To think this won't actually help?

[Helpordont]

DH is having issues with DS. He's a teen and angry that his father 'left him' so is reluctant to come to visit. Our usual access pattern is out the window and has been for months. Most of the blame is being laid at my door, as I am seen as an easy target. DH's ex is an angry, bitter woman who has never moved on from their break up. The level of abuse that DH faces from her on a daily basis is eye watering and is frankly making DH unwell. DH has suggested we meet with his ex to try to find a way to move on once and for all. Is it just me who thinks this will do no good and just create an opportunity for her to level more abuse at us?

Ideally both of his parents need to meet with him to discuss things.

I'd say leave it between the two of them - it's their child and their relationship with him that matters. I wouldn't entertain it to be honest.

DSS wants us all to get along better and he feels disloyal to his mum by spending time with us because she hates us both so much. It seems our relationship (the 3 of us) is the route of the problem.....

Poor kid, caught in the middle.

Can you not attempt a civil conversation for his sake?

Of course I can attempt it. We are always civil towards her. But she cannot do the same. I'm not sure what can be gained from it as it's her carrying all the anger and hate.