To think DH should stay at home for the evening?!

[Charbead49]

We have a 3 month old and a two year old with no family near by.

We have been asked to theatre and dinner with friends. I have said no to dinner ( baby too small and boobs will be killing)

AIBU to be annoyed that DH said yes to dinner?? Aren't we in this together?!

Did you tell him you didn’t want him to go?

We discussed that maybe one of us should go. So I'm accepting it.

I still would have liked a 'no babe let's both go home', plenty of nights out ahead etc'

Its hard for me to stay in and even harder to go out :(

I’ve said YABU but really it depends on the circumstances I guess.
I was never one of those people who felt WE were pregnant so DH should also give things up, never saw the point in DH being awake in the night if I was breastfeeding, and wouldn’t expect him to never be able to go out for more than a couple of hrs if I couldn’t.
BUT I have a DH who very very rarely goes out and doesn’t drink often and always puts us first so it wouldn’t have been an issue for him to go for a long dinner.

It sounds like you’re expecting him to be a mind reader. Why don’t you just tell him how you’re feeling and give him the chance to change his mind about going?

I’m confused. You can’t go and discussed that one of you could and now you’re angry that he’s going?

Jeez why shouldn't he have an evening out?

You can go next time, surely? There are also plenty of nights to spend together.

Take a breast pump and enjoy the evening!

No I'm not angry, more grumpy.

And we were pregnant, I didn't decide on my own :).

But I do all the feeds, there is no sleepless DH nights.

I also would not tell him what to do, he recognized goes out but this friends group is both of ours.

Secondly as it is a sitter I think we should go back for bedtime, baby is small.

Bit of a lonely trek back to the house to put two kids to bed

*regularly goes out

You said one of you should go but then you get cheesed off because he does go?

Are you going to tell him or just stew about it?

So you have arranged a sitter so no reason why you need to go home early.

I used to take my pump with me and pump and dump in the toilet, it was a bit of a faff and I’d often be there 20 mins. But honestly being able to go out and see friends worked wonders for my mental health so the pros outweighed the cons for me. Could you try that?

It's biologically impossible that you both were pregnant. You were pregnant.

I think it's fine for him to stay out, is it only the boobs putting you off? Could you come closer to home for food and nip back to feed baby between?

Could you express somewhere between the two locations and stay out?

Or do you not really want to go anyway, and you'd rather get home to the kids?

If the latter, I think it's a bit unreasonable to be unhappy that he's staying out for dinner, if he's usually a decent man.

It's too late now
Presumably he's enjoying a lovely dinner while you went home alone and put kids to bed

I'd be cheesed off too