overthink it. You need to normalise it and just tell them I’m an age appropriate way. They need to be made to feel like that can talk to
You
About this hence don’t overthink jt. At this age it is just about making babies - even
My 10 year old thinks this. Just tell them the mechanics of it. Likely they will be disgusted by it anyway 🤣🤣

Threeish with the help of "mummy laid an egg". Once you start answering the questions at an early age you don't end up with having any kind of Big Talk later.

It's a relief to see all your comments. So I know I am doing proper thing.
About a year ago when DD was about 5, almost half of comments in a local FB group said they would stick to stork theory at age 5🙄

There’s no way I’m telling my 8 year old about how babies are made still think it’s too early, she knows that a dad puts a “seed” in mummies belly that’s as far as it goes. Don’t think 8 year old need to know about sex

My DC was 3 years old - a friend was pregnant, we saw her and the bump, the DC asked how the baby got in there. No problems.

DC did find it hilarious that Daddy's seed was put inside Mummy's tummy by using his willy, literally rolling on the floor with laughter

Then we had those Usborne books a few years later.

My daughter has just turned 8 and I read through Lets Talk about the Birds & Bees with her a few weeks ago which explained it all pretty well. I'm not sure how much of it she really understood, she was fairly quiet after we read the book and didn't want to ask any questions about anything, but I didn't want to leave things too late as she is now at the stage in school where she is being told to cover up when she gets changed for PE because its inappropriate to be dancing about in your underpants in front of boys Angry: angry

Answer the question asked from the age they ask it.

So if the question is how is a baby made then you can talk about a sperm from the dad and an egg from the mum mix together and grow into a baby (Usborne do a good flap book for young children charting the growth called How babies are made?). That may be all they want to know. Or they may ask how the baby gets out of the mum's uterus. Or they may ask how the sperm gets to the egg. Let them lead you.

Keep in mind that a young child will not have the same "yuck"/mortification reaction as a pre-teen or teen. It is much easier to talk to them because there's no value judgment being made. It is all just more interesting information about the world.

Pumpkin do you feel it’s embarrassing/shameful/weird/gross or what is the problem here? It’s a very normal bodily function for humans. I think if more 8 yr olds understood about it all, it would be easier for them to understand what’s happening and communicate it when they’re being abused. There’s no big secret here. Like alcohol and voting it’s something for older people.

In my years as a parent, foster carer and Grandparent, a child has never once asked me how the seed gets inside the mummy.
I just always kept lines of communication open and answered questions as they arose, openly talking about all topics but I tended to focus on relationships rather than the physical act. My 6 year old GS is only just starting to talk about differences in bodies and, to tell him about the sexual act right now would be totally unnecessary. DD concentrates more on talking about all sorts of relationships, friendships, marriage, living together and single parents. I think it's hard enough for children now to make sense of the confusing world they live in

Oh and just to add, a crazy high percentage of kids aged 8 have seen porn thanks to phones, so better to have them informed about sex itself and be able to do damage control well if the worst happens.

DS is nearly 10 and has now figured out that 'people do sex for fun'. That led onto a conversation about contraception, and 'oh, so that's what a condom is!'
After more questions it was just easier to show him one. He lost interest quite quickly after that.

My DS knows the basics - especially after accidentally walking in to the bathroom when I was changing a sanitary pad and freaking out that I was bleeding to death.
We have made sure he knows enough without going into TOO much detail and I am adamant about using the correct words (I still correct DH sometimes).
I'm also careful when talking about his future partners and never say he or she. DS asked me the other week if you had to be married to have a baby and I said 'no, Aunty X and Uncle Y are not married and have children but daddy and I were married when we had you' type thing. This also led to a conversation about men having babies and needing a ladies help and vice versa. I have told him at every turn that ideally you should wait to be in love with someone and committed to them before having a baby.
We have also touched on consent and whats in your pants are private

I think it's quite dangerous to tell children idiocies like the stork when it comes to sex.

DD is 8yo, she knows the basic biology of egg and sperm equal baby, she knows sex is a special cuddle that adults do that involves the penis and the vagina, she knows that sex feels good but that everyone has the right to say no to anyone else touching them and she also knows that it is not appropriate for adults to have sex with children. Specifically she has been told that if anyone touches her and she doesn't like it she has the right to say no and if they don't listen she should talk to a parent, teacher or other adult she trusts about it.

I don't see how one can keep children safe from unwanted sexual contacts (either from peers, or paedophiles) without talking about sex, choices and consent.