To ask for no Xmas presents

[SaltedCaramels]

AIBU to opt out of receiving family Xmas presents this year? I simply prefer to choose and buy my own things, there is nothing thing I want (having just Marie Kondo'd the house) and feel uncomfortable with the pressure to identify requests for others to give me, and being the focus of attention and having to make the right face when I open something. I get much more pleasure giving to others - especially the next generation (in their late teens/20s). But I find present-giving to adults a bit ridiculous. Most of the family won't mind and are very low key about presents, except my SIL who loves Xmas presents.

My BIL does this every year, he creates a justgiving page for his chosen charity and says people can give donations to that instead.

I kind of think presents for grown ups aren't really needed too.

Totally agree. My whole family have agreed to stop presents. We only buy for the three kids in the family.

It saves so much stress and relief. Not to mention less wastage. I would rather go for a meal with oh and do an escape room.

Could you ask for vouchers or a donation to charity instead if family are insistent on presents?

Thanks - very reassuring, and great suggestion re charity donation if SIL insists!

So I said no pressies please for me on the family whatsapp and several others have piled in to agree

I wish my family would agree to no presents for adults. They start mithering for gift ideas in October, and get cross with me every time I insist I'd rather have no presents .

I'm like you, op. I don't like the fuss and pressure to come up with ideas for things that I'd have just bought if I truly wanted them.

We did this years ago - we changed to only do presents for the "kids" (who are all late teens/20s now) and then Secret Santa for the adults.
Now we don't even bother with the Secret Santa as it's one less thing to stress about.
Christmases are much more laid back since we ditched presents for everyone !!

We have not bothered for years now either (at my instigation) at first it was a bit awkward as I said I wasn’t bothering and stood by it but some people in the family couldn’t cope with not giving me something - it was awkward but I said i didn’t want anything and it stopped after that, so much pressure off and expense and everyone is happy. I pointed out that everything was half price after Christmas anyway so we can treat ourselves to want we actually want - I’m not a fan of Christmas at all though btw

God I wish my materialistic mother would be like this- she is always disappointed even tho last year we have her a £100 gift voucher to a hotel spa 🙄

If your family resist and do want to buy something, why don't you ask for vouchers or experiences? My parents have everything they need and don't want tat, so we buy them vouchers etc... often my brother and I will arrange a weekend away. E.g. my brother might buy my parents theatre tickets for a show they want to see and I'll get a hotel to go with it.

If you don't want specific hotels, just ask for generic theatre tickets (you can get them for local theatres or London) or hotel vouchers that you can add up for a couple / family weekend away.
In the past, I have also given currency for my brother to spend on his various trips abroad.

I don't see a problem with charity vouchers - often I ask for the Oxfam ones. But some people don't like to give them, and if they don't this is a good compromise- no tat, save it up for something you'd like and no pressure of having to pretend to be pleased!

We don't get for adults in our family either. We used to then reduced it to a secret Santa then stopped all together. Far prefer it, adults are difficult to buy for.