She's 2. Split when she was 6 months because he had an affair. Has her one Saturday every 2 weeks, DD adores her daddy and always asks to see him more. I've said to him it would be good for her if he maybe had her 2 nights on a weekend or start having her every Saturday so she gets a bit more time with him now she is out of the awkward baby stage. He makes excuses all of the time. He is flatsharing with his brother (his brother is a nice enough bloke who I have no problems with DD being around though he is recently divorced) and uses that as an excuse, basically saying the flat would be too cramped. Except it is a 2 bed flat, one of the rooms is DD's own room with a child bed, brother is dossing on the sofa. I appreciate it's not the best setup but I don't think it's a valid excuse as the flat is plently big enough for DD to play and she has her own room to sleep in. It's not like she'd be sleeping in a travel cot in the living room next to his brother on the sofa. I don't think this is brother's doing as even before he moved in, DD's dad made excuses not to have her more. "I'd be too tired to spend time with her/The main road outside the flat keeps her awake/I'm covering so and so's shift that day".
I'm working part-time at the moment and my mum has DD during that time. However I would like to do a degree at uni, the subject is something I've always wanted to do and I'd be able to give DD a better life once I got a job through it. I have qualifications for the degree and I'm sure I'd get into uni easily once I apply, but I'm recuctant because I'd probably have to quit work due to the nature of the degree (awkward night time placements etc) and also childcare is a concern. My mum is absolutely brilliant with childcare but of course has her own life and I don't expect her to have her all of the time. I can stretch to a bit of paid childcare, but I'll need other help. DD's dad works 3 mornings a week, that is it. The degree and everything that comes with it would be so much easier if he'd be able to have her one or two nights during the week if I'm at nighttime placements. Or the odd evening etc. I don't expect him to have her all the time, as I said just a couple of nights in the week and then we can sort out nursery drop offs/picks ups so it fits in with which on of us would be working/on placement. If this happened I'd probably terminate the Saturday visits because I'd want her on weekends.
Except he's said no. Apparently it would be too much "upheavel" for DD and instead he's just told me to spend the child maintenance I get off him on childcare. He has no idea how much it costs. AIBU to think that he's BU? I have DD 13 out of 14 nights and though I only work part time, I have more hours than he does and yet I manage. There's no valid reason why he can't help out during the week then drop her off at the nursery when he is working.