To take my DS3 to Birthday parties?

[goadyficker]

When he didn't have one of his own?

I have massive social anxiety so I'm never, ever going to be able to organise one myself. When he is at school I'll do the whole book a party at a venue thing and he can invite his mates.

At this age, it's all on me and I simply cannot do it. I haven't had a birthday celebration for myself in 20 years.

I'm worried that my son will ask why he didn't get a party. Would it be kinder to just not go?

No not at all of course he can go. To be honest around here most people don't have bigger parties (and by big parties I don't mean whole class parties I mean bigger than family parties) until they are in school so 5 and even at that it depends on their birthday month, it could easily be 6.

You should definitely take him! Not all kids have third birthday parties - some are too shy to enjoy them, some parents can't afford it, some go all out for a first child but decide it is OTT once they are past the PFB. No one will hold it against you if you don't have one.

But for those who are throwing the parties, it is really important that their DC's little friends are there to help make the party a success. So they want your DS there to help make that happen, even if you aren't going to reciprocate with a party invitation (though a play date invite might be a nice touch).

And as far as your child goes, he is just as likely to ask why he never gets to go to the parties he hears the others talking about at nursery, as he is to ask why he doesn't have the same big party some friends have. And presumably you do something special for his birthday, so you can just tell him that's what happened for his. Or that he will have a party next year when he turns 4.

Of course it's fine. I didn't do a proper party for DS until his 6th birthday!

Of course you can!

Also meant to say, sorry about your social anxiety. It is leading you to overthink this. He is invited, he should go (unless a prior commitment or other good reason).

I think it’s ok. Lost to people don’t host parties.

Another thought is to have a teeny tiny party for your son. If possible invite a single friend and if that’s not possible invite all his soft toys and any pets you have! Get lots of balloons and some party food. I bet he will still enjoy it.

You do celebrate his birthday though? Even in a small way / just family??

Yes we celebrate his birthday- presents, cake etc

Just cannot do a party. Be terrified that nobody would come and he'd be heartbroken.