"I don't work here"

[SafetyAdvice0FeedWhenAgitated]

This is light-hearted. I am just curious if this happens to other people too.

I worked in retail and hospitality for well over a decade so I have permanent smile on my face even when I am angry, can orient myself in any shop immediately and I guess I have something else too, because "Sorry, I don't work here" is a sentence I end up saying quite often!

The best example. Went to John Lewis to look for some inspiration in a home department. I was switching cushions on one sofa, where my DH sat, to see which colours and patterns work best together. I had to pop into a nearby aisle few times to get different cushions (I put them all back after, I am not a dick).
3 separate people asked me "Excuse me! Where is x?" They all "Oh! I thought...", apologised and thanked me (all very polite) when I said I don't work there, but it's x aisles down. All in a span of 15 min.

I had no uniform, clothes didn't resemble JL in any way. It happened in other shops too! Once I ended up helping lady in Debenhams chosing a colour of a coat she wanted. She was lovely though.

Is that it? Is the retail and hospitality worker in me forever and so strong that people just can tell?
You know, like in a movies where people can easily identify cops or former cops?

I am retraining to a non retail/hospitality management position.

Firstly, AIBU to worry they will all just think I am a lost shop assistant who accidentally entered their offices?😂 It obviously "shines" from me.

Secondly, AIBU to be curious if this happens to other people from other professions too?

I'm sure people give off vibes. No one ever asks me for help in a store like that but I am constantly asked directions in the street and also get asked for cafe recommendations. I used to be a tour guide and must look like I know where I'm going and am happy to advise at all times!

I get this quite often and I have never worked in retail. Its happened in M&S about three times , supermarkets (asda and sainsburys) and some smaller shops. I think it's usually because I often wear lots of plain black clothing and they always seem more embarrassed than me when I correct them

Are you looking around and generally making eye contact with people?

I routinely get asked by natives for directions in foreign cities as well as at home. I just get out my map and we sort it together.

It's about looking approachable, I think!

When I travel, I am constantly asked to take pictures of people with their cameras. I think it is because I travel with a pretty fancy camera, so they think that it means I won't want to run away with theirs.

I’ve had this before, and find it to be those really dismissive sorts who expect to be waited on hand and foot and don’t really bother to be aware enough of their surroundings to look properly

This happens to me and I hate it - I have no understanding why people ask me for help in shops or directions on the streets. I am shy and anxious when out so pretty sure I do not look confident and I certainly am not looking at people or making eye contact.

Wonder if the question should be - who has never been asked?

It's funny isn't it, whenever we are anywhere near a train station or row of bus stops, people will inevitably stop my husband and ask him which train platform or bus stop they need to get to where they want to go. The weird thing is that he's a bit of a public transport nerd, so he can usually give a really detailed answer about the best route to take, where to change etc. People must just be able to sense that he's a walking fountain of knowledge about public transport.

I've never worked in retail/hospitality, would consider myself generally antisocial and have resting bitch face...but almost every time I go to JL haberdashery section someone will ask me for help ("can I use this for this?" "Is this the same colour as this?"). They're usually much older than I am so I've put it down to an age thing. I help them if I can and try to find an actual employee for them if I can't.

I used to work in retail and I think it’s the being approachable thing. I get people coming up to me asking to borrow my tall husband to reach things from high heights 😂..but they don’t ask him

DD2 always get asked, but she has a resting smiley face, unlike mine . I rarely get asked.

Yes. Wherever I sit on a bus I get the "Bus Loony" sitting beside me. The ones who smell, the ones who want to read every sign out the window - out loud. I sit on a seat and a gronk comne on - beeline to my seat. bypassing the other seats that are vacant. "I've got a screwdiver in my pocket I have!" A handsome man gets on I think, oh why not sit next to me. I move my bag so he can sit if he wants, a woman gets on who I think might be amiable and a reasonable seat-mate - No, the Bus Loony appears out of the vapour "HALLO CAN I SIT HERE" not a question. AUUUUUUGH>

I remember my Mum stopping a random Bloke in Asda and asking him what aisle something was on, obviously thinking he worked there. He explained he didn't work there but he'd almost automatically responded to her as he did the same job but in Morrison's! She's done similar in another supermarket and the person said that she recognised her from working in Aldi. So there must be a vibe that these people throw out.

The other day I was in a branch of Zara and someone stopped a woman nearby thinking she worked there. The woman replied that this was the third time it had happened in the shop in the space of about 20 minutes and asked why people kept thinking she worked in Zara. What I found really odd is that the woman that was being repeatedly stopped was wearing a Leopard print fur coat and obviously outdoor chunky ugg type boots and had her daughter with her. It was clear as day she wasn't working in the shop but why did three people assume she did?!

I've stopped people before who were wearing similar outfits to the uniform, so someone dressed all in black with immaculate make up in both MAC and Zara, someone wearing a green quilted jacket in Morrisons etc.

I always get stopped at airports and airport hotels, when I am in normal clothes, by people who assume I am an air hostess. The funny thing is, I am regularly mistaken for being someone who works for Emirates. People just randomly come up to me and ask if I'm flying for work or personal reasons "this time" and ask where my favourite stop over is, what is my upcoming schedule, duty free recommendations etc. At first I used to think, "why on earth are you asking me this?!". Then at some point they go, "I thought you worked with Emirates?" and I'm like...nope. Its really, really bizarre. I wonder if there is a baffled Emirates Air Hostess somewhere who is regularly approached being asked for lecture notes or having students tell her they can't come to her class this week!

Hahah amazing ! Sounds like you are a lovely approachable person so maybe that's why people are asking you.

I go to hospital appointments regularly and used to forget to take my work ID badge off. Everyone used to stop me and ask me for directions around the hospital (after years of experience I knew where everything was) but I realised it was because of my lanyard badge people assumed I worked there. I always take it off now !

This happens to me all the time! Usually people are nice and ask where things are, where do I pay etc but one time a woman had a massive go at me 'how ridiculous that...' and I was like 'I don't even work here love! ' how embarrassed was she haha. I also regularly get asked directions, people randomly tell me their troubles on a park bench or waiting for a bus...I think I have just got a kind face!! My Mum is the same too!

It’s funny isn’t it, it happens a lot to me too - stopped for directions, asked in the street for local restaurant recommendations (even when abroad) and at a recent conference I was constantly mistaken for one of the organisers - even some of the staff came to to me asking what was going on. It even happens at the school fair - questions from teachers etc about timings and locations even when I am not involved. Am sure it’s because I am friendly and approachable and good at problem solving so will try and help if I can.

I work in Sainsbury’s and had popped into Asda while still wearing my Sainsbury’s uniform and two people asked me for help.

i had that in bookshops even years after i left my job in a bookshop

DH is a retired police officer and so often people just seem to recognise that he is either ex police or ex military - I assume it is just a vibe he gives off.

I am so glad to hear it happens to so many people!

Yes, I do generally smile and make eye contact. Now I am wondering if I could score some employee discount😂

Nope. I have one of those faces!

Mostly confidence in yourself and the space, I'd say, which will stand you in excellent stead in management.

I have done this to someone in M&S once. She was wearing a black gilet, which somehow looked like staff unform to me. Oops.

Take a moment to look at how other people behave in the same shops. Most people skulk around sheepishly.

People ask other people where things are even when they are quite well aware the person doesn't work there or doubtful as to whether that person works there. A woman came up to me in a shop and said "where are the ??whatever" and added "I know you don't work here". Because people need to find stuff and there is often a shortage of staff. I expect in JL you looked like you had knowledge of the store and people needed to tap into the knowledge regardless of whether you were an employee.

I'm sure people give off vibes. No one ever asks me for help in a store like that but I am constantly asked directions in the street and also get asked for cafe recommendations.

This is my mum! She is Australian but is stopped for directions in the UK (when she’s visiting) all the time.

It has also happened in Italy, Austria, Switzerland and Canada.

I think some people just exude a combination of confidence and approachability.