To ignore..

[Whoatethechocorange]

My ex H's ex partner's friend request on FB.

H and I been split 4 months with no option of reconciliation. Used to have his son stay during holiday periods and had a decent relationship with his mum. Ex H struggled to be civil with her so I communicated with her on his behalf.
So I've recently began to regain control of my live and have gone back to FB as I'm beginning to reaquaint with friends.
Now there is a friend request from his lady and i dont want to be rude but is it UR to not accept?

No, it is not unreasonable! You're moving on with your life, and while you communicated with her when there was a purpose, that purpose no longer exists. A friend request is just that an invitation - it can be ignored by way of declining.

Ignore.

Realise this is a bit of a non problem but I suffer anxiety and just looking for a bit of reassurance im not a complete cow!

Did you want to maintain contact with the child? I can only assume that's why she's added you.

No there was never any discussion of my maintaining contact with SS.
They live about 100 miles away.
I've had NC with his mother since the couple of days after H and I split.

I often neither accept or decline friend requests. If you leave them pending and you don't use Facebook regularly, the other person can assume you've just not seen the request (and if you happen to bump into them in person you can use the excuse).

Similarly, if you don't mind her seeing your profile but you're not keen to see hers, you can accept the request but unfollow her so her posts won't flag up on your feed.

Just leave it pending instead of deleting it.

That way she might think you just haven't spotted it.

No there was never any discussion of my maintaining contact with SS.

There should have been- in the best interests of the child. How old is the child? So they get dropped by you because you have split with their father?

That seems harsh? You were a step mum (you use term H) , not a casual shag.

How old is the child? And how long were you in SS life?

I wonder if she is trying to get in contact if SS is asking after you or asked her to get in touch with you to try see you?

Ok thank you Wattagoose90
SS still can contact me through WhatsApp if need be but we weren't all that close TBH, although if he did message I would never ignore him. I just found it a bit unsettling as our 'friendship' was only ever nessacity.

Of course it’s not unreasonable, you do whatever feels right for you. I imagine she thinks you might have something in common to ‘bond’ over. But if you don’t, don’t respond. I had a friend once that was a great, fun friend but was (even I could see) a terrible partner. He had two exes make best friends, they got on well, their friendship wasn’t all about him, worked for them, if it doesn’t work for you, don’t sweat it.

It wasn't a case of just dropping my SS.
He lives a 200 mile round trip away from me and when visiting during holidays would split the time between us, grandparents and his aunt. Ex H arrangement not mine. H and I together 4 years. SS of high school age.