To tell friend that I’m not interested in her stories anymore?

[HouseCoatAndPopSocks]

I met colleague 6 years ago, she was internet dating back then and constantly coming to work with hilarious stories of these disastrous dates. It was funny to be fair and she told the stories so well and found it as funny as the rest of us did.

I moved jobs and lost contact but then, 3 years later we ended up working together again. She was still dating and still full of hilarious stories about various men she’d met. We became friends and she would ring me to update me on various funny situations. But then it all got a bit not quite right. The men she was dating were obvious losers from the start but worse than that, a lot of them seemed dangerous, tales of mad outbursts, stalking, violence, liars ... I started telling her she should be careful but she continued telling stories as though she could only see the funny side. One time she decided to go on a camping trip with a man she hadn’t even met yet, the trip would be the first meeting. I warned her against it but she went anyway. Again, came back with ridiculous stories ...

But then it got really stupid. She started dating a married man ... from the start there were stories of him hurling racist abuse out of his car window, she found out he had a previous history of beating up his wife and assaulting a police officer ... I told her it wasn’t funny anymore and it was getting dangerous. Within a month he left his wife, moved in with her and her teenage daughter (??!!) and soon afterwards he beat her up, she ended up being arrested for assault (as he was sober, she was drunk, she hit him with a glass and cut his head, police believed his version as she was hammered). She was covered in cuts and bruises whilst her daughter sat screaming at the bottom of the stairs. He left that night and she didn’t see him again. So I told her it had to stop now, it wasn’t funny anymore.

Then the latest one is a bloke who appears to be some kind of gangster, sells cocaine and controls her every move. She rang me up saying she was locked in the house and it was hilarious.

I can’t listen to it anymore. It’s not funny, she won’t take advice and I spend too much time wondering if she’ll be found dead the next morning.

AIBU to break off the friendship completely?

She’s making up stories & you believe them.

Sounds a bit Walter Mitty to me. I'd reckon she liked the attention she got from telling her 'hilarious' stories of internet dating so much, that she's become a bit addicted to that attention. But she needs to keeping upping the drama to keep people interested. DO these dates actually happen? Possibly, but not as she describes them.

Of course it could all be true, much in the manner laid out by @CSIblonde.

I'd be inclined to be very blunt. "You are either constantly putting yourself in harm's way, or making stuff up for the attention. Both possibilities suggest you have some serious self-esteem issues and you really really need to get some help. And either way, I don't want to hear about it at all any more. I will not be your captive audience to your tales of being abused, alternatively I have no interest in your lies. Get some help."

And then distance yourself.

They definately happened as she would secretly film these guys and send me videos during dates. She once took a full nude frontal of a guy and passed it around the office at work for everyone to laugh at. Another guy she took a close up on his penis and passed that around

Wtaf...did no one inform the police? That's disgusting behaviour.

Fuck, that's grim. Passing around proof, I'd still say she's revelling in the attention, and putting herself in harm's way to keep that attention coming . But accepting this behaviour is coming from somewhere (re CSIblonde's "Maybe she's had a rough past or childhood & humour was her coping strategy").

She needs some serious help. But that is NOT your responsibility, it is hers. I'd be telling her I find her behaviour disturbing and her insisting on telling me all about it made me think being her captive audience was encouraging her to put herself in harm's way; and I was not going to listen to her any more, so please don't talk to me about all this again.

"AIBU to break off the friendship completely?"
No, YANBU. I actually think it's in her best interests if no-one listens to her tales. Yes the rest of the office are spurring her on, but maybe even one person making it clear that they won't, might filter through eventually.