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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I can't cope with the school run anymore!!

344 replies

PapayaCoconut · 07/11/2019 01:03

I don't drive. (Have a tiny breastfeeding baby, so won't be able to learn until she's older.) DH works looong hours. DD (5) just started school 20-25 minutes walk away.

I just can't do it anymore! DD is so tired some days I have to drag her scooter with one arm and push her sister's pram with the other. In the rain if I'm unlucky.

I'm seriously thinking about hiring a taxi to take us every day... 😖 AIBU?

OP posts:
Shitonthebloodything · 07/11/2019 08:06

I'm 10 years into school runs with another 10 ahead of me. Yeah walking in the rain is crap, yep little ones are tiring. It's shit, but you're only half way through the first term of school so you need to make this bearable.
If a nearer school is an option then I'd really consider it if you're struggling that much but in the mean time, get yourself a decent coat with a hood, is your pram light enough? If your dd loves the scooter get one that'll go on or under the pram, you can't carry it. Put a few snacks and drinks in the bottom of the pram. While baby us tiny you can use a sling.
Does anyone else walk your direction? Walking buddies help and it's a good way to meet other mums. You may even be able to set up a day on day off arrangement taking turns once you get to know them.

I hate to be all 'just get on with it' but this is one of those situations unfortunately.
A taxi would cost you a fortune to wait and come back everyday.

Humpdayruminations · 07/11/2019 08:06

Taxi when it rains but check the weather and prebook or you might wait ages. One of the big double buggies like out and about or Bob revolution would work well. You can usually get them off Facebook marketplace cheaply and they are soooo easy to push because of the giant tyres. Slings with a tiny baby wrapped up in a coat made me crazy because it was a constant fight between making sure he didn't get wet and making sure enough air was circulating.

Bloomburger · 07/11/2019 08:08

Get yourself a double buggy to see you through the winter and see if you can book an intensive driving course and get DH to take sometime off to allow you to do this. I passed in a manual but now have an automatic and I'd never go back. Would you be averse to expressing for baby?

dottiedodah · 07/11/2019 08:15

I passed my test at 32 ,and know someone who passed at 47! You are never too old to learn.Can you leave babe with hubby ,and see if there are some Saturday afternoon slots at all? This will be easier than going out in the evenings when its dark and you are tired. Maybe you could share the walk with another Mum in the same boat?

KellyMarieTunstall2 · 07/11/2019 08:15

Hi OP
Make your life as easier as possible, use a buggy board or try a double buggy, I've got an out and about 360 and the seat is large enough for a 5 year old, I used mine a few times with my baby in the sling and the 2 year old and 7 year old in the pram as she was tired!
If you can afford it get a taxi when you've no energy and start driving lessons now so hopefully you'll be driving next winter.

SarahTancredi · 07/11/2019 08:21

do a similar walk with 4 yr old and a 1 yr old. It's not fun in the rain but it could be a lot worse. I wouldn't drive even if I could tbh, the parking at school is horrendous and becomes a free for all at about 8:45

Yes I'm.always amazed at how driving is trotted out as the answer to everything.

My dd goes to a school 4 miles away. The journey has been known to take anything from 15 mins to 2 hours depending on the traffic and whether theres been an.accident somewhere or a burst water main.

There have been times a 12 mile back route in the opposite direction has been quicker and days when my older dd who has a 40in walk to school has beaten me. In fact she regularly walks right past me stuck at lights for the 3rd turn with no where to go.

I'd give up the stress of the tailgating, aggressive driving , the endless jams and roadworks fir a 50 min walk in the rain in a heartbeat tbh.

And yes dont get me started on parking by a school. I live near one ( catholic so we cant get in) and omg...

It is something to think about for sure.

Rinoachicken · 07/11/2019 08:22

I really feel your pain as I had this a couple of years ago before I learned to drive, but my school age child was a 6 and my youngest was 2.5. I used a buggy board. I was still exhausted but the kids were not and that meant we didn’t have exhaustion tantrums constantly, and the journey was made less fraught because I wasn’t having to nag cajole and drag them along. Reception is exhausting for children who are not yet used to school.

Get a buggy board x

Elodie2019 · 07/11/2019 08:23

Sarah
I'm sure the OP is capable of planning ahead.

Scarlettpixie · 07/11/2019 08:23

I would get a buggy board, even if she only uses it some of the time.

20-25 mins isn’t really that far but I get that it becomes a drag.

Does DD have any friends who walk the same way? Could you walk the same way, even part way? That way you both have someone to chat with and it becomes a good distraction from the walk. You can also start to set up play dates to give you a break occasionally.

In the meantime, start those driving lessons. Could you do an hour on Sat/Sun while DH minds the children? I appreciate baby is breastfed but you could leave her for an hour.

jessycake · 07/11/2019 08:26

I would get a buggy board or cheap double buggy , but it wouldn't harm you to look into a taxi account for a month or two in the morning if you can afford it , just till you are on your feet . It's what works for you , not anyone else .

Whattodoabout · 07/11/2019 08:27

It can take a lot longer to learn how to drive when you are older. I’m not being cynical, just trying to manage your expectations. I only learnt later in life and it took me around a year of weekly lessons before my instructor even considered me test ready. I wasn’t a bad driver or even a nervy one but it took me longer to feel confident than I reckon it would as a cocksure teenager. You can do driving lessons at the weekend or in evenings when your DH is home from work, I did this with breastfed babies at home. Some instructors also let you take baby along in the back.

I feel your pain, my DC have never been in a school less than a 35 minute walk from home and we have had to walk it there and back a fair few times. Is a bus a possibility? I would get a taxi on seriously wet days if a bus isn’t possible.

Whattodoabout · 07/11/2019 08:30

@SarahTancredi is correct. Getting a taxi on a school day can be impossible and can make you late. Pre-book the night before if you can see it’s forecast to be bad weather.

Vulpine · 07/11/2019 08:32

Cycle?

Nousernameforme · 07/11/2019 08:33

Taxi on school run time is a pipe dream. Most are prebooked for school runs themselves. learning to drive is great but can't happen instantly. Go with the buggy board and look into booking lessons asap most instructors round here at least have a wait time. Start working on your theory test in the meantime. Again you are going to have to book that up for in a few weeks when your partner is here I don't know if they do them on weekends i should hope so.

Tvstar · 07/11/2019 08:34

A 5 year old is easily be able to do that and if she is struggling then all the more reason to keep at it until she builds up a bit more stamina. Don't take a scooter though!
All those saying get a taxi, certainly in this area you wouldn't be able to, they are all busy with contract hires at school run time.
And how is a 6th former supposed to take her? They would need to go to their own school!

Daddypigismyhusband · 07/11/2019 08:35

Op I had the same problem. In the end I gave up and got the double buggy out. My dd now walks part of the way and gets in to the buggy if it rains or shes tired. Its a phil and teds tandem so no one can even see her in the back of it... you can get them second hand for around £50

dottiedodah · 07/11/2019 08:35

I agree with others here .Much easier in an automatic! For all these people saying they walked to School in a snowstorm and back for 5 miles each way ,Times Have Changed ! Get over it already .Many Schools in the 60s and 70s had a longer school day ,and I think longer holidays too! There was less traffic as well, and more schools were built meaning there was less travelling time ! BF is very tiring ,and I read somewhere that it is equilivant to walking 7 miles a day! adding on a walk of 20/30 mins 4 times a day and no wonder poor OP is exhausted!

ChinaCat345 · 07/11/2019 08:40

Buggy board or a big trike
. I love big trikes, you never see them, but they do exist, only any good, if the school has a bike shed to leave it in.

Hard to find them now, but here’s one

www.jmhcycles.co.uk/special-needs-trike-disability-tricycle-adult-belfast-lisburn-northern-ireland-ni/Mission-Musketeer-14-Tricycle-special-needs

MouseMartin · 07/11/2019 08:41

As Vulpine said, try cycling. A childback tandem would work, we bought one when our youngest was about 5 or 6 and he loved it. Baby can go in a child seat on the back. Although many car drivers behave like pigs to cyclists, they do give you lots of room if you have a child on the back.

www.sjscycles.co.uk/bikes/thorn-explorer-1711-childback-tandem-27-speed-shimano-used/

TinyTear · 07/11/2019 08:41

I used a buggy board all through Reception year for my eldest...
Other wise yes, a sling for the baby (coat over the sling and an umbrella and baby is dry)

Potnoodledoo · 07/11/2019 08:41

And yes dont get me started on parking by a school. I live near one ( catholic so we cant get in) and omg...

Why cant you get in to the Catholic school?

Di11y · 07/11/2019 08:43

also a good sling for your Newborn so you have both hands free for dragging the scooter.

Monkeyseesmonkeydoes · 07/11/2019 08:44

That's not really that far - seems the issue is DD's tiredness. IS she getting enough sleep, going to bed early enough? School is knackering for them when they first start. If she's a bit more energy she should be able to scoot herself. And get her moving early, nothing worse that rushing for the school run, just makes it all seem like so much more hassle.

TeddTess · 07/11/2019 08:58

i went back to using a double buggy (P&T with the toddler seat underneath) for the school run when DD1 was in reception. She used to walk sometimes, or for some of it. They get so tired. It was about 20-25 mins for us too.

A buggyboard is good but can be hard on your back.

AnnieLee90 · 07/11/2019 09:01

I would try and have a rainy day taxi fund, get a really good baby Carrier, a rain cover for it, real good water proof gear and some headphones and something to listen to, and find ways to make it more fun. Also bring lots of snacks for your 5 year old. I've been known to bribe mine with anything from cheese to raisins to melon to haribo. We usually go via any shop or parks we pass which takes longer but breaks up the journey and makes it more interesting. I use public transport even when it takes slightly longer whenever I can because, again, it breaks up the journey. But if you have any choice to get a taxi on the torrential rain days then do it. You don't have to be a martyr

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