Presents at Christmas

[Rosebel]

Since me and my brothers had children we don't buy for each other at Christmas, just for the children. However we decided that presents for the children stop at 21.
My niece will be 21 next year. Do you think I should buy a present for my brother and SIL as I won't be buying for my niece but they will be buying for our children? My husband says no as they are really hard to buy for and have expensive taste, which we can't afford. However I feel a bit mean buying nothing. Do you think it's unreasonable to not get adults a,present if they're buying for your children?

Why not a your home from our home gift? Cheese board?
Biscuit hamper?
Take away voucher?

If you feel mean why not buy the whole family something they'll use (voucher for cinema/eating out, nice cheese/wine/chocs you know they'll like)?

If she's 21 next year then it isn't an issue this year so you have 13 months to think about it

I’d get a family present, box of chocs, hamper, cinema tickets for three, something like that.

Yeah a family gift would be nice. A big hotel chocolat box or something.

I wouldn't, as no doubt you've been buying for your niece for 21 years and he will do the same for you children for 21 years

If your neice isn't 21 until next year then surely you will be buying her something for Christmas - and this won;t be a problem until next Christmas.

But anwa - presumably as your children are younger there was time when you were buying presents for thier kids and getting nothing in return as you were then just a fmaily of adults ? In which case it all evens out in the end and if you;ve agreed 21 then that's fine everyone knows where they stand.

My friend and I did the same (stopped presents for kids at 18) her kids were younger than mine so I gave for a few years while not receiving anything in return. Didn't even enter my head as being a problem., you've already agreed a present giving rule - just stick to it.

no I don't think adults really need presents at xmas at all. I never had an issue buying for my niece and nephew before I had kids.
If you are spending xmas together give them food/drink as a "gift"

That doesn't really make sense, out of them all the 21 year old could probably do with a gift.

I'd drop down to token gifts for your kids.

I have one DS and my sister has 3 older children. We both buy for each others kids and then buy each couple a bag of nice foodie gifts (biscuits/fudge/choc etc to share) Probably only spend £10-£15 but a nice gesture.

Why not talk to your brother about it?

I wouldn't buy for BIL & SIL but I'd carry on buying for your niece whatever her age.

We stop at 21 but don’t then buy the adults instead. We do buy adults nice b.day gifts though.

We are all happy with this as various other people (MIL/aged aunts) buy us hampers full of things we don’t like/eat or gifts sets we never use, despite us saying just buy for the kids. It’s all such a waste.

Stop after she is 21 and don't buy anything

It balances out- your children get 21 years of gifts and so did theirs.

I’d get a family present, box of chocs, hamper, cinema tickets for three, something like that.

Really dont.

I'd get the 21 year old something rather than your brother and SIL.