To ask you how you stopped breast feeding an older baby?

[ritaBx]

Ds3 is 14 months. I never had an issue with stopping my other 2 dcs. I stopped when they turned 1.

But ds3 is still completely obsessed with bf. And it's getting me down big time. I'm so ready to stop now.

He won't have full fat milk or formula, he just spits it out.

I feel I need to just gradually wean him off but can anyone give me any tips or guide me through it? He constantly has his hand down my top having a good squeeze too - all just for comfort. Sleep is terrible too.

Help please....sleep deprived mum!

Quite like the marmite idea but knowing ds he would probably like it!

We have a busy week next week so I think that may help - I don't feed him when we are out and about and he just has water.

Argh I don't know, it really doesn't help when you are exhausted in yourself which I really am at the moment (more so than usual, I'm really feeling it). I'll do anything to sleep but I'm really going to try to get this sorted - nipped in the bud - no pun intended

I did the don't offer, don't refuse thing and in the later stages she might only feed once a week. Then the last time she tried, she said the milk had gone. She was two years and nine months.

@crispysausagerolls I took a week off work, got him off the boob, out of my bed and into his own room and cot at the same time.

Boob was fine - he was mainly having it during the night so obvs that stopped.

For bedtimes, I put him down, kiss and night night then left the room. Came back at 5 mins, then after ten, then after 15 etc. he was up till 11pm the first night but by the third night I only needed to go in once. Has slept through fine since - honestly it was the best thing I ever did. I was so exhausted from not sleeping properly then having to get up for work.

@ActualHornist

Did he cry? I think DS would cry if left

DH took DSs to his parents. Couple of nights of a sippy cup of whole milk and they were persuaded that they’d quit. DS1 was just past 2, DS2 was a few weeks earlier.

I don't know if it helps but the natural weaning age (ie child led) is from 2yrs old onwards so perfectly normal for your child to still want to bf.
I wouldn't be so convinced it has anything to do with the bad sleep though. I'd try to work on the sleep issue, maybe night-wean if that saves your sanity, but there is no requirement to wean entirely as it's a bloody godsend to be still bf a toddler/young child at times (the bond, the use when child is sick or scared or having a tantrum etc).
You can also call the national breastfeeding helpline 0300 100 0212 to talk it through with a trained bf counsellor.

My child stopped at 17 months. I could have carried on but I had to go away for a two week course.

I went home at the weekend and that was it. He didn't need it anymore.

If you are having a hard time, you may need to just take off for a couple of days. Your child can't have what is not available!

@crispysausagerolls yes he cried but I was going back regularly, just soothing without removing him from the cot or offering the boob. Like I say, by day three it was done.

We are just doing this with my DD2 she is 18 months and deeds first thing ( 4am yawn) and before sleep. We do it by removing me from the night and her dad does it all. She soon cotton's on. Sleep is getting better and she has never been upset with it. If she sees me she wants milk. Our next step is to start saying no

My DS was just the same, he comfort fed from day 1 and I relied on BF to get him to sleep and also when he woke several times each night until he was 2. I only managed to stop because I went away with work for two days and my milk dried up (he was 2.5 so night feeds had slowly dropped off so my supply was lower anyway). He tried feeding after that but obviously it wasn’t possible so he just had to deal with it. It was quite upsetting, but only for a short time. He never napped again after that as he used to BF to sleep. He kept asking for feeds for a long while afterwards. I’d just explain that there was none left. This went on for several months. He’s 3.5 and doesn’t ask any more, though he still sticks his hand down my top if he’s tired or upset. If my milk hadn’t dried up I’d probably still be BF as I honestly didn’t know how to wean him off. Basically cold turkey worked pretty well in my case, after a couple of hard nights and a few months of gentle distraction!

Can I suggest calling the NCT feeding helpline and talking it over with a qualified breastfeeding counsellor? They are very happy to talk about all aspects of baby feeding, including stopping (and starting, and transitioning to other ways of feeding).

0300 330 0700

I couldn't work out how to do it without lots of tears, so didn't, despite being desperate to stop from about a year .

With DS1 I buggered off to Paris for three days the month before he turned 2 and he'd forgotten about it by the time I got back, so I seized the chance and did not remind him. No such luck with DS2 - the child has the memory of an elephant - so I just gradually cut down feeds in the day until he was only having one to go to bed and then all through the bloody night and two weeks ago (he's 2 and a quarter) I just got fed up and told him they'd stopped working because he's big now. He was full of helpful suggestions but after I carefully explained several times that neither plugging them in nor getting new batteries at the shop would help, he seemed to accept it fairly well. Unfortunately he's also felt the need to share the news that Mummy's boobs are broken with all and sundry but thankfully we seem to be getting over that too now .

The thing that did help both of them with cutting down was reading some books aimed at toddlers about stopping - and making milk really attractive with special bells and whistles/ paw patrol covered sparkly sippy cups for a little while.

Mine is nearly 3 and no sign of stopping

Following as I'm starting to think about this at 14mo. I stopped with my first much earlier as I had to go away for a few nights and I'd started swapping in formula. She's my last baby but I'm a bit over it now, I'm sure I'll miss having it in my arsenal when I stop!

I went away with work. She was fine.

DC1 self-weaned at 2.8, when DC2 was born (didn't like the taste of the new milk).
We stopped on DC2's 3rd birthday. We told her she was a big girl now.
DC3 stopped at 3.9.

Of course, the number of feeds had been gradually reduced over the months / years.

Don't ask don't refuse worked here. Think it made my supply drop off so bf became less and less interesting to DS.

Thanks all - I'm going to try the don't ask/don't refuse approach. Seems a good idea. As I do find myself offering it when he's tired/upset. Last night he fell asleep with his dummy. But through the night is a total different matter....

So I'm just so about to ask my mum if she will have ds for a couple of nights. I'm sure she will be over joyed at the thought.....

But what I'm going to suggest is I drop him off when he's awake, I'll leave, she gets him to sleep - he always falls asleep with her no problem. Then when he's asleep, I'll come back and sleep in the spare room just incase he's an absolute nightmare through then night and won't settle.

I'm hoping he will just take his dummy when he stirs and my mum will be able to just deal with it and I'll sleep blissfully 🤞🏻

He was full of helpful suggestions but after I carefully explained several times that neither plugging them in nor getting new batteries at the shop would help

I moved in with MIL for a week and left DH to it.

I got pregnant with his younger sibling.... I know loads of people carry on through pregnancy but I had terrible aversion so just couldn't. His dad had to do all bedtimes for a bit. To be fair he was 2 years 3 months and down to only one feed a day so it wasn't too difficult by that point anyway. DS2 is now 2 and still feeding loads. I won't be getting pregnant again though so will have to come up with another plan!

I stopped at around 20 / 21 months it took some effort and trying to find another way to put her to sleep other than bfding.

I felt a bit guilty at the time as it was my choice entirely but not I’m really glad I did.

Now I’m really glad

We night weaned DD2 at 24 months. She bed shared with DH while I slept in the spare room for 6 weeks.

I didn't feed on demand after 2 either. It had to be convenient. She is now only feeding once before bed at 5 years.

My boob obsessed toddler is 2 next month and the ONLY thing that stopped him during the day was putting plasters on my nipples, he does pull my top down and when he sees the plasters he doesnt bother... night time is a different story, i need to wean for my own sanity