AIBU to ask DH to have a vasectomy?

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I’m 42, and realise my fertility has decreased enormously.

However, we have 2 boys with ASD and I know I could not manage another pregnancy with the way our lives are.

AIBU to ask DH to go for the snip? Anyone my age who has done this? I feel I might be asking too much when the chances of me actually getting pregnant at my age are so slim!

Nothing wrong with asking, DH had the snip around that age, as have many people I know. Can't force him into it though.

No issue with having the discussion. Ywbu to insist, but wnbu to insist on double contraception.

You can ask, doesn’t mean he’ll have the same view

He’s happy to do it (well, obvs not doing a jig at the thought!)

It’s just I feel like it’s a big ask due to my age. Statistically speaking I’m unlikely to fall pregnant...but if it did, I would be devastated

Well you’ve already asked and he’s said he would. It’s not unreasonable to have the discussion. The end result is his choice as long

Can discuss.

My husband had snip when I was 39, straight after final child..... I'd mentioned it when pregnant and hed commented that I'd done my share contraception & birth wise.

Much to my suprise he was the one that actively progressed it.... He says sleepless nights told him he'd done with babies and wanted to concentrate on kids we had.... He also commented if was a lot less painful than expected.

Yes, it's a reasonable request. I wouldn't be so sure your age makes you unlikely to conceive either. You've a lower chance of carrying a pregnancy to term, but conception and miscarriage are common enough at this age, with more eggs being fired out, and I presume you'd rather avoid it.

No yanbu you can ask. I've been asking mine for 3 years. He's now booked in for it and I'm a bit broody 🤦‍♀️ however we absolutely can not afford any more children . I have a really low sex drive which I think is hugely contributed to by the contraceptive I'm on so I just don't want to be on any now. I've done my bit too!

Yanbu.
I keep mentioning it to mine but he's not keen so condoms it is. I'm not taking hormones any more and don't want a coil.

DH and I discussed vasectomy after we were sure our family was complete.

But didn't make the final go-ahead decision until I was starting to have peri menopausal symptoms.

Things can make a great deal of sense, but head and heart decisions don't always match. It is a big ask - for both of you- to relinquish the fertile years

I think we’ll go ahead with it then, just wanted to see if others thought it unnessesery given my age!

What makes you think your fertility has decreased to the point that you think pregnancy is unlikely?

I'm 44 and certainly ovulating regularly. Falling into that way of thinking can end up with a bonus baby

I don't know why you keep going on about your age.

He's happy to do it so let him get on with it.

Sounds v sensible to me

Could you not use a condom or another method of contraception. I would not ask DH to do this. Fair enough if he wants to.