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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Scientology - cult or helpful

108 replies

Lochnessgiraffe · 06/11/2019 16:29

My dcousin has recently started going to the local scientology place and I have been concerned. He is doing and paying for the self improvement courses. He says that they are friendly and helpful and supportive. He is not long separated from his wife and family and I think v vulnerable. He has no other friends. I live over 3 hours away from him but try to contact him about every week but this is all he talks about now and posts about. He seems happier with himself and more confident. But I'm concerned.
Aibu to be worried or just leave him as he's happy?

OP posts:
adaline · 06/11/2019 17:08

Definitely a cult.

FizzyGreenWater · 06/11/2019 17:09

Lol, 'Scientology is Helpful' is a very rarely used sentence I find Grin

Stickybeaksid · 06/11/2019 17:11

Watch going clear to find out all you need to know.

traveller11 · 06/11/2019 17:16

Defintely a cult.

I lived near the UK National HQ for about a year and you could always tell they were brainwashed.

Unfortunately, if he's been brainwashed already, there isn't much you can do. Go at him factually and with financial tips in hopes he doesn't put too much into this

AryaStarkWolf · 06/11/2019 17:18

It's certainly not a cult and anyone who says it is is probably part of the evil Galactic warlord Xenu's forces.

Grin
cacklingmags · 06/11/2019 17:19

Rabid dodgy cult. Tell him to run. These bastards still owe me a fiver from 1977.

theboxfamilytree · 06/11/2019 17:19

If you tell him it's a cult and tell him to distance himself and tell him you don't think much of it, he'll cut himself off from you and become more determined.

You can read how to reach people getting sucked into cults but essentially ask questions that are open and non-judgemental that give him opportunities to think through doubts he may have or question what he's being told. Don't put it down or tell him to abandon it or tell him what to think.

Cults work by isolating their targets, so don't help them. Don't be judgemental - you want him to have someone to turn to if/when he starts having doubts or concerns who he trusts and who he isn't expecting to tell him "I told you so" or call him stupid for getting involved with it.

Of course they're nice and helpful - how would they suck anybody in if they started off obviously cruel and controlling?

GladAllOver · 06/11/2019 17:22

Of course it's a cult, and they have a fucking cheek calling it a Church to claim tax free status.
If your cousin needs emotional or spiritual help there are far better places to get it.

diddl · 06/11/2019 17:22

Cult.

As per pps, it's terrifying that people get sucked in at all-let alone knowingly.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 06/11/2019 17:23

Look up L Ron Hubbard or LRonners

Bloody scary cult that even the man who invented it regretted, in all its brainwashing weirdness.

www.nytimes.com/1986/01/29/obituaries/l-ron-hubbard-dies-of-stroke-founder-of-church-of-scientology.html

Iflyaway · 06/11/2019 17:24

There's an excellent documentary on YouTube made by people who have left Scientology, can't remember the name.

Much better than the rubbish Louis Theroux documentary film that basically shows him hanging around outside their gates in California...

malmi · 06/11/2019 17:27

It's a cult and if you want to stop him being drawn in you need to tread carefully. They know how to reel people in and slowly cut them off from whatever 'outside' support network they have until their whole life is inside the church. They will then bleed them dry for every last penny they've got and make them feel guilty they can't contribute more. Before long they'll be recruiting new members.

The early stages of scientology often result in apparently positive changes to people as they gain confidence, a friendly support network, and are made to feel loved and valued. They learn some pop psychology from the courses they are paying for, some coping techniques for dealing with their anxieties, and they start to believe there is no upper limit to the benefits that can be unlocked. This is the trick, convincing them if they keep paying they can gain superhuman powers of insight, confidence, ability to take control of any person in any situation, etc.

You need to be the person that he can talk to without being made to feel opposed or belittled, which obviously means avoiding reminding him that he's been stupid enough to join a cult. Gentle but critical questions about what he's been up to, without judgement. Letting him see for himself that the gains he's been making won't continue forever, and making sure he knows you'll be there to support him if he decides to break away, without an "I told you so".

I wish I could say more but this is all I know from reading up on similar cases, as it's not actually affected me personally.

Purpleartichoke · 06/11/2019 17:30

I’m worried any time someone I care about joins a religious organization. There is really nothing you can do other than live a good life by example and hope they come to their senses.

Mydogmylife · 06/11/2019 17:33

Majorly dangerous cult! No way will they loosen their grip after a couple of 'courses' - please try to get him away from these people asap

MouseMartin · 06/11/2019 17:38

A dangerous and nasty cult. Try talking to a local Priest or Vicar. I am not religious but my experience of talking to priests is that they are usually very knowledgeable about most religions and cults, not just their own, so they may be able to offer some advice.

Lochnessgiraffe · 06/11/2019 17:39

I don't want to go down to the 'it's a cult' route. We keep in contact as we are both only children of the same age. Has anyone done the courses and got out? He's not a spiritual person v atheist so I'm hoping that will help him.

OP posts:
thatwasMauijustmessingaround · 06/11/2019 17:39

Tell him to watch the Louis Theroux film 😳😳

Harriett123 · 06/11/2019 17:54

@thatwasMauijustmessingaround
I second this the louis theroux documentary was amazing and terrifying

PositiveVibes11 · 06/11/2019 18:00

Watch the Leah Remini documentaries.

cherryblossomgin · 06/11/2019 18:03

Its the cultiest cult, and very secretive.

RuffleCrow · 06/11/2019 18:03

Ok, here's an idea - he's only vulnerable to Scientology because it's promising to meet needs of his that are currently unmet. (Belonging, togetherness, company, purpose, meaning etc). How about a gentle and gradual focus from you where you gently guide him towards other sources of those deep human needs? Even something like just inviting him to your local church for christmas eve, or encouraging him to join that football team he's been umming and urring about for years (for example). Obviously don't keep bombarding him every time you see it. Think of it as a medium to long term plan. Subtlety is key.

Ironfloor269 · 06/11/2019 18:04

Bloody cult. I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole.

RuffleCrow · 06/11/2019 18:04

see him*! (Not sure where 'it' came from!)

cherryblossomgin · 06/11/2019 18:10

The courses he is doing might may be what they call auditing. You have to pay to do it and it's not cheap. Also you are expected to buy the books that are 4000. They also do security checks on members to find out everything about them. Its very difficult to leave scientology.

redappleandaquamarinebow1987 · 06/11/2019 18:11

Does your cousin have amazon movies? there is a very good documentary on there about them. Please please please get your cousin to watch it. Before I thought they are a cult and a little crazy but nothing more. The documentary showed ne just how dangerous they are not just to the wallet but also mental and physical danger.