How much we spend on presents

[Silbury1967]

AIBU about not spending a lot on birthday and christmas presents? I'm not going into the amount we spend as that causes too many rows online, but we've never spent much on presents for our kids. They have a couple of friends round on their birthdays and eat pizza and watch movies. They've never wanted parties as none of them like crowds.
Christmas is always a lot of fun but we've never spent a lot on presents. We have a lot of kids so the room is full of presents at christmas, but they don't get expensive presents, just lots of smaller things that they've asked for and really want.
We do buy them things throughout the year however as we've never seen the point of waiting for birthdays and christmas if they need something, be it toys or gadgets. For example one of them needed a drawing tablet for her artwork recently but her birthday isn't until the spring, so we got her the tablet. They all have 'stuff', bikes etc but never for birthdays or christmas.
Our next door neighbour has asked me to stash new bikes in our shed for their two kids and that's what gave me the sudden pang of guilt that we've never bought big expensive presents for our kids.

Are your children happy and grateful and well fed and clothed?

If so, you're doing it right and you don't need to worry about getting yourself into debt so they can all have a fancy new bike for Christmas.

Do what you want as long as you don't judge others for for doing what they want , we are on a budget so can't afford to buy big gifts throughout the year so we spread the cost over a few months for Xmas ,also my oldest son,s birthday is Boxing day

Your money, your choice. Sounds like your DC have what they need, when they need it, and have a nice Christmas.

We don't buy lots of presents for Christmas or birthdays, but do spend on hobby equipment and activities.

Do what you like. It sounds like your kids are happy with the arrangement.

If it makes you feel any better OP I think you are doing it right! I spend a stupid amount on Christmas and to be honest it doesn't seem like I am thought of any better! Keep doing what you are doing and if it feels right to you then it will be right!

Sounds find to me. Do what you like. I do similar (well, compared to some).

Every year we get the frugal competitive posts - "my child only gets a book and a selection box and are very grateful" type posts.

Is this one of those dressed up as a worry?

I was never one for spending loads on presents, but have your kids never had bikes?

No, I really don't care what others spend on their kids - each family is different thank goodness. If someone wants to spend a grand on their 2 year old that's their prerogative. They aren't hurting anyone else. I personally wouldn't have a clue what to spend a huge wad of money on. We've had periods in our life when we've been comfortably off and a lot more periods when we've had to muddle through but we've always spent roughly the same. When we've had more money we've tended to spend it on extra days out with the kids. I guess I just started to feel guilty when I saw the posh bikes sitting there. I told the kids they were in the shed and to keep schtum about them i front of the little ones next door and they were really non-plussed about them being there. I expected them to ask why they didn't get big presents like that.

Yes they've had bikes but usually bought in the summer when the weather is good. They used to have new ones but nowadays they've discovered they can buy a nearly new one at our local tip recycling shop. For tenner they've had beautiful bikes from racing to mountain bikes and all they usually need is a set of new brakes or a new tyre.
They usually get a much more expensive bike than I would have been able to buy new, and they also don't have to worry too much about them getting nicked (which happens on a regular basis where we live 😠😠😠).

So your kids do get gifts ,just throughout the year ,that's fine but not everyone can afford to buy big gifts throughout the year ,every year there are 're and old threads people judging others for spending x amount their kids at Xmas wen they spend just the same or more but throughout the year

Everyone is different. As you said, your kids don’t go without, you just buy things at different times.

I’ve never spent huge sums of money on Christmas presents. My kids do a lot of clubs and we have lots of days out. You can’t do everything. They have what they really want/need, but I won’t be spending hundreds and hundreds on them.

If your DC are happy with the way you do things, then no need to change it.

In the past we’ve sometimes fallen into the trap of buying extra presents for our DC because of all the peer pressure you can get from thinking everyone else is doing more, and we’ve usually regretted it.

Well there's your answer then.
"Mummy, why don't we get bikes for Christmas?"
"Because I bought you some in the summer"

Job done.

Sometimes mine get expensive things, sometimes they don't. Depends what they want or need.

Do they not get a big present at christmas then? Do you ask them what they want and then buy it? Do you buy small presents?

I was talking to my Dad once about the poverty we lived in when I was a small child, and mentioned the Christmases when we had piles of wonderful presents. He laughed, and said "They were pocket money toys from Woolworths. They cost pennies, and we collected them throughout the year". Your children don't need expensive presents, and happy memories of games and fun at Christmas will outlast memories of what they got from you. My memories of Christmas include only three presents. One was a little ball on a piece of shirring elastic, one was a bird whistle that you dipped in soapy water and blew, and the other was a little wooden man who collapsed when you pressed the button underneath him. My biggest memories are of helping to decorate the tree, My dad making a big thing of going into the sitting room to light the fire, taking paper sticks and coal in separately and locking the door every time he went in there, so prolonging the agony for us, waiting to go in and find our presents, and the year he attached a microphone to his reel to reel tape recorder, and his voice boomed out "Get up! He's been!". Happy memories!

Yanbu.

We don’t either and we see no reason to, especially when they’re not old enough to even ask or notice.

I get grief from my mum about this because she remembers all the stuff she bought when we were kids and what she was bought. I reminded her of all the stuff she had to clear out from it all and toys that were never opened and she went silent.

Our boys are happy and healthy and that’s what matters. When they do start to ask, we’ll see what happens but until then, nothing to worry about.

That sounds lovely Byerley 😊
I guess I'm just having a wobble that I've done the right thing by them all these years 😣