Feel like a bad human

[ElizabethinherGermanGarden]

I realise that IABU but I have to say that this tweet strikes me as so bloody tiresome:

twitter.com/eliistender10/status/1191988336665251841?s=21

Bad human?

why watch / read it then ?

Yes you're a bad human 😉
Seriously though, if this irritates you you have obviously never had anxiety or much empathy for those who do. Doesn't hurt to be kind.

You see? Hence bad human. Having said that, I am always kind in real life, where I do have a very good friend with generalised anxiety who I've been supporting fairly tirelessly for decades - and I do know all the things on the little post-its.

That's the beauty and relief of an anonymised forum, though, for expressing the ugly thoughts.

I have anxiety and I agree with you. Irritating af

So why is it so tiresome to you...?

I don't know. Each individual post-it seems fine. Perhaps it's the number of them, or the way it pauses on each one, or the general twee-ness of it all with the reverse video (what's that meant to mean?)

My anxious mate needs all of those things and we bumble along pretty well, although it has been quite bad at some points and bearing with needed patience and understanding etc.

I guess it's different when it's a real person and annoying AF when it's a randomer making a trite little video of demands that on the face of it seem pretty, well, demanding.

NameChangedNoImagination

Wow.

Why did you need to articulate that? Yes it’s anonymised but FFS if that lack of empathy is really how you feel then I wonder if you and your anxious friend are really ‘bumbling along pretty well’ - be interesting to hear it from his/her perspective.

In my view anxiety is on the rise because we live in an increasingly intolerant and unkind world where people seem to think it’s their right to express every tiny annoyance and spew yet more unkindness into the ether. It may be anonymised but people still read it and your post has actually really pissed me off.

I think the problem with it is the "I need ..... from you" and "I need you to ..... for me" without any acknowledgement that the person you are telling might have their own issues and have every right to walk away.

My own post it note is simply

"Please don't judge me or take it personally and if you feel the need to step away please be open minded to coming back when things are better."

Good post milkandtwosugars!

Yes I get it. I suffer from dreadful anxiety and I think the video is demanding too.

Here are all the things you should feel obliged to do to prioritise and help me. Never mind what anyone else has going on, this is what I need.

Life and the people in it just don’t operate to order.

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, meeeeeeeeeee. Yes, that is very very bloody tiresome.

There is a book called Dare by Barry McDonagh which is useful if you have anxiety.

Me me me me me. Agree op.

Two of dds friends have developed anxiety much weeping and wailing if there’s a supply teacher or they don’t like their lunch. It’s hard to sustain unstinting daily support in the face of that dd is flagging tbh.

Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me (but, not everything is about you.) YANBU.

Oh, I thought I was being clever and original but two other posters got there first. But what about me?

BritishHorrorStory If you make a video pleading your case, with a bunch of post it notes about how you are feeling, we may take you more seriously. As it is you are just not demanding enough attention to your sad plight.

FridalovesDiego Is the plinky-plonky piano music playing in the background optional, or a must?

I agree with others, it's a bit me me me me and not everyone can hack a relationship with so many post it notes

Well it depends just how bad your anxiety is.

Why did you feel the need to articulate that?
I think it's something like probing a rotten tooth: it's something you shouldn't do but you do it anyway. I go out of my way to be kind and non-judgemental in real life, and as far as my lovely anxious friend goes, I'd walk through fire for her, but when I watched the little video, my instant reaction was 'oh fuck off!' I don't particularly like myself for it and I'm wondering why I reacted that way. In theory, I'm very pro-support for mental health. So I was interested to see how other people also reacted to the video because I'm not sure whether I'm a less-nice person than I think, or if it's a really irritating video.

This IS a real place, right? Did I just make up Mumsnet in my head?!

It’s an irritating video.

The thing about probing a rotten tooth is that you do it inside your own head and you don’t need to tell everyone about it. I’m sorry but I think it probably does make you less nice than you think you are - not having the thought, everyone has unkind/ugly thoughts but I think it betrays a lack of empathy and understanding, you seem more concerned with how you seem than how you act. How can you be ‘pro support for mental health in theory’? That doesn’t make you a good human being, it just makes you not a bad one.

FWIW the video is a bit irritating. But if you can’t see past the medium to what the person is trying to articulate, then I don’t think you are kind or empathetic. Think about the person with anxiety who made the video. If they read your thoughts on it, it’s likely that it would reinforce feelings they already have of not being entitled to ask for what they need, of being irritating, being a burden, putting themselves out there and being rejected, looking foolish or needy or weak...these are all things that people with MH issues struggle with with every day.

I don't think you're unkind the video is just extremely fucking annoying.