To not want gifts?

[ps1991]

It’s my baby’s first Christmas and my mum is going crazy buying every toy she can find for him. I’ve tried telling her multiple times to stop because we don’t have room but she keeps just putting ‘lol’ when she tells me she’s bought more. We only see each other a couple of times a year and we have no plans to see her over Christmas (her own fault) and yet she keeps buying. To make matters worse she is a heavy smoker so I really won’t want the baby playing with the ones that have absorbed all the smell! How can I tell her to stop!

I guess you could either tell her that her gifts will be going straight to a charity shop unless she takes them home to keep at her house. I think though you would have to work hard to make her believe you actually would take them to a charity shop.

We have had gifts from her before that have been left around her house and had food stains on them etc before being wrapped which sadly we have just got rid of as soon as we could. Leaving them with her isn’t an option because we don’t see her, and when we do we try not to meet her at home.

Its annoying shes not taking you seriously. You're going to have to take the hardline and say she either needs to keep some at her house, or some toys are going to have to be given away/or go into storage.

All other grandparents have respected what we’ve said and have only bought 3-4 items. I don’t know why it’s so hard for her! His birthday is in January too so we’re just going to have it all over again!

You told her. Now donate everything you don't want to a local 1 o'clock club, nursery, toy libraries would accept them too. Our GP has a box in a waiting room. If you will receive them just before Christmas, I imagine food banks might be happy to give them to families who can't afford food let alone toys. Couple of phone calls will sort it out.

If you don't see her or go round to hers, how does she get the presents to you? Your best bet is always not to let them actually cross over your doorstep if at all possible. Just say 'I'm sorry you bought all those things that we don't have room for. We won't be taking them home.' And keep repeating. Do not physically touch the bags, let alone pick anything up.

I guess if she's bringing them to your house, you either need to stop her before she comes into the house: "I'm sorry you bought all those things that we don't have room for. You'll need to leave them in your car." Or "I'm sorry you bought all those things that we don't have room for. Shall I find a black bin liner to make it easier for you to take them to the charity shop on your way home? Or did you keep the receipts? It's fine to return them all."

Be ruthless now or it will only get worse.

I don’t know how she plans to get them here. That’s one of my problems with it. We have said we won’t be visiting over Christmas because we don’t want to spend his first christen travelling (2hour drive) and she doesn’t drive so if she wants to go anywhere she gets lifts from family members. So she keeps buying but has no way of them getting to us.

Well, if she has no way of getting the presents to you then the problem is solved. Don't go to hers to collect and tell her if she turns up with them on your doorstep you won't let her in.