My boyfriend and I (both mid 30s) have been together around 18 months. We live together and each have children from previous relationships. We are going through a rough patch (unplanned pregnancy and deciding to terminate the pregnancy).
I’m really beginning to wonder how much I and our relationship mean to him. A couple of months ago, I saw on Instagram that he’d been liking pictures of girls he knows posing sexily in underwear and bikinis (some live literally down the road and he has contact with them on a fairly frequent basis). I asked him why he had liked them and he said they’re nice pictures. I told him it made me uncomfortable because he knows them personally and he said it didn’t mean anything because he’s known them for years. Then, a couple of weeks ago, he was talking about his workmates, telling me that a lot of them fancy me and he just has to accept it. He then went on to tell me how his friends wife is a very attractive lady, like seriously attractive. Again, I told him I was uncomfortable about that because it’s someone he knows personally and he had a go at me saying that you’re allowed to say that someone’s good looking and it’s doesn’t mean he’s going to sit with her at social occasions thinking how much he wants to sleep with her. Then, last night, he told me he wanted us to go to the pub as some people wanted to meet me. When I asked who, he told me it was his ex girlfriends sister and best friend. I said I didn’t want to and tried to explain why...I’ve got anxiety issues about his ex as he was sleeping with her for the first four months of our relationship, something he denied even after she went to the trouble of finding me and telling me. He only confessed around eight months into our relationship when one of his best friends told me. He went absolutely mad at me telling me I’m a controlling c**t and that he was friends with them before he met me. I can’t understand why he wants them in his life when the two girls and his ex are nearly always together and it makes me feel really upset to think of them together (she’s not the mother of his child and they were only together a year).
My boyfriend keeps telling me I’m a control freak and that I’m trying to control his life and drive a wedge between him and his friends. I think that I’m well within my right to voice my feelings and that he should take them into consideration as I’ve done the same for him and didn’t make a fuss over it.