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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think manners go out of the window with kids parties.

17 replies

ScottishJo31 · 09/11/2019 16:46

My niece has just had a party.
She invited 18 children... 4 turned up.. two parents let my sister know today that there children couldn’t make it... one was ill and ones car had broken down.. fair enough.. 2 didn’t respond to the invite at all and the rest didn’t turn up!
This was my Nieces first party... ( she’s 4) all places had to be paid for and the party bags all made to order, there was a lot of wasted food too...!!!
My niece was upset but got on with it but my sister was very upset and feels a bit let down. I can’t understand why people didn’t text or call to let her know that they couldn’t make it...

I wouldn’t dream of just not turning up to a party knowing how much time, effort and money it costs to organise. A text costs nothing!! I appreciate that sometimes things crop up but Aibu to think people are so thoughtless at times?

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 09/11/2019 16:50

It is rude but at that age I kept party numbers down to about six or seven children with children or parents I knew fairly well. They were less likely to cry off.

GrumpyHoonMain · 09/11/2019 16:52

She now knows who not to invite! Some parents are really inconsiderate but that does end up biting their kids in the bum as they’ll often stop getting invited to parties

Original poster
ScottishJo31 · 09/11/2019 20:28

I think I felt sorry for her as I know all the time/money and hard work she has put into It.

OP posts:
Lostsocksaresoannoying · 09/11/2019 20:43

Totally agree, it's horrible.

People can be so rude. They don't bother replying, they don't turn up when they said they would, they do turn up even when they didn't reply, they bring siblings, they turn up late.

I've always made every effort to get my children to parties because at the end of the day it's a young child's birthday.

Tothemoonandbackx · 09/11/2019 21:24

Just reading this crushed me, I would be heartbroken for my sister and niece if this were to happen (my sis hasn't got kids yet). I think it's awful when it happens at kids parties, even small ones take up alot of time, thought and effort, not to mention the money. YADNBU to think that people are thoughtless...and shitty!!!. If I were your sister, I'd only invite the kids that turned up for parties next time and I'd thank the parents for making sure their kids could make it in front of the others to shame them (not that they'd probably be bothered). As long as your niece had a good time though, just remind your sister to remember that that was what her party was all about Xxxx 🥳💕🎂

GettingABitDesperateNow · 09/11/2019 21:30

I think this is really fucking rude. Apart from the organisation, effort and cost, it's just horrible to let down a young child on their birthday

isabellerossignol · 09/11/2019 21:33

That is so rude. Your poor niece and poor sister. Makes me so angry.

TiceCream · 09/11/2019 21:34

It’s not just kids who do it. This is exactly why I’m not bothering to have a party for my 40th.

OnlineShopping · 09/11/2019 21:37

It would really upset me as well, far more than my children. It’s really rude and something that taints my view of people who do it.

Miljea · 09/11/2019 21:43

Nope, it's not just kids parties, it's everything. But the not-bothereds will be all over FB moaning about other people's rudeness.

livingthegoodlife · 09/11/2019 21:43

Awful. Feel really sorry for both the mum and the child.i once had only 3 turn up out of 10 to my DS 4th party so sort of know how she feels.

Flicketyflack · 09/11/2019 21:45

Oh the joys of parenting Angry

Sorry to hear people have been so rude and i hope DN had a lovely Birthday.

Manners cost nothing Thanks

Doesitevenmatternow · 09/11/2019 22:06

Awhhhh. Your poor little niece. Was she upset?

Kitsandkids · 09/11/2019 22:27

The first year I had my foster kids I did a whole class party when the first birthday occurred. Class of about 25, plus I specifically said on the invites that siblings were welcome but to let me know. I was chasing up people in the playground on the Friday before the weekend party and loads were still saying ‘oh I’m not sure yet.’ In the end I think 4 classmates came, with a couple of siblings plus we had my 2 foster kids and a niece and nephew so we had ‘enough’ but I’d done loads of party bags and food and was annoyed. A couple of months later when the next birthday came up I did a smaller party and only invited about 7 classmates. It was still a faff to get replies and a couple didn’t turn up. The next year I couldn’t face parties at all and since then we’ve either only done family things or invited kids whose parents I know really well so I could find out for definite if they could come or not!

BellatrixLestat · 09/11/2019 22:31

Oh that's sad. And so unbelievably rude of the parents. And yes I agree manners go out of the window. All this stuff has happened at my DCs parties:

  • people say they're coming and don't show up
  • people don't RSVP and just turn up on the day
  • people let you down at the very last minute

The worst one for me is just not responding to the invite at all. How hard is it to write a text and say 'sorry xxx can't make it'

Bubbinsmakesthree · 09/11/2019 22:33

So do you mean 10 parents RSVPed saying yes then just didn’t show up? If so that is incredibly rude!

We’ve hosted and been to numerous all-class parties and in general there’s been a good turn out and the people who say they’ll be there are generally there, barring unexpected emergencies etc.

Original poster
ScottishJo31 · 10/11/2019 09:08

Yes, the majority just didn’t show no message... nothing! A couple of cancellations on the day and one or two didn’t respond at all! Niece was ok, a little upset but two of her closest friends were there so she happily played with them.

OP posts:
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