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AIBU?

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Original poster

About ex bringing children Home early?

22 replies

Sparrowlegs248 · 10/11/2019 17:44

Because they need a bath? He has them one weekend day a week, typically they don't have a bath on that day. Several times he's brought them home an hour and half before they're due, because they "need a bath" (have been to the park or similar). They have a bath the day before and the day after and are both under 5 so, not filthy regardless of how lucky their clothes got.

I don't see the need to cut this one day of child free time short and find it somewhat annoying!

OP posts:
LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 10/11/2019 17:46

Go out and stay out until 5 mins before they're due back.

Does he not have a bath at his place?

Northernlurker · 10/11/2019 17:49

Yes go out. He clearly feels washing the kids is (ex) wife work and has run out of ideas on how to parent his kids. Don't permit the crapness.

MyOtherProfile · 10/11/2019 17:50

Are they stinking and covered in mud? No? Well they can wait another hour then.

drspouse · 10/11/2019 17:51

I second the idea of just being out.

TheMustressMhor · 10/11/2019 17:52

He's running out of things to do with them, I'm afraid.

He also considers that it is women's work to bath DC.

No wonder you split up, OP. I would be annoyed about this too.

Original poster
Sparrowlegs248 · 10/11/2019 17:54

I would just be out but I'm not really keen on the children having to sit outside and wait for that length of time. Also, it's pitch black and cold, I use this last bit of the day to have a coffee and read.

I wouldn't bath them if they got home at the proper time. I'm quite happy to give them a quick wash and then bed.

OP posts:
devuskums · 10/11/2019 18:02

I think if you were out next time he got there early, he would have to think twice about getting there so early on subsequent drop offs.

blueluce85 · 10/11/2019 18:26

Tell him to bath them at his. Kids under 5 coming home in the evening circa 7pm should definitely be bathed and dinnered first.

And I second the other who said to be out. It won't hurt your kids to be either in the car for an hour with dad or for dad to have to go back home until you are back home. He won't be likely to do it again!

GloGirl · 10/11/2019 18:27

Until Christmas I absolutely would go out until they were due home. If they get cold or complain etc he will learn his lesson!

Littlemissdaredevil · 10/11/2019 18:37

I would not be home until 5 mins before drop of time. I presume ex drives to yours? He won’t stand in the cold for 90 mins. He can always go and sit with the kids in McDonald’s for an hour.

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 10/11/2019 18:47

Not being funny OP but if he panics and returns when they need a bath then I would hazard a guess that they are better with you regardless of the time....he sounds a bit useless to be honest and he will have to step up to parent as they get older and then he will have to learn sharpish cos it doesnt get any easier! He sounds a right tool...

Original poster
Sparrowlegs248 · 10/11/2019 18:54

I'm pretty sure he's not panicking. Shirking is more like it. He justifies it by "they're dirty, theyve been outside etc" I don't care but then makes me out to be somehow neglectful for putting them to bed "dirty".

I agree though, they could be bathed before coming home

OP posts:
Betty777 · 10/11/2019 18:54

Mine brings DS back early quite often (but not for a lame reason like that)
I have started to tell him things like 'please can we agree you will bring him back after 5, I've got tickets to the cinema with a friend so won't be home before then'.

If he brings them back early and has a key, tell him he can take him up to bath them himself if he needs to, but you won't be there

Inliverpool1 · 10/11/2019 19:01

You have to weigh up will the kids suffer and what will he tell them ? I did this when ex decided he couldn’t have the kids the night before I was due to fly off on holiday ... tried to go anyway basically and he told my three year old mummy didn’t want him and seriously damaged my 10 year old as she was left to sit and wait.
I’d say just deal with it, it’s not worth the upset

knowsmorethansnow · 10/11/2019 19:10

I would pack a pair of pjs each and tell him it's so he can bath them before bring them home.

PicaK · 10/11/2019 19:25

Shirking? Or covering up his embarrassment that they want to be with you?
What's best for the kids? Go with that.

carly2803 · 10/11/2019 19:32

i know you said he has them one weekend day OP - but how long is that? 10-5?! 7.30-8?

hes shirking i think but do they kids want to be with you more than him too?

id imagine so. Id be in and welcome them back with open arms. He will soon cut the timemore and more andthen it willgo - these types are allthe same

AlwaysCheddar · 10/11/2019 19:35

Next time say your going out and will be back 10 mins before kids due home.

RandomMess · 10/11/2019 19:43

Yep be out can you imagine how hellish it will be for him if he chooses to sit in the car with them for an hour or so, he won't do it again...

Find a cafe or pub open and enjoy your cuppa and read in there.

Original poster
Sparrowlegs248 · 10/11/2019 19:46

10 til 6. I do always welcome them back with open arms. Literally.

@Inliverpool1 this is the problem. He made a dig at me via my 2 year old lady week. Wanker.

OP posts:
Inliverpool1 · 10/11/2019 20:38

@ Nottalotta it’s standard for these types. Let him bring them home, enjoy bath time with your kids. The years fly by

Barbie222 · 10/11/2019 20:49

What Carly said. The time he is willing to spend with them is already shrinking, sadly.

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