To ask my narcissistic mother to come after we have opened presents Christmas Day ?

[gringina]

My mum has told me she isn't buying presents this year. She is addicted to tv shopping channels , and her home is a hoarders delight. The problem will be that everything we open on Christmas morning , will be criticised . She will tell us she could have got it cheaper, better, in every colour, from the shopping channel, and it'll be awkward. How can I ask her politely to come after present opening ?

Suggest she come for Christmas dinner? So a bit later on.
You'll expect her around one. Dont mention the pressies at all.

Don't be too polite - she clearly isn't being too polite with her mean remarks. If she is a genuine narcissist then whatever you say will be wrong, so why not just tell her the truth? Being firm isn't the same as being rude. Just give her a time to come, and if she says she will come earlier, say no, and tell her why. My DM is a great one for saying 'how much did you pay for X?' and when I tell her, she'll bring out a cutting from the local newspaper with an advert for it £1 cheaper somewhere else. Then look at me as if I've been an idiot. Infuriating.

Invite her round on Boxing Day

It’s your home, you are the host, you decide what time she comes, not her! As 70switch, give her a time like 1pm and stick to it.

Does she have form for rocking up early on Xmas day?

Open your presents on Christmas Eve like they do in Germany.

Um, why the need to be polite to someone who isn't polite to you?

Maybe being rather rude would make her stop and think.

YABU to ask her to come round at all.

My kids rip them open as soon as they wake up. So just get up and open presents with a cuppa in your PJ's. I hate it when negative people who think it's always about the minimum and cheapest you need make comments . My mum's abit like it with things. Just call her a cheap skate or a bah humbug lol

I don't know if I'd ask politely. I think I'd tell her exactly why she can't come for present opening.

@Piffle11 my mum's the same and goes pffff how much. I think oh feck off we are not in debt and can afford it so what's the issue! X

Don't be polite.

Say that this year your family wants to enjoy present opening at Christmas time, and to this end she is not invited for that part of the day, she can come at x time, if she wants to come.

Thank you! Have to invite her, she isnt well . But I feel better about asking her to come later. It's a shame though, all her grandchildren will be there , and great grandson , she doesn't know how lucky she is !

@Alsohuman why should they completely break with tradition and change their whole christmas to not offend their rude mother? Some people are total pushovers!
Op, tell your mother to come at a time which suits you and don’t answer the door beforehand. Don’t allow her to sour your christmas morning.

It was only a suggestion. Why the aggression?

Op its all bull this I can get it 1.00 cheaper! Take no notice .By the time she has rung a premium rate number and paid delivery lol she will be worse off!! My mum would drive 10 miles if she could get a pound off something..errr hang on mother this 1.00 saving..how much did it cost you in fuel to get there? or how much extra time have you wasted? would be my reply and it has been in the past! And you could reminder her that a bargain is only a bargain if you actually need the item you have purchased!! I give up with my money saving mum and just laugh to myself now! If she is happy I leave her too it and take no notice of her "bargain tips!" at all anymore!I think the shopping channels are all false economy with the extra hidden charges they apply. Just keep smiling and shaking your head don;t get upset over this.

If she isn't told prices and sources, she can't compare, can she?

Where did you get that? The North Pole, mother.

How much did you pay for that? Santa brought it so I don't know. Why woukd you ask that?!

That present is a rubbish brand! It's Christmas Day and that present is not for you, so why would you say that?

Positive comments only, thank you.

‘You could get it cheaper?’

Great you can buy all the gifts next year! Thank you!

I would delay her until just before lunch. Tell her you have other plans first thing but you’ll be pleased to see her at 12/1.

@NearlyGranny has it. Deflect, no info, change the subject. It’s unbelievably rude to ask how much something cost when it's been given as a present, anyway.