To email the teacher about this trivial thing?

[Amithatparentohgodmaybe]

My daughter is in year 6. She's a good kid, reasonably academic and well behaved, and she's always been keen to take on responsibilities. The school seems to encourage this, all sorts of roles which they can put themselves forward for, house captain, prefect, school councillors, safe boarders etc...

She's really disappointed today as the last roles were handed out and she hasn't been given anything. The teacher said she was picking people who didn't already have responsibilities, but DD got nothing.

She's expressed her disappointment to me and she said she cried at school but she recognises she just has to accept it, she gets that sometimes things just dont your way.

WIBU to drop the teacher a quick email just mentioning that DD had been really keen to have some sort of role this year and she feels a bit overlooked and deflated. Any teachers reading this, would you be pissed off or would you just make a mental note to consider her if anything else came up, which is really all I'm hoping for!

Well what roles did she put herself forward for?? Does EVERYONE get a role??

If you word your email as you have done above, as a teacher I wouldn't be annoyed. I'd probably be kicking myself for the oversight. I'd also mention that DD is keen to have a responsible role if any other opportunities crop up.

God No don't be that parent, your daughter has accepted it, that's just life and all.

I think the way you have worded it in your OP would be fine, I was secondary so a bit different but I'd probably just make a note to myself to put her forward for the next thing.

How many roles are there and how many children? Did she have a role last time they were allocated?

Picking people who don’t already have responsibilities is a nice idea on paper but what it really does is exclude the people who give to the school in lots of ways that aren’t always that exciting (and may cut into their leisure time) from doing something really enjoyable whilst rewarding those who couldn’t be bothered up to this point. I am a teacher and I would definitely discuss this with a colleague who thought it was a good idea to do it that way.

Be calm and say that whilst you understand them wanting to give everyone a chance to take a responsibility, your dd was particularly excited about the play and now feels that her service to the school has disadvantaged her.

Erm, a play?

I'd email, nothing you've written here makes you seem hot headed or angry so even if nothing positive comes of it I doubt it would cause anything negative either.

She puts herself forward for everything she loves doing stuff. For the house captain role they had to do presentations, and she put loads of effort into it, she didnt get it and she accepted that with good grace. Similar with other roles in previous years, shes had a lot of knock backs and she knows she can't do everything.

Lipper I dont know, this could well be DD exaggerating and some others haven't got a role. I will interrogate her when I get home!

I just think it's a bit sad that she has all this enthusiasm and feels overlooked. No problem with the teacher saying there arent enough roles and she was unlucky this year, but if theres a chance it's an accident can a gently phrased email do any real harm?

Definitely send the email OP, it's worth a go and really, compared to the shit teachers get from a lot of parents, it won't even register on the dick-o-meter.

Do you have a parents evening coming up that you could mention it at? If not I think an email is fine as long as you're not complaining but instead word it as 'DD is keen to have a role if anything else comes up in the future.'

Surely not every child in year 6 has a role? Maybe ask her to approach the teacher- and ask for feedback? Or yo be kept in mind for future opportunities- I'd imagine a teacher would appreciate that more than a parent questioning them- shows maturity in the child.

Has she had roles in previous years and other children haven’t?

I would encourage DD to politely approach the teacher herself. Something like you've said here (she understands that not everyone can have a role but if anything new comes up she would like teacher to keep her in mind as she's really keen)

If she's very shy, perhaps you could role play it with her first

At 10/11 I think she's old enough to start speaking for herself and it will be good self management skills for the future and good practice for secondary where she'll be a bit more independent