Co sleeping

[Cantsleeponcemore]

AIBU to co sleep?

My dd is 5 months old. She is a very happy ebf healthy baby and is currently on the 80th percentile. I couldn't be more proud of her.

However she refuses point blank to go in her crib. I've tried getting her to sleep then putting her in, she wakes fussing within a few minutes. I've tried having her in bed with me then sliding her across (her crib is a snuzpod attached to the bed) but again she wakes within 10-20 mins. I'm at the end of my wits with it to be honest. So now she sleeps in bed next to me (I have her on the outside with her cot on the other side of her, so me, then her, then her cot so she can't fall out of the bed if that makes sense?). I don't use a duvet and I sleep topless, I also don't have a pillow anymore. I know co sleeping is really frowned upon but it's the only way we are both getting a good sleep :-( AIBU? I'm terrified something will happen to her and it will be all my fault. I tend to wake if she stirs during the night but she will usually have her milk and go back to sleep quickly without fully waking. I sleep on my side with my leg out so I can't roll onto her.

Do I need to keep persisting with the crib? I've tried the last week or so to keep putting her back in it but she's having none of it.

Weirdly she is quite happy during the day to nap in her cot in her nursery ? I don't know if it's the mattress that's the problem in the crib so I've tried to soften it with fleece sheets etc 🤦🏻‍♀️

My husband works nights so I'm alone battling this.

I did exactly the same with my 4, you are taking all the right precautions.

YANBU
Bed shared with all of mine (All horrible sleepers as am I) & it was a lifesaver

It sounds like you're following the safe co sleeping guidelines (assuming you don't smoke or drink) and you've found a way that means you both get some sleep so I think you should just relax and go with it.
We didn't intend to co sleep but ended up doing so at about 3 months for very similar reasons. She's now 11 months and sleeps passably well in her own cot in her own room so unless you want to be, this doesn't necessarily mean you'll have to carry on sleeping like this long term.

No I don't smoke (never have) and haven't drank since ttc. I'm very boring now 😂

@SquigglePigs that's reassuring, I'm slightly worried we will never have the bed back to ourselves 😳

Co sleeping 18 months strong. :)

It's the way it was always meant to be for us, enjoy it while it lasts :)

My husband and I basically switch around to co-sleep with them baby - he’s refused a crib since about 4 months old. Little fucker.

Just do what you need to.

My 6yo was a hideous sleeper, now he sleeps all night in his room, goes to sleep unaided and wakes up happy as a clam in the morning.

They all get there I’m their own time.

I did this with my 2. You’re following the right guidelines. I used to sleep on top of the duvet in a dressing gown. No pillow on baby’s side and them in their sleeping bag. DS2 went to his cot with no issues at all at around 7 months.

Hi OP,
My little one is 9 years old now 10 in a few months and believe me she was a nightmare sleeper as a baby .
Me and her dad had to put her in her car seat and go for drives at 2 am till she fell asleep.
Only then we would put her in her tiny crib .

I don't think co-sleeping is a total no-no, not according to the lullaby trust anyway (they seem to know their stuff). Even the NHS doesn't say no to it, they just encourage everyone thinking of doing it to do it safely. The main safety issues are that a smoker shouldn't share a bed with a young baby, you shouldn't share a bed with a baby when you've drank alcohol (well enough to consider yourself hard to wake), you should restrict duvets and pillows and ensure they won't fall out of the bed, they should lie on their back and the bed shouldn't be too hot or too cold so like no electric blanket definitely.

It sound like you're following those guidlines so there isn't much risk if any. My son never co-slept with us as a baby but now that he's 3, he does. It's been every night for 2 months now and I just don't have it in me to make him go back to his own bed because they're only little for such a short time and sometimes they just want their parents and to be close to them

@avamiah gosh I don't know how you coped ! That's the thing, I know we are so lucky with her in that she rarely cries etc so I feel like I'm being soft not persisting with the crib but I was literally exhausted a few months ago. I started falling asleep giving her feeds and in my mind that was more dangerous as I wasn't prepared so to speak for co sleeping. I tried last week to get her in her crib (after I'd bought new sheets etc for it) and it failed miserably. We both ended up so tired that dh was having to work at the desk in our room and watch me during the day while I slept with her.

Cantsleeponcemore,
Well we didn’t until her dad put her in bed with us.
He had the Crib on his side and to be honest he always had one eye on her and the other shut. Lol
So when she started to do the little noise that always went into a full blown cry he would pick her up and snuggle her in on his side unless she needed feeding or changing .

I always remember waking up early morning and they would both be sleeping happily my daughter laying on her dads arm and her crib next to her .

I won't lie, waking up to her stirring on a morning and then seeing her smile when she sees me does make my day! Or times like now when she's snoozing away and I can just lie and snuggle in :-)

Think I need to accept I'm keeping her as safe as I can while ensuring we both get a good nights sleep and stop making myself feel so guilty. I'm just so acutely worried something will happen and I will never forgive myself.

I found a hot water bottle in the bedside cot to warm it up. Remove it just before you slide baby in and it's been working for us.
I then keep the hot water bottle on the other side of me under a pillow to keep warm for rewarding bed during night feeds.

I’m with you OP! My 14 week old DD has had a growth spurt/sleep regression and now hates the next to me. I’m almost demented from lack of sleep as she will only do an hour at the most before waking (sometimes as little as half an hour!). We’ve not done co sleeping yet but I’m considering it! It sounds like you’re doing everything right to make it safe so just try it. I am so worried about co sleeping as well but sometimes you just have to do what you have to for your sanity!

My 6 month old was the same until 6 weeks ago. I found putting her in the crib awake and settling her to sleep in the crib worked and she's slept in the crib since.

All of mine have slept with me. I'm in bed with my nearly 5 month old now. He latches on and off throughout the night and we all sleep much better.

I co-slept with all my children. I am co-sleeping with 10mo DC4 at the moment.
I know there is a risk, statistically, but I believe the risk of crashing the car because of sleep deprivation would be much higher than the risk of SIDS.

I cosleep with my DS. We started when he was about 9 months old and I'm getting so much more sleep and he's also also sleeping a lot better. I wish I'd started sooner.

I co slept with all 4 of mine, would always do it. Never told any midwives or hvs though as they really are against it.

YANBU

I co slept with my daughter with the same sort of set up as you using a next2me crib
As she got older I put a cot next to the bed with the side down, and I found when she started crawling she would take herself into her cot rather than staying in my actual bed. At 18 months she went into her own room with no problems and no tears. We found not forcing the issue with her really worked, but obviously all children are different

Cosleeping is only frowned upon if done unsafely or if any risk factors are present. Please look at the lullaby trust website and basis online then carry on.