To give this gift voucher back?

[Confusion77]

Dsis has recently started "pampering" herself. By that I mean regular hair appointments, facials, nails. None of the females in my family are very good at this stuff. She's got more disposable income than previously and wants to look after herself more, which is great.

For my birthday she bought me a voucher to have my nails done, as a treat. It was several months ago, and I haven't used it, because I can't think of anything worse tbh. I struggle to sit through occasional hair appointments and have no interest in having my nails done, at all. I won't carry on doing it, I won't enjoy it, I don't want to use it.

I'm thinking of saying thanks, I really appreciate the thought, but why don't you use it as you like having your nails done and I don't want to waste it?

She will know if I don't use it or give it to someone else.

I don't really know if I'm being unreasonable or not, hence asking here.

I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all, but I am very much like you. I have never had my nails done and never will. Can’t think of anything worse. I think as long as you’re nice and polite about it, it should be okay to mention and offer it back.

It's a tricky one op because I'm sure you don't want to offend. I'm like you and just not that in to pampering. I received a massage voucher for my birthday from my BIL nearly 2 years ago now and I still haven't used it (I imagine it has now expired!) I knew as soon as I opened it that I wouldn't use it, but didn't have the heart to say so. Not sure what the answer is really, is your dsis likely to be offended if you tell her it's unlikely that you'll use it?

Have you checked whether the salon offers anything else that you might find .ore appealing? If not, I'd probably give it to someone who I know would use it. I'm not sure giving it back comes across all too well.

She does facials and that sort of thing. I'd happily take a back massage but she doesn't do those.

Dsis knows the person, so will know I haven't used it and will also ask if I have, so can't really give it to someone else

I would be the same. I think I would be honest, at risk of offending, and offer it back to her. Also you don't want her to continue buying these sorts of gift if they are a waste.

A facial might be nice, it's always a good idea to look after your skin. If you don't fancy that, I'd maybe tell her you're not allowed your nails done for work and give it back to her in that case.

Is it a salon or someone working from home? If it’s a salon is it possible you could use the voucher to buy some products from them instead? Our local salon sells tons of stuff for hair and beauty care.

Could you just have a manicure without the nails being painted? Or even a pedicure? Most beauty therapists do a range of things so could you pick something more ‘you’?

I think it's a salon but with one person working for herself. I don't want any products. Again, totally pointless. I have cupboards full of various body/face products given as presents, that I don't use.

I was thinking you could re-gift products. Probably not back to your sister though

I would just be honest with your sister OP. Unless you two have history of a bad relationship she’ll probably be okay about it. As a PP said, using work or something as an excuse would be good if you could do that.

God I sound really ungrateful. I did want a manicure, a pedicure, a facial, or any products. I really, really wouldn't enjoy any of the treatments. I can afford to get them myself, and I don't, because I really don't want to. I've thought about this a lot, and given that she's friends with the person and will know that I haven't used the voucher, I thought it best to offer it back so it wasn't wasted, especially when she has something done most weeks herself.

That should read DON'T

Urgh, I'm with you op, I honestly hate those sort of things. The mn Spa day always makes me shudder 😂

I don't think you're unreasonable to give it back, obviously in a tactful and grateful for the thought way. As a pp said you don't want to be the recipient of these vouchers for years to come.

Honestly, it makes me wonder if my family know me at all!

I don't want to offend her, equally I don't want to waste her money.

Have a pedicure OP!
I cut and dye my own hair, sort out my own eyebrows and having painted fingernails makes me feel queasy, but I haven’t cut my own toe nails for years. Having my hoofs smoothed massaged and bright nails is fantastic.

I’d get the pedicure. You don’t have to get polish applied if you would prefer not to.

I don't want a pedicure!! I can't stand the thought of someone touching my feet. Urgh.

So it's not just 'nails' it's a whole range of treatments.

Just have a facial or something to say you've used it.

I think it's a bit ungrateful to give it back

No, the voucher is for nails. I don't know if it's transferable.

Ask if it is transferable. I personally would try and make the best of it .
I would either have something else done or even I wasn't keen go for it as it would give me a break .
Dh bought me vouchers for beauty salon, yet should know better, but has arranged that we both will get something that day. I am going along with it so I don't ant to offend him.
If you are happy to give it back then do.
I would hate to have a present returned .

Instead of returning it to your sister, could you contact the salon owner about it directly? You could say that for personal reasons you can’t use it and don’t want to offend your sister, so can the salon owner pass it on as a bonus for someone else?

You could

a) Purchase a product and then use this as a gift for someone who is interested in this - that way the friend would confirm to your sister that you had cashed in the voucher and you could save money on a gift in the future

or

b) Suggest that you and your sister go for a nail treatment together and then consider the time as you would if you went for a coffee and a chat with your sister, catching up etc. Rather than see it as a waste of time if you went alone.

@Confusion77 〜
I'd give it back to her -- because if you don't, she'll give you another one!
Just be honest with her - as long as you approach it as kindly as you seem here, she'll understand.

Let us know how it goes!