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Original poster

Why do people think it is disrespectful to not wear a poppy?

117 replies

Lemongrasssugar · 09/11/2019 08:23

I understand the sacrifice and did have great relatives that were in the wars. I also have worn poppies in the past.
But why is it such a big deal if someone doesnt wear one? How does it lack respect?
Its not as of the dead are benefiting from us wearing the poppy?
As a symbol of remembrance it is fine but to impose and shame people for not wearing one sounds like some kind of religious cult.

OP posts:
Steamfan · 09/11/2019 10:00

All that about leaves pointing in the "Right" direction is nonsense - another FB scam. I have done a lot for the RBL - in the past - but last year we did a couple of events, and there was a man dressed in a poppy outfit dancing around. I hated that, thought that was disrespectful. I've seen some bad press about certain RBL branches, and our local one has a paid organiser who couldn't organise a booze up in a brewery. I don't like Help for Heros either, and would much rather give to Soldiers off the Streets

etimram · 09/11/2019 10:09

I personally don't disrespect anyone who does not wear the poppy I'm extremely proud and thankful we live in a society where people have the freedom to make that choice.

The only hoo haar I know about pioot wearing was the news readers/BBC presenters fuss.

What does make me sad us how uptight more and more people seem to be about remembrance. We've turned into a very judgy society it would seem. So many more people seem to be offended and homd strong opinions by how other a choose to remember or not.
I have to remind myself to be thankful everyone has that's choice and not let it bother me.

JacksonPillock · 09/11/2019 10:10

It's not that us normal people get shamed for not wearing one, it's people in the public eye, and often those who actively opt out of wearing one.

Example: poppies are printed on all the football shirts premier league teams are wearing this weekend and some players choose to wear a shirt without one:

www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/premier-league/poppy-james-mcclean-matic-guardiola-klopp-remembrance-sunday-armistice-day-a9194266.html

Disfordarkchocolate · 09/11/2019 10:26

I don't wear one to support our armed forces, for me it's very much a mark of respect for those who have sacrificed for their country. Many veterans talk so movingly of the loss of their comrades and so often of their understanding that they were largely fighting people just like themselves.

MargotB7 · 09/11/2019 10:27

*squeekums

I don't think it is
I don't wear one
I also have no relatives connected to any war or armed service, no emotional attachment*

Maybe not but the soldiers were made to fight for the country so for everyone.

I don't judge anyone. I bought a ruler this year as I needed one. I have a little metal poppy from a previous year which I will try and find.

ReanimatedSGB · 09/11/2019 10:28

Various reasons (though plenty of people are still able to not get their undies in a bundle about stuff that isn't any of their business anyway.)
Some people who have family ties to the armed forces - especially if that includes a relative/ancestor who died in WWI or WWII - feel a bit personally wounded or attacked when other people actively refuse to wear poppies.
Some people are dumbfuck conformists who like to have something to rant about.
And, unfortunately, these days, poppy fetishism is a thing for poxy little fascists and Yaxley-Lennon fans - not wearing one means you reject their armchair imperialism, misogyny and white supremacy. Which makes them cross.

TBH now that WWI has literally all but passed from living memory (and in about another 40 years, so will WWII) the feelings around poppies and poppy-wearing have changed. When I was a kid (born in the mid 60s) the majority of people would have had a dad or an uncle or a granddad who had fought in one or the other of the wars - or would have been in the army themselves. It was a bit more 'real' to people then because it was not as long ago.
Now there are no more WWI veterans and not many WWII veterans, it's been a bit co-opted, both by nationalists and people with current links to the armed forces. Which is also why more people refuse to wear poppies - some now associate it with eg the illegal Iraq war and various questionable things done by the British Army in recent years.

daisypond · 09/11/2019 10:33

Seems to me that the gradual rise of the “compulsory” poppy is correlating with the rise of nationalism and jingoism and anger, and, despite the symbolism of remembrance of the war dead, it’s also a symbol of the things that cause war in the first place. Poppy shaming is part of that.

MintyMabel · 09/11/2019 10:36

They fought and died so that we don't have to. Buying a poppy once a year is hardly an excessive request.

Except we are still fighting.

“The red of the petals represents the blood of those who gave their lives, the black button in the middle is for the mourning of those who never welcomed their loved ones home and the green leaf shows the hope that the grass and crops growing after the war brings, and is positioned at the 11th hour on the clock.

Utter bollocks. It’s a poppy because poppies grew in the fields at Flanders. It’s that simple.

The British Legion who sell the dammed thing have made the statement “the only way to wear a poppy is with pride”

redchocolatebutton · 09/11/2019 10:44

I don't wear one because I don't agree with the cause it goes to.
I also don't think 'heroes' is the right term to describe people doing their job.

I find it shameful that the employers outsource basic care of their injured employers to a charity.

RB68 · 09/11/2019 10:46

It is meant for one Sunday, why we have to wear it for a month before and after is beyond me - I think it waters down the poignancy of it myself.

DippyAvocado · 09/11/2019 10:48

Sadly, I do feel there has been a rise in jingoism associated with the wearing of the poppy since it has been hijacked by some far-right groups which makes me more uncomfortable wearing one than it used to. No fault of the RBL though so I usually make a contribution. I also attend annual services of remembrance and haven't felt anyone judging me for not wearing one. Attending the service is my way of remembering.

daisypond · 09/11/2019 10:48

The red of the petals represents the blood of those who gave their lives, the black button in the middle is for the mourning of those who never welcomed their loved ones home and the green leaf shows the hope that the grass and crops growing after the war brings, and is positioned at the 11th hour on the clock.. Absolutely wrong and an incredible stupid thing to say. Why the poppy was adopted as a symbol has nothing to do with that. People spouting such ignorant nonsense makes me despair.

MockersthefeMANist · 09/11/2019 10:49

You do not buy a poppy. You make a donation and receive a poppy as a token of this.

Velveteenfruitbowl · 09/11/2019 10:52

Some people react badly because some people who don’t wear them do it as a political protest (and go on and on about it) which is just not ok. If anything, if you want to go on an anti war rant during a period of memorial you should wear one so that people realise that you aren’t disparaging the fallen. But if you don’t wear one and don’t get political about it no one will care. I’ve never worn one in my life. No one has ever commented.

SmileyGiraffe · 09/11/2019 10:53

I refuse to wear one. I've had pressure to do so and my response is thus

"Both my grandfathers fought and put their lives on the line for me to have freedom of choice. People feeling forced to act the same way is no different from "only following orders"

WorraLiberty · 09/11/2019 10:54

The red of the petals represents the blood of those who gave their lives, the black button in the middle is for the mourning of those who never welcomed their loved ones home and the green leaf shows the hope that the grass and crops growing after the war brings, and is positioned at the 11th hour on the clock..

I just Googled that ^^ and it was copied straight from the Liverpool Echo by the look of it.

However, it states it's just a theory.

MintyMabel · 09/11/2019 10:55

Maybe not but the soldiers were made to fight for the country so for everyone.

This is becoming less and less true. The Second World War was the last in which there was a credible threat to the U.K. One could perhaps argue the Falklands was defending our territory, but it was territory we stole in the first place and kept it for strategic reasons. The Iraq wars were largely about oil, and supporting the US to keep Israel quiet. Getting rid of a dictator we put there in the first place.

The Balkan wars had nothing to do with protecting the U.K. The conflict in Afghanistan was not to our benefit, far from it.

Whether or not we should have sent troops to these areas is a matter of opinion, but that they were fighting for us is untrue. They were fighting for the people overseas who’s lives were impacted. We don’t expect the people of Kuwait to wear a poppy. In the World Wars they were fighting for the people in the allied nations, we don’t berate them for not wearing a poppy.

Wear one, or don’t, but it isn’t anyone’s place to insist others should.

Likethebattle · 09/11/2019 10:57

The red of the petals represents the blood of those who gave their lives, the black button in the middle is for the mourning of those who never welcomed their loved ones home and the green leaf shows the hope that the grass and crops growing after the war brings, and is positioned at the 11th hour on the clock

Totally wrong (we don’t have a leaf on ours north of the border). It is down the the poppies which grew on the battlefields.

Halsall · 09/11/2019 10:57

Both my parents (one now dead) served in WW2. One of my grandfathers fought in WW1 and was involved in a famous incident of that terrible conflict.

I don’t wear a poppy and I think I’m doing OK on the ‘we will remember them’ front, thanks. I’m not going to forget in a hurry.

LaurieMarlow · 09/11/2019 10:59

They fought and died so that we don't have to. Buying a poppy once a year is hardly an excessive request.

No. But why do I have to honour them in one very prescribed, specific way?

It all seems rather dictatorial to me. The opposite of what they were fighting for.

MintyMabel · 09/11/2019 10:59

People spouting such ignorant nonsense makes me despair.

Especially when they are being all virtuous about wearing a poppy. You’d think they knew the reason it was the symbol of war.

LaurieMarlow · 09/11/2019 11:01

There isn’t one ‘right’ reading of the symbolism.

It can contain multiple meanings.

TSSDNCOP · 09/11/2019 11:02

In my life I have never heard anyone being forced to it shamed for not wearing a poppy.

But every year on MN the same old shit about jingoism is trotted out.

Wear one, don’t wear one, knit one, recycle one, have a white one or one in rainbow colours, go to a service or don’t.

The point, is that you have the freedoms to do those things because other people gave their lives. Rail against the stupidity (far too polite a word) of WW1, the questionable decisions around Iraq, feel sorrow for those who never came back and the people they left.

Iamnotagoddess · 09/11/2019 11:04

No it was not copied from the Liverpool Echo Hmm

It’s not a fact it’s a theory, and I quite like the symbolism of it.

Not sure why people have to be so nasty.

Symbolism of the Poppy was brought to the UK by a French lady 🤷‍♀️

BeardyButton · 09/11/2019 11:06

@churchandstate totally agreed. If it really meant lest we forget, i d wear it. It doesnt. To me it glorifies a particular sort of sacrifice. Not the sacrifice of those who were shot at dawn... Not the sacrifice of those who had no choice but to fight on the losing side. Only the sacrifice of those who fought and died for a cause we deem moral.