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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

10-year old niece thinks everyone hates her

31 replies

PapayaCoconut · 10/11/2019 16:24

AIBU to think this is worrying? My 10yo DNiece recently visited for a week. She must have asked me about ten times if I was angry with her, and "jokingly" accusing me and others of "hating her" and "finding her annoying". Whilst I absolutely love and adore her, I must admit I did start to get slightly annoyed towards the end, as there are only so many times you can reassure someone that you don't hate them, and her insecure behaviour is a little bit annoying. For example, she has a habit of making silly faces and noises (such as snorting or fake laughing) all the time and she talks incessantly in different voices and accents and makes awkward jokes on her own expense. She's very preoccupied with herself and how she comes across and I think the "silly" act is some sort of defence. Her older sister is very popular and conventionally pretty and her mother is very beautiful and I think she's trying to make herself deliberately "ugly" so she doesn't get judged for not being as pretty as they are. She doesn't look after herself - doesn't brush her hair or wear clean clothes unless prompted. She has had headlice for years. Her DM never seems to be able to get rid of them.

I don't know if all this is normal in ten year old girls? Maybe it is. I recognise myself as a child in DN, but I was a very unhappy child, which I have always attributed to growing up with very unhappy parents. DNs parents have some MH problems which they're being treated for but I don't feel that anyone takes DNs issues seriously. AIBU? Is there anything I can do? She lives in another country so we don't see each other often.

OP posts:
TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 · 11/11/2019 08:19

Forgot to mention the lice repellent sprays which are basically tea tree and/or citronella essential oils mixed into a water and sprayed on washed hair. Lice don't lice the oils so i acts as a repellant, not infallible but can help one the lice are all gone.

Tvstar · 11/11/2019 09:04

If she has had lice for a long time, they are likely immune to all the normal treatments and she will need something different. She should speak to the pharmacist or gp.
The silliness and silly voices are a way of distancing herself from what she us saying. So yes she does feel awkward, but I think this is fairly normal in kids her age, as they approach adolescence and is more aware of how others view her. There's nothing in your story ringing huge alarm bells.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 11/11/2019 09:40

There's nothing in your story ringing huge alarm bells.

Apart from the lice. I would try the mechanical way, combing then out.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 11/11/2019 09:41

Also, iron her clothes and all pillowcases.

justmyview · 11/11/2019 10:31

She doesn't look after herself - doesn't brush her hair or wear clean clothes unless prompted

low self esteem?

PapayaCoconut · 11/11/2019 11:23

Forgot to mention the lice repellent sprays

She has this and I always borrow it when I'm there. It seems to work for me but not them.

If she has had lice for a long time, they are likely immune to all the normal treatments and she will need something different.

I'll suggest it to her mother. I think they've only tried the products you can buy from the chemist.

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