So tired - what do you do?

[onetimeonlyy]

More of a what would/ do you do so apologies not AIBU

DS 9.5 months is an awful sleeper - I'm doing my best to improve it but we still have almost hourly wake ups and only two 20 min naps in the day. It was so much easier when he was a newborn, I could breastfeed and watch Netflix, now he is crawling and trying to stand on everything - needs constant attention. And I'm more tired than the early days.

How do you function with so little sleep? Is it bad to put in the night garden on and him in high chair and just sit down on the sofa for a bit? I'm so so tired every day. I make an effort to go to groups, play on the floor for hours... But today I'm really suffering.
Plus in top of this I work from home two days so need to work around him and in the evenings.

House is a tip. Which is stressing me out.

Please give me a pep talk and tell me what you do when the sleep deprivation reaches its worst.

Good morning. Both of my children watch tele and always have. In the night garden, Peppa pig, fireman Sam etc. It's fine to have days that have more Tele. As long as they are out and about too and doing a variety of things it's fine. Some days we are lazy. Other days we are busy.

Do you like the baby groups? Do you feel you need them? If not then stop going for now. They are not essential unless you need and crave the socialising. Nine month old babies don't need to mingle as such.

I feel tired often in my body. It's my iron levels. So I do recommend checking all that is ok first with your gp. I believe in fresh air. Getting out for a walk with baby in pushchair is always a good idea. We live near a park with a river walk etc. So we are able to do that. We do school runs now for my eldest so we get out 2 hours a day for that.

Obviously look at your diet. Drink more water. Eat more veg. Drink some smoothies etc. Take a multi vitamin.

The tiredness is part of the parcel at times. I feel worn out some days and I get so stressed out about things.

Housework has been a problem since having my kids. They both can destroy what I've done in minutes. My one year old (almost 2) is the reason I have locks on everything. He's very mischievous and I can't take my eyes of him for long. I find it incredibly tricky to do much housework. Some days I'm winning but often I'm not. I know it's hard and believe me I struggle to believe it myself but it depends on why it's a tip.... If you have clean washing everywhere and are working your way through the mucky pile then you are doing fine! You have clean clothes! As long as your pots get washed everyday and your hoovering is done and you wash floors once a week and clean the toilet every few days then your doing ok. Toys and stuff everywhere is just how it is with small kids. Yes there are lots of parents who seem to be able to do it all and keep it immaculate. But that's not all of us. I certainly can't. I try remind myself they will grow up fast. My four year old started school 2 months ago and is no longer here in the day playing with her toddler toys. I really miss it. But she comes home and makes a different mess now lol.

Just do what you need to do to get through the day. I've sometimes put my son Infront of the tele in his pushchair for 20 mins and shut my eyes whilst he watches cbeebies. He soon shouts at me when he's bored lol!!!

I totally understand. I have a 16 month old who still doesn't sleep brilliantly (first year was horrendous) and work full time with a long commute. The best bit of advice I was given regarding housework was to lower my standards and expectations - it works. I no longer fret about every bit of housework and just get it done whenever I can. I've decided that one day when DS is older I will have a beautiful house again. For now, sod it.

There is no harm in sticking on the tv and chilling for a bit. Is it just you at home or do you have a partner? Sometimes I text DH in the day to tell him I need some me-time and I "schedule" in a nice bubble bath. Gives me something to look forward to and keeps me going while I glug an energy drink to get through the day.

I hope you feel better tomorrow!

Thank you for taking the time to post. Yes DP does help but son doesnt seem to get sleepy with him and just cries for me. He works long hours so isnt always here.

I just feel like im constantly running on a quarter tank, I really didnt expect to be in this position at 10 months.

Great advice. Thank you xx

Thank goodness, another me!

Mine is 9 months, I've been back at work (employed from home - LO does 3 mornings nursery a week) full time since he was 13 weeks. He wakes every 45 minutes-1 hour and has done for the best part of 4 months, including the last 3 weeks non stop. That's with me co sleeping and fully bottle feeding (CMPA and reflux). I'm praying this is sleep regression (and some teething and illness) and he will snap out of it in time. My DP tries to do his share, but LO screams for hours every wake up instead of taking 10 minutes to settle with me, so I get woken up from the other room anyway.

I have no wise words, but much empathy!

Oh poor you ❤️

I'm so bored of it! Every day my mum rings and asks how my night was. The answer is always terrible! I have nothing to say it's so frustrating

You end up analysising everything .... But it achieves nothing 😅

It’s so difficult, especially at that age. I have no idea how you manage to work 2 days without childcare, it must be a real challenge. Is there any way you could get a couple of half days at nursery to give you chance to recharge a little?

The sleep deprivation sucks, I have a nearly two year old who still wakes multiple times overnight. Some nights it isn’t too bad, other days I could literally close my eyes and fall asleep. On those days I do what I need to do to get through the day, whether that’s lots of tea and chocolate or just slumped in front of the tv with DD for a couple of hours. I don’t beat myself up about it and on the days I feel good we go out and exercise etc. It’s easier to find more activities when they’re walking well, so it does get easier with time, you certainly adapt to the rubbish sleep after a while!

Housework is a bit easier now, DD likes to “help” with the laundry and is good at wiping tables!

The first year is tough- you’re doing a great job!

In answer of your question - I go to bed with LO for his full 11ish hours (because they're so broken ofc). I work through all naps. My DP, while not being helpful overnight because of LO's preference, has instead taken on almost all housework and cooking (he also works full time, but out of the house). I drink huge amounts of caffeine and work on my phone as often as possible to keep up (in bed, in the bath etc).

I didnt expect this either, it's brutal. I ignore the house and focus on baby, then work. Everything else can be worked out in the end. It won't be forever.

Oh sorry I didn't explain about work, DP takes one day off a week so i can work but I fit a day's work into the other 4 days. It is very hard. We are starting two days nursery in Jan which will help me a lot!

I feel like I've developed insomnia even though I'm exhausted I find it hard to go to sleep. I should try to sleep at 9pm but I often find I can't. I'm running through busy thoughts.

And to make matters worse I still have terrible pelvis girdle pain and walking is super painful.

Woooohooo to motherhood 😢

I think that the 9 month to a year age is probably the hardest, especially if baby hasn't started sleeping through the night!! Must be so hard trying to work as well. Will be better when they start nursery, may help with a good routine as well.
My eldest slept through for the first time just after she went 1. But wasnt 100% for a while but manageable. My youngest is 2 at the end of December and still.doesnt sleep though, still wakes a couple of times and also wakes.early each morning. I am getting so fed up if it, I thought by now she would be sleeping well.
I know what you mean about been so tired but not been able to sleep. I started to take magnesium tablets which I think have helped my sleep. Also take other vitamins in general as felt I needed them, also my diet isn't as good as it was as I dont have the time to cook as much.
Can you not start 1 day nursery now? So you can work on the.other day easier than trying to fit it in?

Thanks good advice re the vitamins!

Sorry your little ones are keeping you up too!

The waiting lists for the nurseries around me are about 6 months and lots don't even offer one day.

I keep trying to be positive that each day it might just get slightly better. If I could have two/ three wake ups a night that would help so much.

Going to try and get an early night now! Stop staying up reading mumsnet 😂

Oh, that was age was so hard. Much more mobile, wanting more interaction, sleep still terrible.
I remember sitting on the floor at 6am as DH left for work. I’d been up for 2 hours already and cried as I knew DH wouldn’t be home for another 13 hours and thinking I haven’t got the energy for this.
Somehow we got through it. I won’t lie, there are different challenges along the way but I’m sure that age brought the most would destroying tiredness I’ve ever experienced

I used to go and sit on the toilet in work and close my eyes for a few mins. It was lovely and cool and dark in there!

Have you tried a sleep consultant or any type of sleep training?

I found once I did this, things improved massively. Overnights and daytime naps.

I sympathise OP, sleep deprivation is awful.

Start threads on mumsnet and get shouted at 😂

Seriously though, I found bed sharing easiest just to cope. Not for all, but stopping the up and down meant I didn’t have to fully rouse and made a huge difference.

Actually schedule rests, proper planned not moving time. Otherwise I’m just always on the go almost neurotically. Feed child, make area safe etc and do not move from the sofa. Compartmentalising the day helped me not just be always tired. Fresh air also did us both good, plan walks and do them

sleep train...lifes too short