Am I expecting too much from FWB?

[RollercoasterCoaster]

I recently started a fwb thing with someone I’ve known for a couple of years.

I went into this thinking it would be a friends thing as well as the benefits. He only really seems to talk to me when he wants to meet up, is this normal?

Yesterday for example I text asking if we could talk about something that had happened. He didn’t reply until this evening and then said he was busy so didn’t have time to talk.

I’ve never had a fwb before so I don’t know if I’m expecting too much to still want to actually be friends with him? If what he’s doing is normal? Or if he’s treating me badly as soon as he’s got what he wanted?

No direct experience but I know somebody with the same exp as a pp. started as fb, they are now married with two kids!

Depends on what you want OP. Relationships whatever they are, are decided between the people within them.

My friends and lovers are exactly that. We hang out together, cinema, coffee's, lunches, dinners, hols, weekends away and we share each others lives.
Do we want to live together and have a relationship? absolutely not. We value our independence and freedom.

Thanks everyone.

He would have always spoken to me before when we were just friends, and if it’d been about meeting up I’m sure he would have found the time to talk to me. I haven’t done this before so wasn’t sure if it was more normal not to talk in between meeting or if he was not really respecting me as a friend still.

I’ll have a think about what I want from this and talk to him about what he’s expecting too.

My understanding was the FWB was the 'polite' name for a fuck buddy. Bit like how gender replaces the word sex.

I did. One for 2 years and one for 4 years. No contact between meets ups and they disappear in the morning, absolutely perfect for me at the time!

But sex + hanging out + emotional support + chatty texts - nope that's a relationship!

The best FWB scenario is when you don't live near each other. My ex used to roll into town once a year or so and if we were both single we'd have a bunk up. Outside of that, he was far away and not really on my mind.

Although admittedly that was in days before WhatsApp was invented.

The whole discussing "what things are" drove me mad with my FWB.

Op he's told you through action what he wants. If you don't want that end it.

I think FWB doesn’t work for you. I think with women especially many of them like yourself want more than a fuck.

The point of a FWB is they come over for a fuck, at a push you might have a drink/ watch a film. Then you don’t really talk until you next want sex.

You need a partner by the sounds of it

I think there is no definition, it’s what works for you.

I had a FB in London, would literally text when I was there, he’d come over, we would have sex, catch up on life and gone again in the morning. Maybe the odd text invetween to check in but no emotional connection.

Current FWB is totally different, texts every day, 2-5hr long calls maybe every 3 days, interested and understanding of one another’s lives. A proper friend. I fact I talk to him more than any relationship I’ve had since divorce 😂

But that again may not work for some as you can get too connected and it definitely will not be exclusive or a relationship ever.

If you want a proper connection with this person and feel upset he’s not talked to you, I would suggest you aren’t in the right emotional place for a FWB.