To say that youngest siblings (of larger families) are worse than only children

[Lemonsqueasy]

This is lighthearted, and, disclaimer, I'm an only child. Was just struggling to think of any only children I know who actually fit the spoilt, selfish stereotype.
I do, however, know three examples of people who are the youngest of 4 or 5 and are, although v intelligent and charismatic, quite self centred and immature. Interested to know anyone else's experience with these two demographics.

My friend has 11 children. Every single one is polite. Kind. Caring. Loving.

The biggest thing is they all share incredibly well. I’ve known her nearly 10 years and not once have I ever witnessed an argument down to sharing.

My friend is always tired. Yet she parents her kids. That’s her full time job. The woman hardly sleeps either. She adores being a mother. It’s in her bones.

Its our middle child that’s spoilt

She knows she is...which I suppose is a positive and partly its because she has a chronic condition

Ds2 is adorable and his siblings firmly believe he gets away with blue murder...he doesn’t, its just that he is no trouble and unlike his siblings realises that its not what you say, its the way you say it

I think it's a mix of nature and nurture.

My H is the second eldest of four. He says his parents were strict with the first two and much less so with the younger two. He thinks they ran low on energy and were more relaxed parents by then. I didn't know any of them until they were adults but the younger two seemed much more favoured/indulged and had a real sense of "I'm special" about them. The youngest didn't leave home until he was 37 and that was only when PIL bought him a house outright. He still took his shirts back for MIL to iron. However, H's older sister is also lazy and entitled despite being less spoilt.

I have one sister, two years younger. She has always been mums "baby" though she's now in her 40s. Much more indulged. BUT I think innate personality was responsible too. I was/am very stoical and placid. My sister was a very clingy child who demanded mum carry her everywhere. My mum did say if she'd been born first she would have had a much bigger age gap between children as sis "needed her more".

Well I'm the youngest of three.
I'm not spoiled.
My older sister resented me for most of my childhood. My parents struggled as I didn't "fit in" with my older siblings and I regularly felt like a bit of an afterthought.
I was babied in the more negative sense. It was often assumed I'd be the one causing trouble or unable to cope when I was fine and didn't want the interference.
Of course I still found things like starting a new school scary, but it was unacknowledged as "well the other two went before, you'll be fine" which would have been ok had my older siblings been looking out for me in any way. Which they weren't.
We were a very dysfunctional group of siblings, and have limited contact as adults.

Sorry, this was meant to be light-hearted!

Please fuck off with your generalising. I know you intended this to be lighthearted, but it's no more lighthearted than if you said "all red haired kids are spoiled". And yes, I know you are only child. That's no excuse.

Thinking of my own children... I only have two, ten years apart.

Youngest has been more spoilt for various reasons - longed for baby after secondary infertility, big brother also "looks after" her, we had much more money when she was born compared to a decade before, more relaxed/less strict parenting etc. She is quite demanding and we often refer to her as a "madam". Though she's also very kind and caring, likes to share, thinks of people's feelings, likes to do things for herself etc.

Elder child is more selfish and entitled (has good points too of course! And is also on the spectrum which partly accounts for how he is I think. )

Youngest of six and definately not true.

All the most spoilt, self centered people I know are without exception, male and the youngest child of 3+. However i do also know sone absolutely lovely men who are youngest of 3+.
So basically, its not a guarantee but there might be something about the dynamic that in certain families just doesnt go well.
My DPs brother is youngest of 3 and is incredibly self centered and spoilt, due to years of coddling. He is no longer being coddled by his family (Just by his wife ) and gets most put out about it.

I'm the youngest of four, with a fairly inflexible and dogmatic mother.

Eldest brother was the 'ill' one. Quiet, trouble free. Now a still unwell rampant misogynist.

Eldest sister was the 'wild child' (by my parents standards). Now in a high-performing career.

Next sister the 'neurotic child' (due to traumatic incident when young). Now an incredibly bossy adult.

Then me. Inheriting all the rules they made up for the other three, even though I never misbehaved, taking all the pass me downs, highest performing academically, generous. Quite arrogant, though not groundlessly.

I know you said lighthearted, but it's such a bore to hear of the youngest being spoiled all the time. It's mainly just the perception of older siblings that parents adjusting to the younger child is somehow unfair, not knowing that the same was once done for them.

I'm friends with mostly eldest or only children, and they're a real spectrum of people.

I’m the eldest, by 10 years.

My youngest siblings are fucking unbearable. They’re identical twins so have been lauded as something special their entire fucking lives, they are unbelievably lazy, entitled and spoilt as fuck.

Ya youngest of 6, very spoilt and protected. I struggle with adult life

Having said that, my other two siblings are about half as a bad as the youngest two.

As the eldest, I was “expected” to understand that I had to go without (as in basics, like a coat in winter and shoes without holes in) as the younger ones were more important.

Funnily enough I have a different Dad to the others, my mother was emotionally and mentally abusive to me, I often think she wishes I didn’t exist (well I don’t now, as we’ve been NC for two decades) and can never understand why she insisted on completely alienating me from my Dad rather than letting me go and live there when she quite clearly didn’t like me very much.

Although I did leave home when I turned 16, and am by far the most resilient, independent and successful one of the bunch.

YANBU!

As an only child i love hearing about sibling relationships!

@Throckmorton sorry to offend you - if youngest siblings were a bullied group then your point would be valid.

@Joerev she sounds amazing! I have a similar aunt - her kids have all developed fantastic artistic skills too.

My family is made up of lots of smaller families.

In each dynamic there is a difficult child or a favoured one, but it isn't always the youngest

Both my sister and I agree that our other sister, the eldest, is a horrific adult, a selfish high maintenance, bully.

Equally, one of my cousins the youngest, does as he likes and always has had a very good job at a famous firm that he was fucking lucky to get to begin with and jacked it in because he's a lazy fuck "they just didn't appreciate him" simpered Aunt

In another family unit, I have never seen a child as openly favoured as the middle child of one of my other Aunts, to the extent it was widely spoken of by extended family.

I think it depends on the mix of sexes and the age gaps.

Hmmm i get you somewhat.

Me and DP are both the youngest of 3 and have 3 ourselves.

I am the most mature and responsible of my 3 siblings, I'm the one everyone relies on and who bails everyone out.

DP is the golden child, was a very naughty child and teen but is the most doting of the 3 on his parents now.

Our youngest is a bit of a menace, she is hilariously funny and charismatic but is the one who never tidies, often tantrums etc honestly i think we babied her more than the others when she was younger. The other 2 seemed older at the same ages as we had a younger one to deal with, however we are working on correcting it.

So i noth agree and disagree witb you as i think it all depends on parenting, obviously us and DPs parents failed in treating all the kids the same in a way my parents didn't (my parents neglected us all equally but thats another thread altogether)

Honestly? It depends on the family although I probably do know more "spoilt" youngests overall. That doesn't mean they're not lovely, although a couple are a bit bratty. A pair of sisters I know are both pretty babied, despite being in their 30s. The younger one is especially spoilt because she's "frail". She's actually a fairly demanding steel magnolia. I know quite a few families that are pretty even with how they treated their DC. One of my friends favours her eldest- he's the cutest for instagram. It worries me.

I've noticed that it's often the DMs favourite who becomes the spoilt/golden child overall. Both my parents had a sibling who was their DMs preferred. I'm an only and nearly all the onlies I know are fab and unspoilt.

My 14 year old is the youngest of five and he’s the absolute total opposite of what you describe.

My eldest (24) feels like an only child as there is an 18 year gap between her and her two sisters. She’s is your stereo typical only child. Where as my other two, 6 & 3, the 6 year old is a mother hen and the 3 year old the class clown but very loving. I know my youngest will never leave the home as she hangs of me and her dad!

Well I disagree but then I am one. My brother (no.3) is the spoilt brat who can do no wrong in our family. He was born quite soon after my parents lost a child though, so we think that's why.

I know 3 only kids and yes they are spoiled. Not really a surprise as parents can invest more time , energy and money on them. My youngest sister is sweet and kind but definitely was babied more and allowed to get away with more than me. I think by child no.4 my parents had mellowed.

I don't really know any only children but there are several families within the wider family, where one child is younger by around ten years or so. Sad to say, in every one of those cases, the youngest 'child', has grown up to be very spoilt and selfish - out of the four such youngest children, three have been responsible for awful divisions within the family as a whole due to their actions and belief that they are somehow more special than anybody else. Particularly sad when you consider that they are all adults, the youngest being in their sixties!

In my experience it's the oldest child who is spoilt. Once the parents get to number 3 or 4 they're bored already.

Two sisters then a boy is not a great dynamic often ends up a little doted on emperor

I know a few only children, and they're very self-confident, have high self esteem.