Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To think 22 kids is...a lot ?

113 replies

GaaaaarlicBread · 07/11/2019 15:21

We were talking about The Radford Family at work today . They are currently pregnant with their 22nd child (one of their babies , I think their 15th, though was born sleeping). So they’ll have 21 in the house.
I am all for big families , my Dad is one of 8, I have 19 cousins , So my family is pretty big although my husband and I personally want 3 maximum. I’m one of 3 also.
Am I being unreasonable to think 22 kids is quite OTT?? Mixed views in our office , ranging from ‘money scroungers’ ‘she’s obsessed and controlling the husband’ and ‘she wants the attention’

Just want your opinions really ! I think it’s a bit cruel to the other children as I reckon they probably have to help more than they should , but not bothered about the money bit as they do own their own pie business so they do work !

OP posts:

RaquelWelch · 07/11/2019 16:22

Totallycluelessoverhere - Clearly social services and the police are not concerned about the number of children they have or her age when she first got pregnant so why should anybody else be.

Why should anyone care if 13 years olds are getting pregnant!? Are you serious? Would you think that if it was your daughter??

ScottishBlendTeaBags · 07/11/2019 16:25

The older 2 have definitely left home, the oldest one must be around 30 now himself and the next one down has 3(?) of her own kids.

I agree it will be interesting to see what happens when she can't have any more, I expect they will then go abroad for IVF etc (and then maybe have multiples!)

There's no way all those children are getting enough attention. It's way over what's considered a safe ratio for a child minder for example! (Though admittedly less than the ratio of most classrooms, but there must be at least 3 who are under 5.)

Lifecraft · 07/11/2019 16:25

Every society has a few people who are a bit batshit

A few??? I think that's a tad optimistic.

GrimDamnFanjo · 07/11/2019 16:26

I worry about her health, especially her pelvic floor...

obviously · 07/11/2019 16:26

Clearly social services and the police are not concerned about the number of children they have or her age when she first got pregnant so why should anybody else be.

Well maybe if the police/SS had been concerned about her getting pregnant to him at 13 she would have been protected from this awful situation.

I'm stunned at grown women who shrug this fact off with 'why should anyone care'

She was fucking 13 years old. It's horrific.

ScottishBlendTeaBags · 07/11/2019 16:28

@GrimDamnFanjo your comment suits your username

Totallycluelessoverhere · 07/11/2019 16:29

I don’t know if the radfords had social services intervention at the time when she was 13 but they don’t seem to have any concerns or involvement now.
Getting pregnant at 13/14 was all too commonplace in the area I grew up in, social services were not that interested and the police would only be interested if somebody (parents usually) made an official report.

ScottishBlendTeaBags · 07/11/2019 16:29

She was fucking 13 years old. It's horrific

And glossed over A LOT in their shows. I wonder if that's partly why the oldest son is hardly ever mentioned, to stop people doing the maths.

Velveteenfruitbowl · 07/11/2019 16:31

@Lifecraft how is born sleeping any more euphemistic than stillborn?

Venger · 07/11/2019 16:33

There is absolutely no way they are able to meet the emotional needs of that many children or even many of their physical and educational needs beyond fed, clothed, and housed.

I remember their then-11yo saying on live TV that she doesn't like having to look after the little ones and finds it really stressful.

Enko · 07/11/2019 16:35

What fresh euphemistic hell is this. Do you mean still born / died at birth? If so, say so. @Lifecraft

PLEASE do not make such sweeping statements. I know many mothers who have had babies born sleeping who loathe the 2 works you picked. This is SUCH a emotional area so do NOT decide what others are to call it as long as it is done so sensitively towards that baby and parents.

WagtailRobin · 07/11/2019 16:39

I think it's a ridiculous amount of children to have but equally it's none of my business and doesn't/won't affect my life in any way.

Sailorsgirl44 · 07/11/2019 16:40

I grew up in a large family. There were 11 of us. And I hated it. There wasn't the money or the wherewith all to go to any after school activities or to parties. There were no playdates as such and I never got to go to anything I might have been interested in (eg my son loves Lego so I take him to Lego exhibits if they're on in the area).

The house was always noisy and dirty. I craved time on my own. And still do! I just felt like a number growing up - I don't think my father could tell you much about any of our personalities. And my mother died when we were quiet young.
And we're not close now as adults. I think our upbringing was tough and there is a lot of resentment... And we all just want peace and quiet!

m0therofdragons · 07/11/2019 16:42

I have 3 and that often feels like a lot

sniffingthewax · 07/11/2019 16:48

It's very obvious from watching the vlogs that they cannot even sustain a basic conversation with one child, there are about 10 people talking at a time and you can see some of them acting up just to get attention for 5 seconds. When they go out there isn't a safe adult/child ratio. The young ones are running everywhere and it's very much up to the older siblings to take care of a younger one. The youngest boy is always carried by one of the older girls, I'm sure he thinks she's his mum.

Adoptthisdogornot · 07/11/2019 16:58

Just to flip it, they have created 21 future tax payers? This whole 'they cost the taxpayer money argument' is a bit spurious. We have a declining birth rate in europe and their choice really doesn't impact anyone financially actually. Look up how much the MoD spends a year (just as an example) and the money thing falls on its face.
On the other hand, its a vey unconventional way to grow up, and I hope those children do feel nurtured and not just used as domestic help and childcare by their parents.

PumpkinP · 07/11/2019 17:02

Abit Ott? I have 4 and people seem to make out that it is way too many so yes 22 is abit more than ott!

Raphael34 · 07/11/2019 17:05

Completely unfair imo. The older ones seem to be responsible for the childcare for the little ones. It no childhood for those poor kids

obviously · 07/11/2019 17:08

Just to flip it, they have created 21 future tax payers? This whole 'they cost the taxpayer money argument' is a bit spurious.

Erm, what a bizarre way to view things.

22 people cost the tax payer whether they pay into the system or not. Add up the cost to the tax payer of just one of these children over their lifetime and I am quite sure it will be far above the potential amount they will pay in over that lifetime.

DowntownAbby · 07/11/2019 17:18

I'm sure there's some logic in there somewhere but I sure as hell can't spot it.

pigsDOfly · 07/11/2019 17:20

I've never heard the expression 'born sleeping' before and assumed it was some sort of life changing condition that the child had and was going to google it until Lifecraft put me right.

As someone who has been through the trauma of a still birth, albeit a long time ago, I don't think people around me making use of such a strange euphemism would have made it any easier for me.

It's the same as telling children that granny has fallen asleep. I've never understood that one either, but then I've never been a great one for delicate little terms to cover over the hard bit of life, or indeed the biological bits.

Skinnychip · 07/11/2019 17:27

I feel you wouldn't, as a parent be able to give that many DC the time, attention and physical space they need. I do think theres a psychological issue with being pregnant and having a newborn. There isn't even a year between a few of the kids.
Sue seems very calm and relaxed though, and looks amazing for someone whos been through pregnancy and birth that many times. Not sure i could do potty training 22 times!!
Ive seen a couple of the vlogs and shes talking to the camera and theres a toddler or 2 asking 100 questions as normal toddlers do and she can't give full attention because she's vlogging or got a younger baby. I mostly enjoyed the toddler stage but some days with incessant questions (just from one or 2 DC) could drive you crazy and that must have been her life for the last 15 or so years but with added tween/teenage hormonal behaviour to deal with as well

CAG12 · 07/11/2019 17:33

OP has anyone said 'yes you are being unreasonable. 22 children is a perfectly fine amount of children', or is this post just another way at levelling judgement on someone else?

Whattodoabout · 07/11/2019 17:36

There was a couple of concurrent threads on this last week when they announced the pregnancy. MN pulled one of them, Radford threads rarely end well...

It’s always the same rhetoric too. Usually a debate about whether they claim benefits or not and a few people calling Noel a paedo. Bit boring now.

dayslikethese1 · 07/11/2019 17:37

I think they have issues TBH but it's their business I suppose. It sounds like my idea of hell but there you go.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5