To ask this of my family at Christmas...

[IMissMargaritas]

To stop buying us presents!

I know. I sound spoiled and am totally expecting to be told IABU. I’m just sick to the teeth of the total tat we get sent every year, from extended family who seem to only buy us anything because they ‘have’ to.

Case and point my aunt and uncle last year....got me a flavoured smackers lip balm set and my DP football shot glasses. A) I am 32 and B) my DP is a tee-total rugby fan. They know this 😂

Would I be unreasonable to send out a message to extended family and ask them not to give us gifts this year? My DP and I had our first baby a few months ago, and I really can’t be sparing the extra £60-£100 it costs buying every single family member who buys us a gift one too. That’s with only spending £5-£10 on each person! FWIW I don’t usually go overboard on gifts....it’ll be boxes of chocolates or some small local handmade wares. Little things ya know?

It’s tricky with the arrival of our little one....I know people will want to buy her something. I just can’t deal with a mountain of crap in our house that I can’t re-gift and will end up throwing away still in the packaging.

My mom says it’s a bad idea, as it assumes people will be sending us gifts and it’s incredibly ungrateful when they do.

Any ideas on how to tackle this? Totally expecting to be told IABU here....

It's better to tell people you are not doing gifts.

Just message everyone to the effect that now you are parents you will not be wasting time and money buying everyone gifts and would appreciate it if all relatives did the same.

Tell them now. People are already shopping. I have quite a few presents already.

'Just to let you all know we are not exchanging gifts this year so no need to buy us anything. Have a great christmas'

'We have decided to donate money to X charity this year instead of buying Xmas presents - therefore please don't buy anything for us. Have a great Christmas.'

They may be delighted, they may be pissed off - but either way you don't have to care what they think and you don't have to stress about shopping for them.

Now is a very good time, with the new baby. If you have relatives who have small children you can say you're buying for children only now you are in the same boat.

How about telling everyone that now you have a baby you’re thinking more about waste, plastic and the environment. You’re
determined to reduce the amount of stuff you buy and your carbon footprint in general and therefore you won’t be doing presents, you’re sure they understand too.

It was our daughter's first Christmas last year, we sent a message saying that we would only be doing immediate family gifts and guess what happened? No one paid the blindest bit of notice and we ended up with a houseful of gifts! This year we haven't said anything!! Good luck OP it's a difficult line to tread!!! Xx

Very tricky....I finished my Christmas shopping a few mths ago as I imagine lots of people do so I would maybe let them know for next year but far too late for this year.
I’d just say you can’t afford to send Christmas presents anymore so please feel free not to send any to you.

Totally understand why you don’t want a heap of crap, but why would you throw away gifts “still in their packaging”? You may not want to regift, fair enough, but surely you’d donate rather than chuck them straight into landfill?

I’d go with what Drum said.

Or, if you don’t think you can get around people wanting to buy for your baby, just switch to kids only from now on, no adult presents. We’ve done this for for years and it works for us. Saves the whole merry-go-round of wasted money and unwanted shite, plus changes the focus of Christmas back to what it should be - spending time together.

Its not a problem to do it but do it soon. Its not too late yet but getting close.

I agree its all gotten out of hand. Im trying to cut back.

I finished my Christmas shopping a few mths ago as I imagine lots of people do

Er, no. It's November 6th FFS. People are so crazy when it comes to Christmas.