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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel sad at my children growing up so fast. I want to freeze time!

35 replies

Hadtonamechangeforthis123 · 10/11/2019 17:59

I have a four year old, three year old and a 10 month old.

The last 10 months seem to have passed so quickly I don't feel like my 10 month old was ever a tiny baby. It feels like it was only a few months ago my eldest was a toddler and my middle one a baby.

Everyone I know talks about getting the baby years over and done with but I have genuinely enjoyed them. They've been hard, really hard. But as someone who has always chased a career and had a long commute I've really enjoyed the time spent at home. I've even enjoyed soft play! I've found these early years really special and I don't want them to end.

Anyone feel the same?

OP posts:
IdiotInDisguise · 10/11/2019 18:01

Wait until they are 15... you see then spreading their wings and when you blink, they are gone.

Not helping, am I?

Wolfiefan · 10/11/2019 18:04

My eldest is 16. I love seeing how they grow and change. It’s great and your relationship changes but it’s brilliant to take your older child out for lunch and set the world to rights!
As a toddler he was very ill. I’m bloody glad he’s not fit and well.

QueenWhatevs · 10/11/2019 18:04

Not really. The baby years nearly ended me. Mine are 5.4 and 2.8, and today we went for lunch - I actually got to sit, eat and enjoy a meal out for the first time in, oh, about 5.4 years! My house is tidier and I get a reasonable amount of sleep. I obviously loved them as babies but they are SO much easier and more rewarding at this stage. I'll probably miss this stage a lot when they're miserable teens who hate me!

Kaykay06 · 10/11/2019 18:06

It does go fast but that’s life, my eldest is 18 youngest is 8 and you wonder where the time has gone but I guess you have to try and make the most of those years as best you can

Yoohoo16 · 10/11/2019 18:12

I feel like this and I’ve only got the one who’s 17 months and pregnant with a second.
I blinked and missed her being a baby. Having said that, she’s so much easier now and so much fun. I much prefer being a mum now, to a toddler than a baby.
I think you just have to try enjoy each day as it comes. The good bits and the bad.

whyismysoullost · 10/11/2019 19:19

Just be happy that your children are growing up,

Ponoka7 · 10/11/2019 19:31

I feel the same way about my Grandchildren because I know how fast it goes.

I think it helps Mums who might be struggling in any way, to realise that their children won't be little for long, so they will get to sleep/work etc, again.

I had two children with Additional Needs and it was scary when they had to face High School.

bridgetreilly · 10/11/2019 19:34

It is a GOOD thing that children grow up. That's the whole point.

Peggywoolley · 10/11/2019 19:38

I felt the same when my kids were very young, like it was all slipping away too fast. I was bereft when youngest went to school. Now they are both school age I am more relaxed about what age they are and just enjoying being a parent of school aged kids. We go to interesting places in the holidays, and it’s just generally easier. I am an aunt to teenagers and while I am not wishing anything away, I am quite looking forward to that stage because my niece and nephew are so lovely and funny.

Catapillarsruletheworld · 10/11/2019 19:39

My dds are 14 and 11. Time seemed to pass quite slowly when they were small, perhaps because I was young myself and time seems to speed up the older you get, and perhaps because we weren’t so busy.

Now though, the days and weeks fly by and it seems like such a short time until they go off to uni/ get a job and leave home. I don’t know what I’ll do once they fly the nest.

I have loved every stage for its own reasons though. They’re such good company now and things are easier than when they were small.

Brainfogmcfogface · 10/11/2019 19:42

8 month old and 5yo and I feel exactly the same! Especially since oldest started school, I’ve loved the preschool years and although I’ve a few to go with my youngest, it’s still going to fast for me.

Blobby10 · 10/11/2019 19:55

I wanted to freeze mine In time at 6,8 and 10 - they were old enough that stuff was fun as we weren’t tied to bed times or meal times or weaning or potty training and such like. And at ten the eldest hadn’t moved to high school and was still Undamaged by the harshness of high school 😁😁 now they are 19, 21 and 23 and are still the most wonderful human beings I could ever hope to meet and I want to freeze them in time now!!! 😁😁😁

Whitejotter · 10/11/2019 20:01

I have two 16 year olds and I disagree - I love spending time with them more and more as they grow older. I love seeing them grow and mature, their ideas developing, their confidence growing, their dependence on us diminishing - I have no desire to want to freeze time...they are growing into adults with opinions on who they are, what they want to do and where they want to go and that is a good thing. Of course I look back on the younger years fondly and we laugh and love the way we all were - but I don't want to go back there!

fourandahalfkids · 10/11/2019 20:03

I am currently looking at Universities with my oldest dad, dd2 has started college and her social life is busier than mine. Dd3 is Y9 and Ds is in his final year at Primary school. I feel time slipping by faster than ever right now.
I miss nursing them, miss them sleeping on my chest, miss not being able to go to the toilet on my own.
It doesn't get easier I'm afraid. Time slips by so quickly and in a blink of an eye they're childhood is gone. Treasure it while you can and make lasting memories.

shrumps · 10/11/2019 21:16

I hear you OP. My DC are 12 and 14. It feels like 2 minutes ago they were starting reception. We still live near the primary school they went to and I pass it on my way to work - and see the mums standing where I used to stand to see them in and out of the door. It goes so so quickly. I love them now, obviously- they are funny and great company, but nothing could have prepared me for how quickly time would pass by and how much I'd miss those early years.

MereDintofPandiculation · 10/11/2019 21:34

I've found these early years really special and I don't want them to end. But think what you have to come. 6-12 when they're so interested in everything so keen to learn, teenage years when they are beginning to form their own opinions, about politics, about everything - and they bring into your household all their lovely and interesting your friends. The best is still to come!

MereDintofPandiculation · 10/11/2019 21:35

Young not your.

Dowser · 10/11/2019 21:42

I’d certainly like to freeze time for me and my children and just let the grandchildren catch up
25 sounds about right
I never want to leave them 😢

RightOnTheEdge · 10/11/2019 21:42

I know how you feel.
My dd has just turned 9 and my ds has just turned 7. My ds still loves to snuggle with me and hold my hand when he does I always love every second because I can't help thinking that it won't be long until he won't do that anymore and it hurts my heart.

It does help though when posters on here say that their teenage ds or dd still likes to get in their bed or snuggle up on the sofa.

Witchofzog · 10/11/2019 21:43

In the nicest possible way you need to think through this differently. Your children are still really little. You have years and years of lovely times ahead. These types of threads actually make me a little annoyed. My son is 18 and I couldn't have anymore children. You have 3 and so many experiences ahead. Think yourself lucky and stop wallowing

Dowser · 10/11/2019 21:44

My youngest grandson will be 10 next year and the eldest 22 just after new year

The other 4 slot in between
I’d take a bullet for them

MsChatterbox · 10/11/2019 21:47

I feel the same way. I helps me to think one day I will miss this stage too. So try not to waste too much time missing the earlier stage! I love the stage my son is at and just don't see how I could enjoy his company any more or equal to how I do now!

footballmum · 10/11/2019 21:53

Not to put a downer on what is clearly a bit lighthearted but I used to feel like this until I saw something on Facebook to the effect of don’t be sad your children are growing older. It’s a privilege that too many people don’t get. It’s a sombring thought. All of those parents who’ve had miscarriages or lost children would give their right arms to see their children grow older.

I think it’s ok to feel a little nostalgic about the gorgeous baby or toddler phase. I know I do. Enjoy these precious times because they do fly but watching your children grow into young people and adults is a blessing. Wishing that time would stop or that they’d stop growing older somehow feels very wrong.

CoodleMoodle · 10/11/2019 22:05

5yo and 16mo here, and I get it. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on DD being young because I'm always having to deal with DS, and that does make me sad. I'm glad she's at school so I get some time with DS like I did with her, but then I realise that I hardly see her and I do miss her. (Then she comes home and starts backchatting and I change my mind...) I also feel that poor old DS has to just go along with whatever DD needs to do, like the school run, Rainbows, etc. Much like every subsequent sibling obviously.

But I do love watching them grow up, especially together. DS is just starting to play properly, and seeing them have some sort of game together is so lovely. I will miss them being little, but I'm looking forward to DS being just that bit older, when he can communicate and let us know what he wants. A bit of independence would be nice too!

LimaOscarLima · 10/11/2019 22:08

I personally don't want to get the baby years over and done with, my ds is almost 4 and I've loved being a mum so much my plan is to spread out having dc so if things go to plan I'll have another dc every 4/5 years and I'd like 3 or 4 more dc so I'll be able to spend a big chunk of my life raising children.