Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why do people think it is disrespectful to not wear a poppy?

117 replies

Lemongrasssugar · 09/11/2019 08:23

I understand the sacrifice and did have great relatives that were in the wars. I also have worn poppies in the past.
But why is it such a big deal if someone doesnt wear one? How does it lack respect?
Its not as of the dead are benefiting from us wearing the poppy?
As a symbol of remembrance it is fine but to impose and shame people for not wearing one sounds like some kind of religious cult.

OP posts:
chocolatemademefat · 09/11/2019 09:27

I think it’s a case of having respect. Some people want to be poppy shamed because it gives them the opportunity to spout about how the poppy glorifies war. Look at me - I wear my white poppy with pride. Yes look at you - no-one cares. I think it’s a personal choice - my uncle was killed at the age of 18 in the Second World War so I choose to wear one.

squeekums · 09/11/2019 09:34

I don't think it is
I don't wear one
I also have no relatives connected to any war or armed service, no emotional attachment
I cant say I'm a huge supporter of armed forces for many reasons (sexism and sex assaults, homophobia, religious ties and talk, plus a dislike of war and what it does to all sides) and it's perfectly easy to remember the fallen and not need a poppy to do so.
Support of these sort of days ends up becoming a bogan patriot 'im more respectful, have most ties to service men' pissing contest. Least it does here in aus and if you dare turn down someone selling poppies you get judged by those selling and those in earshot if they just bought as unpatriotic or unaustralian.

Aderyn19 · 09/11/2019 09:35

I do think it's disrespectful not to wear one or not to donate money (if you are not on the bones of your arse poor). We can only live as we do because of the things those people did for us. I think it's right that we acknowledge this publicly. Also the govt is so bad at supporting them and do the money is really needed.
I wouldn't say anything to a person though, because ultimately those wars were fought for freedom, even the freedom to have opinions I personally don't share.

adaline · 09/11/2019 09:36

Because some people think wearing a plastic/paper flower somehow means you're more respectful and caring than those who don't.

adaline · 09/11/2019 09:38

@aderyn why do you think wearing a poppy makes you more respectful than anyone else?

I don't support the British Legion therefore I choose not to donate to them and wear their poppies. Many people have similar views - they have a pretty colourful history and are not just about remembering the dead.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 09/11/2019 09:38

Where are all theses people that shame you for not wearing a poppy?

I don’t wear a poppy, never have and nobody has ever said or done anything. I have nothing against the poppy I just don’t like wearing them or pin badges. I do put £5 in the poppy collection at the supermarket, like I do with lots of charity boxes but I never want the Poppy/badge etc they offer you.

Iamnotagoddess · 09/11/2019 09:40

@squeekums

The Royal Navy are one of the most diverse employers in the UK and employ the highest amount of women.

Sexism and homophobia is not tolerated in the armed forces anymore.

You are very out of date with your views.

Puzzledbyart · 09/11/2019 09:40

I was - not shamed, but rather asked in an unpleasant tone - why I am not wearing a poppy. By a stranger (in the waiting room in GP surgery). I guess they just asked this after hearing my accent (I am foreign) and took it as a sign of "not integrating" into the society.

PurpleDaisies · 09/11/2019 09:40

They fought and died so that we don't have to. Buying a poppy once a year is hardly an excessive request.

Who is “requesting” it?

churchandstate · 09/11/2019 09:41

I wouldn't say anything to a person though, because ultimately those wars were fought for freedom, even the freedom to have opinions I personally don't share.

Those wars were fought for money, like virtually all wars. I respect the people who fought and died in them, but I believe the whole “freedom” narrative to be extremely naive.

Littlemeadow123 · 09/11/2019 09:43

A lot of hypocritical statements on here. People are saying that they don't like being judged or called disrespectful for not wearing a poppy, and then in the same post saying that people who wear one are rude, arrogant, big headed and only interested in turning it into a pissing contest. That is judgemental too!

If you don't feel the need to wear a poppy to remember the fallen, then fair enough. I'm not going to judge you for that. But what worries me is that people are startig to forget. I've met quite a few people who don't even know when world war one was, how long it lasted, how catastrophic it was etc.

PurpleDaisies · 09/11/2019 09:44

It’s taught in history little.

PurpleDaisies · 09/11/2019 09:45

And poppy wearing has nothing at all to do with knowledge of what happened in the world wars.

charactersonclothesaretrashy · 09/11/2019 09:47

I'm Not British and so have never worn a poppy. They are not used where I'm from. The de have the opportunity to buy them at school though

ilovetofu · 09/11/2019 09:49

No poppy shaming here. But why in this day & age do they have them be made of bloody plastic?!

RedSheep73 · 09/11/2019 09:50

If you went to a Remembrance day service without one, that would be a bit weird, but the rest of the time it's a personal choice, surely. Myself, I always find I've lost my poppy within half an hour of pinning it on!

Beveren · 09/11/2019 09:50

I'm 46. In my whole life I've never known anyone have a fit about someone else in their lives not wearing a poppy.

Really? Have you never seen the massive fuss the right wing press make if someone turns up on TV or goes to an official event without one?

PurpleDaisies · 09/11/2019 09:50

If you went to a Remembrance day service without one, that would be a bit weird

Why?

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 09/11/2019 09:51

@PurpleDaisies it wasn't on my secondary school syllabus. The blitz and evacuation was taught at primary but that might be been because of where we are geographically.

It might be a lot more common now. I don't understand why we didn't cover it.

TheQueef · 09/11/2019 09:53

I think it was last year our town mayor wore a white poppy to the remembrance service.

Likethebattle · 09/11/2019 09:53

It’s poppy Scotland here and our poppy is a different shape and comes without a leaf. I used to think the ones with the leaf were just fancy ones for people on telly as a child lol. Is it true the leave should point to ‘11 o’clock’?

Iamnotagoddess · 09/11/2019 09:55

@Likethebattle

Yes.

TheQueef · 09/11/2019 09:56

11am on the 11/11 Like
You can knit one of buy t crochet ones, wear a purple one for fallen animals etc.

Beveren · 09/11/2019 09:56

I do have a bit of an issue with the mantra that is always trotted out along the lines that it is to remember people who died to save us and our country. Whilst that is true of WW2, these days we are also remembering conflicts like the Falklands, Afghanistan and Iraq, when the reality is that we were never remotely in danger of invasion. Indeed, arguably the fact that we had military in Iraq actively put us in danger from retaliation in the UK.

Iamnotagoddess · 09/11/2019 10:00

The red of the petals represents the blood of those who gave their lives, the black button in the middle is for the mourning of those who never welcomed their loved ones home and the green leaf shows the hope that the grass and crops growing after the war brings, and is positioned at the 11th hour on the clock.