To think there is something wrong with me!

[Lalalalalalalalaland]

not sure where to start but I am considering going to the doctors but unsure if I will just get laughed out of the place! My son has very severe ASD and while reading an article about ASD and ADHD in females a lightbulb kind of went off in my head!

examples:

• I was a very 'odd' child, struggled socially and my siblings friends still say when they see me about weird stuff i used to say, I would be really nervous and panic and end up just throwing things out there. I am much better with people now but still don't have any real friends, i'm friendly with loads of people but don't have anyone outside of family / my partner that i spend regular time with.

• I am chronically disorganised and inattentive, not just with little things like laundry and meal planning but with big things, My youngest is at a different school to my eldest as I didn't apply for her primary school place in time, had massive fines for submitting tax returns too late despite having loads of time to do it, have lost jobs as I just wasn't getting the work done despite being more than able and having plenty of time.

• on the flip i can concentrate on some things, if i start a book or boxset i won't rest until i have finished, will stay up all night, not go to work etc (rather embarrased about that one!) i will spend hours at the yard fannying around with dds ponies

• I should have done incredibly well at school, I was very intelligent, top set in everything and expected all top grades but I just didn't concentrate, didn't do homework, didn't revise, didn't turn up to some of the exams. I hated school and left the second I could despite the fact that I did enjoy learning if that makes sense! No-one ever seemed particularly bothered, though I was always incredibly well behaved so maybe that is why!

• I struggle to manage money and pay things on time even when there is plenty of money to do so.

• I have a massive problem with food and overeating, eating when full, secretly eating etc

• my house is mostly always untidy, however occasionally it is like a switch flips and I will gut the entire house, when I get like that i purposefully do not stop or let my attention drift as I don't knwo when I will get the mojo back.

• I struggle to be a good parent, I'm always the one that has forgotten a cake, forgotten to pay for club, forgotten to sign reading journal, I'm often inattentive with them and struggle to find the motivation to get out and do things that doesn't involve the ponies.

• my relationship is has been massively affected by me saying i'll do something e.g tax the car and then forget or put off doing it and will lie and say yes when DP asks if i've done it as I panic and then when he inevitably finds out 'like the time I didn't tax the car and he got pulled over' he is quite rightly really annoyed at me!

• I'm always exhausted, yet struggle to ever wind down enough to sleep normally.

And probably a million other things, I was due an ENT appointment post surgery 11 years ago and still havn't sorted out getting my ears looked at despite the fact I am now pretty much deaf on one side and hard of hearing on the other.

Is my GP going to just laugh me out of the office and tell me to stop being such a lazy slob? do adults even get diagnosed with ADHD? The only adults I know with it got diagnosed as kids.

I could have written this word for word myself - I've long suspected I have ADHD, although a friend who's a doctor says she sees potential ASD in me too, so I think you're probably right.

I've never sought a diagnosis because none of the things individually feel 'big' enough, but maybe it would help me (and you) tackle them as a whole!

I think on the whole i'm embarrassed to go, incase there is nothing wrong with me and i'm just lazy...

The fear of pouring out every personal flaw of mine is pretty big! especially when I generally come across as a very put together person (professional job, 3 kids, 2 ponies, nice house etc)

An adult person I know has done a number of on-line tests for Autism, all of which (accurately in my mind) show that she is on that spectrum.

I have done the same tests, and all show I do NOT have the same identifiable traits. As such, there is a least a very basic level of some differential between the values they assign.

That said, these tests will never do more than give a potential area worth exploring with a qualified medical person, but it has allowed her to have enough faith in how she feels to make enquiries.

As such, she is now reviewing how (if) she takes this forward and seeks a formal diagnosis.

Overall - I would say it is worth while finding out. It may be that a) help is available if you need it and b) more likely in my opinion, it may allow you to develop specific ways of living your live ("Coping Strategies") that minimise the impacts.

Good luck

Thankyou whatdoimean

I don't think you can test online for ADHD.

I guess some of it is me stop being so embarrased to go and ask the doctor

How do you think it would benefit you if you had this diagnosis.I'm not sure it would help, you know your weak points and presumably just need to work on them.I'm fairly certain I'm on the spectrum, as a child a diagnosis may have been useful but I'm not sure if it would help now.

Oh my God. Felt strange reading this as you are basically me (nice house and ponies aside!). As someone said though- guess I'm not sure what purpose diagnosis would make. Unless there's a magic pill.. please? Anyone..??!

I've just been diagnosed with adult ADHD aged 39. It's not that there is anything 'wrong' with you, you are just who you are : ) But ADHD does cause a shed load of problems.

I weighed up whether or not to get a diagnosis, how would it help me. In the end I decided it would help if I could get support at work. Also as I did more research I came across ADHD specific coaching. I had no intention of taking medication.

There are two options - speak to your GP or get a private diagnosis. I didn't want a long waiting list and was fortunately able to to go private. I used Psychiatry UK and it cost around £350 for the assessment. Once I got the diagnosis I mainly ignored it but tried to improve my diet and get more organised.

I learned I am SO much better on a low wheat diet and with exercise, but this is hard to maintain. Eventually the brain fog was killing me and I was slipping again. I am now back on the healthy diet, exercise, and I am getting an ADHD Coach. I have also just started medication which has been good as I can start and finish things a lot more easily. although this is not something I want to rely on.

I know what you mean about being embarrassed but the Dr holds the key to an assessment.

People who say you just need to work on these things - yes great, maybe in 50 years I will have mastered the art of planning in advance. It really is a slog.

I had a light bulb moment dealing with dd's autism. I had a chat with a GP who knew me and was referred. It's a thing that adults are finding resources that weren't available when they were children.

I've been working on my weak spots for my entire life, i don't appear to be getting better at it.

I don't know what I'm hoping to gain tbh, perhaps i feeling that i haven't failed in many aspects because I'm fundamentally lazy and scatty and forgetful (though maybe i am)

Cheeseplantistakingover interesting about diet, exercise wise i am pretty active due to 3 kids and 2 ponies! But don't do any hardcore exercise.

I've been reading online that they want resources from childhood, i don't have old school reports and i know my mum wouldn't support me going for a diagnosis, my dad passed away 8 years ago. Would they take word from my sister about how i was as a child?

Hi OP yes any family member or close friend could do the forms. I got very little helpful information from my family at all, so I had a friend do the forms as well. I wouldn't worry if you don't have school reports, lots of people don't.

Part of what I am learning is to accept what I'm not very good at, and to simplify my life, have checklists etc.

Russell Barkley writes / talks a lot about ADHD, he explains it quite well. It's not lack of attention but inability to regulate attention.

Yup, sounds like me and I was diagnosed last year.

A diagnosis helps for so many reasons. Access to resources and medication, as well as being able to start getting over the constant feeling of not being good enough that has plagued me since I was a child.