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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Greasy Hair

9 replies

UnaCorda · 09/11/2019 21:55

More a WWYD, but I suppose the AIBU is whether I would be unreasonable to say something about this to the person concerned.

I have a male friend whom I've known a long time. We have had had an intermittent FWB benefit arrangement in the past but I stopped this because of his personal hygiene and because I found him very selfish in bed. However I do like him as a friend and we meet fairly frequently as we're both single and live nearby.

Every time I see this chap, without fail, he has visibly greasy hair. I find this really quite repulsive. He clearly still wants to continue our former arrangement and, when we were on holiday recently, was quite put out that I didn't want to share a hotel room (i.e. bed) with him.

On the third day of the trip I could actually smell his unwashed hair, even when we were outside. He doesn't have noticeable BO, although when we've slept together I haven't been exactly blown away by his high levels of cleanliness and I noticed that he wore the same trousers and jumper for the whole three days we were away.

My reasons for saying something would be a) because I find it both revolting and somewhat insulting that he can't be arsed to wash himself properly when he has a visitor and b) because I know that he would like to find a partner (or even just have sex occasionally) and can't help thinking that this would put most women off. I also don't want to say something in irritation when he inevitably once again makes noises about us having sex.

So, if IANBU, how should I tackle this?

OP posts:
Warpdrive · 09/11/2019 22:00

You need to start confusing in him that there's nothing less attractive than an unkempt man... that you find it a real turn on to be with people who visibly make an effort, clean, tidy, neat washed hair and take pride in appearance.

UnaCorda · 09/11/2019 22:04

Confusing in him? Confused

Otherwise, that might be something I could work with.

OP posts:
VanyaHargreeves · 09/11/2019 22:31

I really don't think I could have sex with him if his hygiene is as poor as you describe...

I'm not sure what the question is here, you're both unreasonable

Streamside · 09/11/2019 22:34

He's filthy, certainly don't have unprotected sex with anyone as dirty as that.Perhaps he's depressed and you can help with that aspect without the sleeping with him.

BlackAudi · 09/11/2019 22:47

Eugh!

You have to tell him

UsernamechangedbyMNHQ · 09/11/2019 22:49

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UnaCorda · 09/11/2019 22:57

Just don’t be a clown. Find yourself someone who knows how to take a bath and ditch the dirty mf

A clown?? As I said, I've stopped sleeping with him. We had a big falling out after the last time when he came after about thirty seconds and then rolled over and went to sleep.

OP posts:
Raspberrytruffle · 09/11/2019 22:59

Tell him! Say df you stink! Your hair looks like its been washed in a pan of old chip oil, now please hop in the shower and scrub everything with soap included your teeth! Then we can crack on and have some fun. Sometimes you have to be a bit mean because you care OP, I wish people would say um raspberry you are absolutely pen and ink! I tell my dh when its rarely needed that he needs a wash.

UsernamechangedbyMNHQ · 09/11/2019 23:27

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