Are you bossy? Do people tell you that you are?

[whatisforteamum]

I think I am naturally a bossy person.An eldest child of a large family often left in charge of younger siblings and a mum of two.siblings
Even my husband used to remark that he would rather be told what to do even if others said he was under the thumb!
I always ask the questions others are thinking of asking.
I am highly organised too.Do you find yourself being called bossy?or indeed do you care?

(not saying anyone here is obnoxious, but signs of it would be...)

Obnoxious would be belittling other people's opinions, asserting that your preference should win even if a majority don't support it, if your underlings have high turn over (coz they quietly hate you), expecting people to laugh at your jokes, getting offended if people don't pander to your authority.... or if you genuinely think that 'everyone in our office gets along great' (the person saying that is often the most resented colleague).

My current main boss is male & bossy!! He sees it as his perogative.
90% of the time he musters patience & can be kind & encouraging but sometimes he says very sharp things I totally disagree with -- then I find his perspective... pointless at best. I'd find it unbearable if I didn't have another sideline career. I was feral in previous role (very hands off boss), so this has been quite a change.

Ahh minikiev I could be written that post.Mostly I don't get angry though except the good old meno grumpiness which is abating now.😊
I just give people jobs to do if they don't have one.Some of my colleague are very new to the industry.and don't realize how fast paced it is or indeed what to do next.

I like to call it “competent”. I usually take leadership roles and definitely stick up for the underdog in all walks of life. I have learned not to be obnoxious with it based on life experience

I'm assertive.

I like to think of it as being assertive and organised as opposed to bossy. Sometimes it's hard to stand back and watch people dithering over something trivial and I end up taking charge so I suppose some would see that as being bossy .

I am to a certain degree,I'm not overbearing though.Dh comes from a family of forthright women though so I fit in quite nicely.

I am not bossy. My sister (self-confessed control freak) and mother are and it's awful so I try my best to do things differently.

@YeOldeTrout your description of obnoxious is my last (male) boss down to a tee, just a dreadful person. I'm so glad to be away from him.

When my boss isn't sure about something, he says 'I'll go ask my boss'. He means me.

So yeah.

😂😂 I get called.Madam!

I think I was a bossy child. Maybe even in my teens. I’ve always been well able to make a plan and make a decision. It’s remarkable how few people are good at this, or maybe too quiet/unconfident to do it.

But now I’m assertive and decisive, but I think I’m also hugely flexible and cooperative so that stops it becoming ‘bossy’.

I associate being bossy with assertiveness and being extrovert which I am not at all. However I'm a control freak and I hate awkward silences so if say, I am doing a group activity or something at work and everyone is just umming and ahhing awkwardly, I am always the one to start things off. Which I guess would be seen as bossy.

Assertiveness might be expressing your opinion but it also means listening to others and a win-win. Not just getting your own way.

The description of bossy or overbearing is usually applied to someone who always thinks they are right, thinks they speak for everyone else when quoting their own opinions, spends a fair bit of time watching what other people are doing (occasionally to the detriment of their own job) and is a bit of a steamroller in general - but especially verbally. You always know what they think of every situation because they tell you, whether you actually want to know or not.

Someone described as a natural leader works by inspiring IME, they are followed because they are inspiring so they don't have to verbally direct others because they model the right behaviours and competencies.

I'm not bossy, but I am a boss, IYSWIM
I lead a large team, so I need to be decisive, assertive, and confident
I try to manage to do that without being obnoxious or pushy