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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you buy your Mum an eternity ring?

60 replies

PinkBalloon123 · 09/11/2019 11:01

If they were the only style she likes and she's always wanted a really lovely diamond ring?! Is it really weird? Around £700?

OP posts:
littlehappyhippo · 09/11/2019 23:18

@PinkBalloon123

It's very odd to buy an eternity ring for ANYone other than your spouse.

It's almost always given to a wife (by her husband,) on a significant anniversary that they are celebrating

Never heard of anyone buying it for their mother or nan before.

Very strange.

The parallel world of mumsnet strikes again! Wink

littlehappyhippo · 09/11/2019 23:20

@Justapatchofgrass

Yes, it is sometimes also given to a wife (by her husband) when they have their first child.

Never known an Eternity ring given in any other fashion, than spouse to spouse. Ever.

littlehappyhippo · 09/11/2019 23:22

@PinkBalloon123

Get your mother a diamond ring by all means.

Don't call it (or present it) as an Eternity Ring. That's just every kind of weird.

sam221 · 10/11/2019 00:06

Not sure why people are saying its weird, I think you should buy it for mum! I mean I bought one for myself in my 20s just because I like it! Who cares about these supposed old fashioned notional ideas, its a piece of jewellery that you will purchase with love-you need no better reason.

littlehappyhippo · 10/11/2019 00:19

@sam221

People are saying it's weird, because it's weird.

Why not buy your dad a wedding ring, and your sister an engagement ring huh?

You wouldn't would you? Why? Because it's weird. And people would think you were batshit if you did it!

An ETERNITY ring is meant for a man to give to his WIFE.

Not that hard to understand, and it's not 'an old fashioned notional idea.' It's what people do. They buy an eternity ring for their SPOUSE, not their mother.

Buy your mother a ring by all means - a diamond one if you want - but don't call it an Eternity ring, because it's not an Eternity ring. Not unless you're giving it to your spouse. That's just a fact.

ActualHornist · 10/11/2019 00:30

I’d love to be able to treat my mum to something like that. What a lovely idea Smile

sam221 · 10/11/2019 00:31

It's a piece of jewellery, I am not married and never will be-so should people like me never own a eternity ring?
I have given eternity ring to members of my family for special birthdays, they all love it.
Who exactly decided that only married people could wear them? The jeweller in the store seemed happy enough to take my money? They probably must missed the memo that were breaking the law!!!
I can assure you im not 'batshit' but I enjoy giving, people like receiving and all is good with the world.
Honestly Op buy it and give it, your mother will love it!

1300cakes · 10/11/2019 00:35

An ETERNITY ring is meant for a man to give to his WIFE.

Actually an eternity ring is a ring that has small diamonds or similar in one row all the way around the ring. It refers to the style.

Laughing at the idea that you can only buy this style of ring if you are a man who is married. Do you have to show your penis and marriage certificate at the check out?

steff13 · 10/11/2019 00:36

Eternity rings symbolize everlasting love. I think that could be suitable for lots of different relationships. 🤷 Go for it, OP

1300cakes · 10/11/2019 00:37

Personally though I prefer the half or 3/4 eternity style, as they are easier to resize.

MsPotterPepper · 10/11/2019 00:54

£700?! Just get a second hand one, it'll be exactly the same but a third of the cost (diamonds are not worth much at all really).

Original poster
PinkBalloon123 · 10/11/2019 08:50

It won't be presented to her as an eternity ring as I said, to me and to Mum it's just a diamond ring. Thanks to all posters who have been nice about it x

OP posts:
Tableclothing · 10/11/2019 09:02

The concept of the diamond eternity ring was created in the 1960s by diamond merchant De Beers.[5][6] American investigative journalist Edward Jay Epstein stated that at the time the company had a secret agreement with the Soviet Union which, in return for the creation of a "single channel" controlling the world's supply of diamonds, 'required' the purchase of 90-95% of the uncut gem diamonds produced by Russia.[6] The prevailing fashion at the time, particularly for engagement rings, was for them to be set with a single, large diamond. The Soviet gems, however, were small, often less than 0.25 carats.[5] To avoid stockpiling, De Beers embarked on a campaign of promotion of jewelry containing a number of small diamonds culminating in the eternity ring, which was aimed at older, married women.[5] One campaign slogan aimed at husbands was, "She married you for richer or poorer. Let her know how it’s going."[7]

^^ What Wikipedia says about eternity rings. OP, it sounds like your mum will love it, and I don't think you need to live your life according to a 1960s diamond merchant's rules.

fedup21 · 10/11/2019 09:06

She's not married, she isn't getting married, Dad isn't proposing

She’s with your dad but they’re not married, is that right?

Does he not want to buy her a ring?

EntropyRising · 10/11/2019 09:09

Totally unorthodox, but a lovely sentiment. Do it!

misspiggy19 · 10/11/2019 09:11

I think eternity rings are naff

thepeopleversuswork · 10/11/2019 09:14

These people saying it’s “weird”... jeez
The whole idea of giving rings is a load of mumbo jumbo anyway,
The OP loves her mum and wants to acknowledge this through a gift which shows her devotion. Why is this any weirder than giving it to a spouse?

dottiedodah · 10/11/2019 09:30

Why Not? I think its a great idea personally .I love my Eternity ring and to me it resembles enduring love .I am sure she will be thrilled TBH !

Original poster
PinkBalloon123 · 06/12/2019 18:42

Purchased today... she's delighted 😊

OP posts:
Sparklyring · 06/12/2019 19:52

What did you go for??

Whatsername177 · 06/12/2019 19:59

Oooh picture please! I think it's a lovely idea. My d-aunt and MIL have both bought themselves huge diamond solitaires. My d-aunt is widowed. She wanted the ring. MIL inherited and upgraded her engagement ring. It makes them happy. You get one life - why the fork not?!

ElloBrian · 06/12/2019 20:17

It is a style of ring, not a social protocol. There are some right Hyacinth Buckets on this thread 😂

thistimelastweek · 06/12/2019 20:21

FFS, it's a bit of jewellery not a contract.
But the one she wants!

Original poster
PinkBalloon123 · 06/12/2019 20:40

We didn't get the one I had in mind as it looked so much better online than in store, we were browsing somewhere else and she just gasped and said "that's it, that's exactly what I want the style size everything!" a white gold ring with eleven elegant little diamonds on the top half. So she tried it on, I bought it then we were walking down the road and looked at the receipt and it said... wedding ring! "Oh shit" I said, "I'm not fussed really but does that bother you?!" she doesn't give a shit. A ring is just a ring to us and she's my lovely Mum who deserves something she's always wanted. We'll probably just not mention the 'wedding' description if anyone ever asks... which they won't as she wants it on her right hand anyway!

OP posts:
User67836 · 06/12/2019 21:34

I just wanted to say it’s a lovely idea and I’d be really touch if any of my children did this for me.

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